Hi, I think I'm Dyspraxic

[DyspArch]

Hi,
I'm early 30's male, living in Hampshire, originally from the North East.

I have been clumsy for a long time, I wouldn't necessarily say it's something that I had a reputation for growing up, I managed to get an A in GCSE PE, even though I once nearly accidentally put a rounders bat through the tech block window...
I was also on a rugby team where I developed a pretty good spin pass but was not so good.at the catching part, and I could never for the life of me do a drop kick to goal. I've been a lifelong Scout and am now an adult leader but I can only tie about 3 knots.

I have never learned to ride a bike, and while I will take to the water I wouldn't describe what happens as swimming. Several people have tried to teach me both skills, they've all failed and at times been screamed at because I got myself so wound up and frustrated. I passed my driving test on the second attempt and am fairly confident driving vans and trucks through my work.

I did Ok at school and got a 2:2 in Archaeology at university and got a job as an Archaeologist, which while manual isn't often fiddly and keeps me fit. I've started looking into Dyspraxia as my wife noticed how often I drop things, struggle with nappy bags, poppers and buttons on my son's clothes and walk into door frames etc, and how quickly I get frustrated at myself or the offending object. This all happened before sleep deprived parenthood but has naturally become more prevalent.

Looking into it so many aspects chime with my experience in life, clumsiness, poor timekeeping, Socially not very confident or outgoing, often find it hard to read people that I don't know well, poor handwriting and drawing.

My GP practice have only offered me an over the phone appointment so far which I have in about 9 hours from typing this, I'm not holding out much hope because the receptionist I talked to had never heard about Dyspraxia before and just parroted the NHS website back at me and said with (in my opinion) misguided authority "well there's probably nothing we can do for you"

[Tom fod]

Hi DyspArch

How did your telephone appointment go?

Regrettably your surgery receptionist is largely correct in that NHS provision for Adults seeking confirmation of and help /support for Dyspraxia is too often lacking.

In many ways the most useful help I've found is talking to others. Stress and/or lack of sleep so often make our traits and challenges all the more difficult/annoying and we might snap at others or just as likely turn our ire in on ourselves.

The other thing is that those who've lived with it undiscovered/unrecognised may be able to do some things that often be considered contrary to the notional list of what someone with dyspraxia cannot or would have great difficulty with.

[DyspArch]

Hi Tom,

The appointment went much better than I expected, especially given the attitude of the receptionist.

Turns out the GP I spoke to had a severely Dyspraxic child and therefore it wasn't like talking to a brick wall. He put in my record coded as mildly Dyspraxic. Honestly I just felt relief that I was listened to and believed.

I'm fortunate that Archaeology is quite a hot bed of neuro diversity so my colleagues that I've told have been really great and my employer have offered to look into extra support should I need it. I was concerned they would panic and force me out of any practical tasks but as I've been doing the job for 9 years and haven't caused any accidents or injuries they're happy to let me do what I do.

I find my biggest issue is the snapping, mostly at myself or the object I've dropped but sometimes at my wife when I'm struggling with something. It has always been a flash in the pan moment with me and seconds later when I've scooped up the mess I'm calm but I've upset her by snapping at her. It isn't pleasant and I'm not going to use Dyspraxia as a shield to protect me from blame but it has helped at least explain why I'm like that.

[Tom fod]

I think it all too often can cause internal frustration that can cause us to vent frustration either upon ourselves or loved ones

Glad your GP appointment turned out much more fruitfully than we pessimistically predicted.

[Auron]

It isn't pleasant and I'm not going to use Dyspraxia as a shield to protect me from blame but it has helped at least explain why I'm like that.

I find this is something non Dispraxic people struggle to comprehend, and therefore throw it back at you.

It’s about needing people to understand why it happened, not why to excuse it.

Like “It’s just an explanation not an excuse; I’m still sorry and remorseful and will try to make it up to you.”