Hi I am 23 M from France. I already spent more than 3k to learn how to drive. I have my license but I do a lot of accidents, especially concerning other cars.
So I gave up but the problem is that being a straight man without driving is definitely a debuff when it comes to dating. I moved to a big city with good public transport spending tons of money for rent but at least I can live without cars and bikes.
That said, problem is I already have to compensate for being short and bald, and not being able to drive makes me very disadvantaged at women eyes
I too am a non-driver due to visual impairment. Dating is definitely more
challenging and some ladies can't see past me not driving. That's their loss but it still v much hurts to be dismissed as it makes us compare ourselves.
I don't think there's an easy answer but I'm sure there is someone who will look past your not driving.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Dysprapizza wrote: ↑Tue Dec 17, 2024 9:17 am
It definitely is a big deal.
Nobody wants to drive you around for your entire life
I'd sell it as a break from bedroom activities, cooking and cleaning! Oops did I say that!
It should never be about a partner feeling (or being made to feel) they're some kind of servant and if they believe I'll expect to be driven everywhere then they're wrong about me. If women rule me out simply because I can't drive, they're never going to be the sort of person I could maintain a happy relationship with. It's not easy but we have to divorce ourselves from the idea we're only ever going to be a burden. Projecting that is not good!
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
I’d like to add that being transparent early on has been very helpful for me. I simply explain that I don't drive and propose meeting at convenient locations for both parties. Most people are quite understanding. I’m curious - do any of you include this information in your profile or discuss it during the initial conversation?
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It helped me loosen a couple of criteria I didn’t actually care about that much
If you’re curious whether your list is too tight or pretty chill, it gives you a quick read without taking it too seriously
Last edited by Tom fod on Thu Mar 19, 2026 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason:Advertising without prior permission!
Tom fod wrote: ↑Wed Nov 06, 2024 8:00 am
I too am a non-driver due to visual impairment. Dating is definitely more
challenging and some ladies can't see past me not driving. That's their loss but it still v much hurts to be dismissed as it makes us compare ourselves.
[url removed by Adminl
I don't think there's an easy answer but I'm sure there is someone who will look past your not driving.
It is incredibly frustrating when someone reduces your entire value as a partner down to a driver’s license. You are absolutely right—it is their loss—but that doesn't make the sting of being dismissed any less real. It feels like a snap judgment on your independence or capability, which is a painful thing to navigate when you’re already managing the "heavy" feeling that comes with depression.
Tom fod wrote: ↑Wed Nov 06, 2024 8:00 am
I too am a non-driver due to visual impairment. Dating is definitely more
challenging and some ladies can't see past me not driving. That's their loss but it still v much hurts to be dismissed as it makes us compare ourselves.
[url removed by Adminl
I don't think there's an easy answer but I'm sure there is someone who will look past your not driving.
It is incredibly frustrating when someone reduces your entire value as a partner down to a driver’s license. You are absolutely right—it is their loss—but that doesn't make the sting of being dismissed any less real. It feels like a snap judgment on your independence or capability, which is a painful thing to navigate when you’re already managing the "heavy" feeling that comes with depression.
Slipping dodgy links into the text of my wording and quoting this is utterly unacceptable!
Banned
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)