Phsical Contact

Creative · Post by **Creative** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:05 pm

My main worry about relationships is that I don't enjoy phyiscal contact with people. I can't bear to touch someones skin. I am not sure how a boyfriend would react to that.

rah · Post by **rah** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:46 pm

i'm the same, i don't ever feel completely comfortable.

although i can't really explain why but it didn't apply to one of my exes....i was completely ok with him sharing my personal space and i ended up falling in love with him. (not because of that, i didn't really realise at the time that i was only ok with him touching me and no-one else)

so maybe it's just because you haven't met the right person yet? or if you do and you still feel uncomfortable then say so and explain why...if they're not understanding then they're not worth it xxx

Lithium_joe · Post by **Lithium_joe** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:08 pm

Maybe I'm just odd (quite likely) - but I adore being touched.

I dunno it's just one of my 'things'

Happiest place is inside of a cuddle.

gherkin001 · Post by **gherkin001** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 10:21 am

Lithium_joe wrote:Maybe I'm just odd (quite likely) - but I adore being touched.

I dunno it's just one of my 'things'

Happiest place is inside of a cuddle.

I agree completely!!!

Kirsty

robyn · Post by **robyn** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 11:22 am

Im really touchy feely too, I just love physical contact, but I can be tactaphobic if Im over stressed or if its strangers

maybe theres guys out there who dont like touch either? maybe theyd be understanding and compatible for yoru creative?

WTCCFan · Post by **WTCCFan** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:39 pm

robyn wrote:but I can be tactaphobic if Im over stressed or if its strangers

I am another that just loves physical contact.

I quoted that bit because especially if it is a younger person and is someone I have got friendly with.

I don't know if I told you but for about 2 weeks I WAS out of my shell and a more confident person. From about Jan 15 of this year for about 13 weeks I was on a course that does a lot of work which improves Key Skills with regard to employment. Identifying our work abilities and where our abilities are best. Also a lot work improving our prodiction of our CV's, and Application Letters/Forms. On it we had a department called Recruitment who contact employers about getting one of us clients on a trial by basically selling us to the employer. Three very friendly women with their own unique personality I befriended very well.

One of them was called Carolline. She was about my height and tent times a sexy and gorgeous. I had such a massive crush on her I loved it when we touched each other in an affectionate way in the last week or two. I was sad when I left but I was glad I did get to touch the girl I had a secret crush on.

gherkin001 · Post by **gherkin001** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:35 pm

As much as I do love my cuddles, I have always preferred it when Im emotionally very close to the person first........

Kirsty..........

robyn · Post by **robyn** » Sun Sep 16, 2007 11:09 am

yeah me too, hence the reason I get panicy if their strangers

Lithium_joe · Post by **Lithium_joe** » Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:31 pm

Oh I should have said - I am in a relationship already, so sort of assumed emotional closeness already.

But it's a big thing to invite someone else into your personal space* (and actually one of the best things about being in love with someone is finding how much different - just psychologically - being a two-some is.) That said, proximity has to be managed and it's possible to crowd someone and everyone needs space so as not to feel claustrophobic so physical closeness can have down-side too.

Ultimately it all comes down to respect, respect for that other person that sharing something as intimate as your immediate personal space and indeed skin, is done with care, attention and love.

Even so you'd find me hard pressed to find a spot on this Earth that isn't happier than inside of a cuddle.

LJ.

* personal space or as described in an overlooked movie, "The Frighteners":

"Sheriff Perry!! You are violating my territorial bubble!"

gherkin001 · Post by **gherkin001** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 6:43 am

I have to agree with you. the inside of clives arms has always been where i am happiest.

Kirsty

SavV · Post by **SavV** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 10:35 am

Greetings All (and sundry

)

I must say, I really don't like having people touch me... when I was younger i'd always say 'Don't touch' whenever someone did. I've got better... now I'll only say it if I'm under a lot of stress already. Is just a bad habit....

Only people I'll let touch me are people I'm really very close to emotionally already, but then mum has told me hugging me is like hugging a sack of potatoes, whatever that means. Maybe she just wants me to eat more! LOL! Having said that, although I'm letting said close people touch me, I'm not overly fond of it still. Hence sometimes they'll get a negative reaction, ie: fighting off being hugged etc.
I have found that if people work slowly into it, I'm more likely to be ok with it. One my best friends is a real "touchy feely" type, and she learnt to slowly work on it, starting with simple things like just touching my shoulder or the like... now she's pretty much of to just run up and hug me or whatever whenever she pleases as I'm... used? to it. However, this only applies to her, other people would have to go through the same process...

Hope this made some sort of sense...

Cheers,
SavV

WTCCFan · Post by **WTCCFan** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:47 pm

Here's a little theory of mine.

It is called the two "p's". The two p's are Poked and pushed.

I know it is literally a worst case scenario but I find if I am poked or pushed - anything other than affectionate touching like a hug by someone who, as one or two have said, I have an emotional attachment to - by someone who doesn't like me and is out to torment me in some way it makes my skin crawl and my blood boil.

Does anyone else have this proble, of the two p's? Where they hate being poked and/or pushed?

gherkin001 · Post by **gherkin001** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 5:35 pm

I do, Ive nearly started riots in shops when people have, whether accidentally or not, pushed me or anything with physical contact. I hate it!

Post by **Shadwell** » Sat Sep 22, 2007 10:39 pm

I like being touched, but not very good, when it is the unaware of about, or when I am going to be touched I really hate.

as it is a shock to my body, for something not to be there, and now it is, and so tend to wear the thickest item of clothing, so when someone does touch me, then it tends to absorb most of sudden shock of it. (even during really hot days!)

never told my parents why I actually wear a thick coat, and quite often looked at oddly by the police, ok so it is odd for someone to wear something like a coat on a hot day, but it makes me feel better in the fact of knowing that if someone does touch my back or shoulder, I am not going to jump out of my skin so much.

rah · Post by **rah** » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:49 pm

i've just realised, i think that one of the main reasons why i dislike being touched is because i'm so ticklish!

and i think i'm getting better with unexpected contact because i've been working with deaf people and it's often necessary for you to tap them on the arm to get their attention or for them to do the same to you, so i've had to get used to it a bit.