I'm a 24 year old woman, who lives in the UK. I'm married and have a young daughter. I've known for awhile I was different and while in high school the SENCO suggested I may have either Autism or Dyspraxia/Dyslexia unfortunately my dad (who I now have no contact with) decided he didn't want me officially diagnosed and so I struggled on.
I was bullied throughout school for various things (I'll talk about this later). I always thought I had Autism as I know a lot of the traits can be similar, although I wasn't classic "autisitic" I just assumed I was undiagnosed. I tried to get a diagnoses before I fell pregnant a few years ago but my GP assured me I was not autistic. I continued to feel different to my friends and the man who is now my husband.
I stumbled upon the Dypraxia Foundation a few months ago through a friend who has a Dyspraxia diagnosis, and both my husband and I feel this maybe a more appropriate diagnosis for me. I am using this post and this forum to gather my thoughts with a view to going for a diagnosis. I will say, my husband is a lovely man, although I may not make him sound like one below. We joke and laugh about my symptoms and possible diagnosis as a way of coping. He in no way would laugh/insult/upset deliberately anyone with a diagnosis or who suspected they were dyspraxic.
I am happy for comments to be made if people feel this is the wrong diagnosis/place for me or for comments on anything about my post in general.
Symptoms:
- Poor Balance - I really struggle with walking, I cannot walk in a straight line. My daughters young enough to still need a pushchair, and although I find it easier to walk when pushing the pushchair, I do struggle to push it up hills, even a slight gradient I find I'm arms outstretched head down pushing as hard as I can. My husband makes a joke of this, but I'm actually pretty embarrassed.
- Poor Posture and Fatigue - My husband says I complain if I stand up for too long, and I do feel tired if I'm walking or standing for long periods. I am asthmatic and put it down to that but realised I can't stand still for ages, I pace when on the phone or when holding my daughter, then sit down for ages afterwards as I feel tired.
- Poor Hand eye co-ordination - I do have eye problems due to a squint in my right eye which affects my periferal vision, and I wear glasses. But I cannot catch anything and I'm prone to not "recieving" objects when they're given to me, so they end up on the floor, it's almost like I misjudge where the object is and it gets dropped.
I've struggled with learning to drive, I just can't seem to be able to look everywhere I need to. I gave up as I felt it was too hard.
- Clumsy Gait and Movement - My husband says I walk very "clumisly", I drag my feet and "plod" in his word. He says it appears walking takes a lot of effort even though I'm not 93!
I frequently (at least 2-3 times a day) walk into door frames/handles and furniture even if it's been there all the time I've known the place it's in. I'm often covered in bruises from tripping over rugs/tables/thin air. If I run I flap my arms like I'm trying to take off.
- Manual Dexterity - I cannot wash up; if I hold a plate in one hand and a sponge in another my hands feel heavy so I do the bare minimum before putting the plate on the drainer, I often miss specks of food. I also struggle with ironing in similar vain. Although I enjoy both tasks.
- Manipulative Skills and Grasp - I hold my pen/pencil in a fist sort of grip so my handwriting is wonky, I write a lot of words to a line and I write so small. My arm gets tired. My signature never looks the same, and it can cause problems with using my bank cards and cheques due to this.
I struggle with putting keys into a lock, I have to try multiple times before I get it right. I struggle to turn keys in locks and have been locked out before. I have a fear of being locked out, particularly if my daughters inside the house.
- Talking continuously and repeating self - I talk A LOT. My husband switches off because I say the same thing over and over and over again. I get fixated on a topic and talk about it. I try to fill silences with talk. I also struggle with volume; I am often speaking loudly without realising it. I have trouble pronouncing some words e.g. I pronounce specific as pacific and am often tempted to write or type it that way. I avoid saying certain words as I don't like how they feel when I say them "moist" being a good one. Even without interruption I frequently forget what I am saying and pause or stutter for sometimes a few minutes trying to remember, if I can describe it a different way I do e.g. if I forget the word "bike" i might say "ride it outside" and the listener has to guess what I'm trying to say, but if I can't describe it I'll often say I've forgotten halting the conversation.
- Tracking - If i'm reading, after a few minutes I will lose track of where I'm reading and then lose the flow of the story.
- Sensitive to noise - I can't be watching TV and listening if my daughters crying at the same time. I have to pause/mute the TV then listen. I am often "jumpy" so if I'm concerntrating on something and someone walks into or out of the room it can make me jump. The cat meowing when I'm not doing anything can make me jump too.
- Sensitive to touch - I don't like people in my personal space unless I've invited them (husband/daughter excluded as I trust and know them) I hate being hugged or touched particularly if I haven't known the person long or I've met them again after a period of time away from them.
- Sensitive to Temperature and Pain - I am either too hot or too cold, never just right. Pain seems to last ages, a blister for example can be painful for 3-4 days after the initial injury.
- Lack of Awareness and Space - I frequently trip over the cat, over my daughter, over thin air. I bump into things (see Clumsy and Gait above), I stub my toes daily. I bang my head several times a week.
- Little sense of time - I am either very early or late for things. By early I'm usually 30mins or so early as I hate being late. If I'm likely to be late I often will just not turn up due to being embarrassed.
When cooking I often misjudge timings and either under cook or burn food (I've burnt pasta before now) my husband does most of the cooking so I don't injury myself, make myself ill or worse.
- Poor Sense of Direction - I have to have L and R written on my hands when I know I'm going to use right or left. I frequently get mine and my daughters shoes the wrong way round (my daughters 14mnths old and she knows which shoe goes on which foot
). If you ask me which way is north on a map or compass then I'd turn it round until you told me because I just don't know. My husband uses up, down, left and right instead when we're using them.- Poor Short Memory - You can ask me something and 2 minutes later I've forgotten you asked me. I frequently put my phone/keys/purse down and forget where they are, even if I use a regular place I put them I still forget where that place is. I will make lists of things to do/buy etc and forget to check my list. I often forget appointments. My new iphone has helped with this as it reminds me, but before I was all over the place. I still forget to put things in my phone so forget what I'm supposed to be doing. I've lost friendships because of my forgetfulness. I forget names unless I use them regularly.
- Unfocused and Erratic - I get distracted when trying to tidy things by anything; music playing, texts/phonecalls etc. I am ashamed of the fact my flat is an absolute tip, but every time I try and tidy I just make the mess worse. This is the thing my husband finds most annoying, as my side of our bed is piled high with clothes and used tissues. I worry about where to put things, so just put things anywhere, particularly in other peoples houses and spaces.
I have depression, so have good and bad days. But on my bad days I can buy things that I don't need just because i deserve them in my head.
- Difficultly in following instructions - I need to be told to do things step-by-step, if you bombard me with everything at once I get confused and can't follow often making the situation worse.
- Difficulty concentrating - I watch TV for 10mins then do something else, because I struggle to concentrate. Then end up unable to follow what's going on anyway. Similarly with reading above.
- Slow to finish a task - I know I get distracted easily, I will often put things off until the very last minute as I know I then don't have time to daydream/faff about with my phone.
- Difficulty listening to people - I inturpt a lot according to my husband, I cut across him. I can lose whats going on in a conversation if theres more than 2 people taking part.
- Slow to adapt to new situations - I try to avoid going to places I've never been before. I feel uncomfortable when around people I've never met before. When planning my wedding I did everything via email as I hate using phones. I struggle with tone of voice, and can't use a jokey/lighthearted tone myself.
- Impulsive - I am very impatient, and do not wait for anything if it's something I want or feel I should have. I've gotten better since my daughter was born but I am still impulsive when buying things. I love the feeling I get when I buy things that I want such as clothes. Often feel I deserve a reward for minor achievements.
- Tend to get stress, depressed and anxious - I am a worrier. I was once told if I had nothing to worry about I'd worry about that. I get worried about my daughter when comparing her to her peers despite her having difficulties and known delays. I get upset easily and worry that I've upset people when I've not said or done anything. I panic if someone criticizes me and will sometimes leave situations I am finding difficult or stressful.
- Diffiuclty sleeping - My mind races as I try to fall asleep and I worry about everything and everyone I care about.
- Low Self-Esteem - I'm not good at anything, I'm not talented, I'm not creative, I'm not a good mum. If someone praises or compliments me I can get worried they're saying it just for the sake of saying something.
These are the symptoms I think I match and how I feel I match them.