Tact

Greg · Post by **Greg** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:23 am

Who said anything about another life?
When I was a kid I used to try to make explosives for fun. One of my friends recently improvised a flamethrower from a super soaker, some white spirits, a stick and an oily rag and I think that wins.
In fact I'm convinced that all of lifes problems can be solved with chocolate, fire or some combination of the two.

...

Though other solutions are less likely to get you arrested I guess.

Esioul · Post by **Esioul** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 1:19 pm

I tried to set up a pyromania society at uni. No one wanted to join

I think I can be a bit tactless at times and say things in entirly the wrong way, or with an offensive tone of voice sometimes. Or sometimes I just say things that come out really weird, and this puts me off people.

Greg · Post by **Greg** » Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:48 pm

The trick is to call it a "circus society" and get people to juggle the flaming things. Then it's all good ;)

Miss Jayney · Post by **Miss Jayney** » Fri Jan 26, 2007 11:31 pm

i do not believe tact and jayne have ever been in the same sentance except to perhaps say "jayne has no tact whatsoever".

FREEFALL · Post by **FREEFALL** » Thu May 31, 2007 10:31 pm

Greg wrote:Who said anything about another life?
When I was a kid I used to try to make explosives for fun. One of my friends recently improvised a flamethrower from a super soaker, some white spirits, a stick and an oily rag and I think that wins.
In fact I'm convinced that all of lifes problems can be solved with chocolate, fire or some combination of the two.

...

Though other solutions are less likely to get you arrested I guess.

greg, i salute you

ok i have no tact, when my 16 year old cousin announced that she was pregenent after never using a condom with her boyfriend as he didn't like them and she ws too scared to go on the pill as it would make her fat, the first words i said to her were "god you are stupid", ok it may have been evil but i wasn't going to give her any sympathy. and now i bet everyone on the forum hates my guts

Dani · Post by **Dani** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 3:34 pm

How To Win Enemies and Unimpress People.. thats me $\:D/$

Sucks sometimes.. I have to build up barriers sometimes because of my lack of tact.

Carpe Veritas · Post by **Carpe Veritas** » Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:10 pm

Definitely hear you on this one. My Fiance keeps telling me that I have said horrible things or things horribly and I just kind of look at her blankly thinking 'what on earth is she talking about? Have I just been tactless again?'

My base solution with new people unless I have really offended them is to laugh

and hope they laugh also. Other than that I just try and apologise and ignore the fact theyare silly. Or that I am a lone unnapreciated gene-ass, (thats like a genius who can't do or say anything right)

Carpe Veritas · Post by **Carpe Veritas** » Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:14 pm

@ Dani, Its very frustrating isn't it? The main thing is to recognise when your putting up barriers I think and consciously try and get through them.

I have accepted that intolerant or unforgiving people will never be my friends

but a good way of looking at that is - would I want them to be?

Esioul · Post by **Esioul** » Tue Jun 12, 2007 10:44 pm

Argh through my bad handling of a situation I've now upset someone a lot, who doesn't seem to want to be my friend anymore...

Dani · Post by **Dani** » Tue Jun 12, 2007 11:49 pm

Carpe Veritas wrote:@ Dani, Its very frustrating isn't it? The main thing is to recognise when your putting up barriers I think and consciously try and get through them.

I have accepted that intolerant or unforgiving people will never be my friends but a good way of looking at that is - would I want them to be?

Thanks for that

I think of the last sentence there when I'm dealing with people

Post by **Shadwell** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:11 am

really having the wars with it aren't you esiuol

what tin of worms did you open? was it the one marked best before year dot?!! or was it our friend Dan?!!! I did see a message he wouldn't be on for a while! $\:D/$ have a party, but can't find the candles or the alcohol on this forum!!!!

lets see if I can catch up on postings with him now!!!!! before he gets back on!

nah! miss him really, soz Dan.

maybe we can help if you want to talk about it esiuol. usually is just the knack of opening the wrong tin of worms though

Esioul · Post by **Esioul** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:51 pm

I haven't offended Dan as far as I know, I hope not anyway!

Nah, it was a guy at uni who got the wrong idea about me. I feel a bit of a bitch about it because it must have been some impression I gave that caused it. I really like him as a friend, but now it seems we can't be friends anymore after I sent him a letter trying to sort things out. Probably a very untactful one. So I'm not really liking myself very much right now.

I have no idea of tact sometimes it seems to me. I say very innapropriate things, often about corpses/and or tentacles. I scared some 'normal' friends of a geek friend the other day.

Post by **Shadwell** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 6:14 am

letter's, text messages, and e-mails, to friends always seem to send out the wrong message, just in themselves. so I think it was more that than anything you actually put in it.

I try hard myself not to revert to these types of contact, even when you don't want to say it to someone personally.

as for being friends, then if he has tried to make a move on you, then it is more him than you, that has got the problem with the friendship, he will come around though!

the only thing he won't be able to do is forget it completely. and coming to terms with that is what is causing him the problem right now, so he just wants some time away from you, which I learned from my mistake, actually makes things worse. especially if it is a friendship you want to keep. but at the same time felt unable to forget it, and still can't.

so give him a week or so, then call him! otherwise the friendship will start to go sour, and he will never forgive himself, for not letting it slip straight away.

so don't let it bother you, it is just possibly the fact of you giving him the letter, rather than what you put in it, it could have had "Mary had a little lamb, she tied it to a pillon!!" inside, and still have the same effect!

Carpe Veritas · Post by **Carpe Veritas** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 11:14 am

I agree that letters in the mail unless they say "I wuv u 4ever" or something similar are always badly recieved. Thats why I only use them to break up with people as I flee the country :-D (only kidding)

In anycase if it was a 'don't get the wrong idea because I'm not interested in you' message it probably was never going down well so I wouldn't worry about it.

Some people just take rejection badly.

To help me, I tend towards diplomatic non offensive approaches when I get a chance to plan (if I don't I just offend/bemuse people) and try and phrase thing to avoid any mention of rejection when your rejecting someone etc.

The worst way to ever let someone down is to say "I'm not interested but..." the word but should never be used in telling bad news because people will always focus on the bad bit.

So instead of "I'm not interested in you but we can still be friends because i like you alot. Sorry to lead you on."
say "Its a pain, your really cute funny etc, its just that I don't want anything else other than friendship. I'm very sorry if I gave you the wrong idea"

Its all about the way things are phrased rather than what you actually say. Detail the good, soften the bad.

Does this help?

alice3rd · Post by **alice3rd** » Fri Feb 17, 2012 6:07 pm

Hello,

Can totally relate to this, I am soo offensive ! Without en thinking !!
One time I hugged my friend and before she even said hello I said urrhh have you had a shower you stink ! I'm also too brutally honest, when people ask me questions I can lie ! A friend asked me if I thought they were fat and before I'd even thought about it I just said yeh a bit ! I also interrupt people constantly and Im early even listen to them ! I don't do any of this intentionally, it just happens !!

Dyspraxic Adults

Tact

Re: Tact