Looking after a house!

Cooking, finances, shopping and any regular tasks that are challenging

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SarahTheScout
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Looking after a house!

Post by SarahTheScout » Wed May 16, 2018 11:30 am

Hi all, I live alone (my partner comes to visit me often, she lives in Cheshire, I'm in Yorkshire), and probably one of my biggest causes of stress is looking after my house. I just can't do it! Can't keep it tidy, can't keep on top of the washing up or laundry, can't even contact the landlord for repairs very easily. Trouble is, I don't like mess because it makes me even more unproductive because it overwhelms me. The more mess, the more unproductive, the more mess! It's a vicious cycle. I have various things in place like a whiteboard with various jobs on (which day is the black bin and which is the green, for example). My partner tells me that if I just put things away when I'd used them then it'd be fine because it wouldn't get in a mess to start with, but that's so much easier said than done when living with dyspraxia! I've tried to explain that to her but she doesn't live with the condition so will never fully understand what it's like.

I was mainly just venting (finally, people who (hopefully) understand what it's like!!), but any advice for managing this would be really helpful, please...

Edit: Just realised that I might have put this in the wrong place. Should it be in day to day living?

Tom fod
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by Tom fod » Wed May 16, 2018 11:51 pm

Your wish is my command but regrettably (or fortunately) I’m miles away in Gloucester and as a bloke I suspect my flat may be in a worse state.

My friend has suggested doing it a corner at a time but not sure throwing/shifting crap from one corner to the other three counts. Whilst some might say a tidy house is indicative of a wasted life seeing disorder is an unpleasant reminder of all we’re not good with. Perhaps we need a general household management tips thread.

Chez Tom one-time/ex Cub Scout it’s very much be prepared to witness an unholy mess!
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

SarahTheScout
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by SarahTheScout » Thu May 17, 2018 11:54 am

I’m a current Scout (section leader for a troops in Leeds)! And it’s the same, be very much prepared for an almighty mess. Haha I know what you mean about shifting stuff from one corner to another! I make piles... the “upstairs” pile, the “shelf” pile, the “kitchen” pile, the “recycling” pile... and then the piles stay there whilst I’m distracted by something else, then I trip over them trying to do something else, and they end up mixed up and all over again...

I think a general household management tips thread would be awesome... someone might have got it sorted...!

RedRevolver
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by RedRevolver » Thu May 17, 2018 9:58 pm

I'm the same. I grew up with neglectful parents, too, so I've never been in an environment where I've been shown how to do it, so I get really stressed out. Wish I could be better but it's unlikely to ever happen as I've developed other health problems.

SarahTheScout
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by SarahTheScout » Thu May 17, 2018 11:40 pm

I get you. I grew up learning how to do the things, but never really being very good at them. My first childminder person taught me how to fold up clothes to put them in the drawer, but I always struggled to make everything fit... And I only learned about 6 months ago that you can use the wardrobe for more than just really smart clothes!

RedRevolver
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by RedRevolver » Fri May 18, 2018 12:49 am

When I do them, I usually get praised for how well it's done. I just put so much energy into it that I just want to sit down forever, the fact it takes away all my energy to do anything I enjoy and I never get any help to do them. I'm not entirely sure why I've always found it so hard to attract people that can actually work in a team, and not do things in total isolation (e.g. you do the washing up, and I'll do it next time, not, I'll wash up, and you can dry them and put stuff away, and next time we can swap roles etc.).

But for anyone that is in a position to work with someone else, I think it's a good place to start regarding household chores.

SarahTheScout
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by SarahTheScout » Fri May 18, 2018 9:54 am

RedRevolver wrote:When I do them, I usually get praised for how well it's done. I just put so much energy into it that I just want to sit down forever, the fact it takes away all my energy to do anything I enjoy and I never get any help to do them. I'm not entirely sure why I've always found it so hard to attract people that can actually work in a team, and not do things in total isolation (e.g. you do the washing up, and I'll do it next time, not, I'll wash up, and you can dry them and put stuff away, and next time we can swap roles etc.).

But for anyone that is in a position to work with someone else, I think it's a good place to start regarding household chores.

It's a very good point, actually. I hadn't considered it that way. I don't live with my partner but when she comes to stay, she does help me with stuff. Often she'll wash and I'll dry because I get awful cramp in my hands washing up. A nasty combination of dyspraxia and hypermobility, I think! But yeah she does help when she's here, but I really struggle when she's not.

allesandro
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by allesandro » Sat May 26, 2018 12:52 am

I think one could literally spend every moment cleaning, scrubbing, washing clothes, etc. I recently had to take a couple of weeks to care for my mother and literally could not keep up with any of it. She does a much better job than I do and she's 90. Next time instead of dyspraxia, I'm going to request that I get OCD for something that makes me compulsively neat and clean.

SarahTheScout
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by SarahTheScout » Wed May 30, 2018 5:43 pm

allesandro wrote:I think one could literally spend every moment cleaning, scrubbing, washing clothes, etc. I recently had to take a couple of weeks to care for my mother and literally could not keep up with any of it. She does a much better job than I do and she's 90. Next time instead of dyspraxia, I'm going to request that I get OCD for something that makes me compulsively neat and clean.
:lol: :lol: The worst combination would be dyspraxia and OCD! I was diagnosed with OCD traits several years ago (it doesn't affect me so badly now) and it wasn't much fun!

allesandro
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by allesandro » Thu May 31, 2018 10:41 am

well, maybe just not having dyspraxia would be good enough

Carlyr
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by Carlyr » Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:29 pm

Dispraxic and OCD is not a good combination I have dispraxic and my partner has OCD as you can imagine we fight a lot. I don't know how we are still togethet. His OCD is not as bad now as it was but I still do ever thing wrong in his eyes he dose not understand he thinks I am lazy and selfish but I work so hard to only get half my jobs done he dose not understand how I take 20 mins to do a 5 min job (i don't know it just dose)

Tom fod
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by Tom fod » Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:56 pm

Welcome

I would almost be inclined to say I have OCD leanings in terms of I want things to be just so. I like the idea of order but chaos reigns supreme in my flat.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Wish90
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by Wish90 » Thu Mar 07, 2019 6:35 pm

I find it hard but for me I just do a little at a time. As for organising things I have found watching Marie Kondo's tidying up very helpful. My wardrobe is much better now and it makes easier when putting laundry away and the thought of it overwhelms me less. Having said this, I still often end up with a massive pile...
What a pain.

Wish90
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by Wish90 » Thu Mar 07, 2019 6:38 pm

Also forgot to say, yes I agree it's impossible for me to put things away straight away!! Who can remember that!?? My colleagues and husband despair at me for not being able to do this ](*,)

Carlyr
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Re: Looking after a house!

Post by Carlyr » Thu Mar 07, 2019 8:45 pm

My bf keeps say if you tide up as you go it would not get in a mess. Easyer said than done x

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