Friendships at work

[lillehpie]

Hiya, I am dyspraxic and dyslexic and generally a bit of an oddball at the best of times. Since school I have felt deeply that there was something different about me to other people. I feel that other people have this social filter in their brain that says 'don't say that' or 'this person seems like bad news' or 'in this situation you should say this' and that my filter got lost in the post.

It could be me feeling this and it being not the case to everyone else but I've found these feelings coming back since starting my new job.

The people I work with are mostly female and so there is a lot of bitchiness. In an ideal world I would totally remove myself from that and not get involved...

However, maybe it's because I feel different or anxious or maybe I'm an idiot but I find myself joining in!! I haven't been there long and I know that me passing my opinion on people that I barely know so openly to my colleagues doesn't make me look nice. The worst part is that as soon as I've said it I instantly regret it, and vow to stop, but the more I think about it and say to myself 'don't say that!' The worse it gets!

Either that or I find myself talking about the worst stuff, like personal things about me that i don't want anyone to know. I struggle to think of things to say, and instead of sitting there quietly and keeping my head down my mouth runs away with itself!!

I find I'm an awful judge of character too, the friends and boyfriends I have had are all bad news. Everyone else around me can see it or warns me to stay away but I find it difficult to accept what they're saying.

Is this dyspraxia or is this just me being socially challenged?

Answers on a postcard

[Tom fod]

Hi and welcome

Never an easy thing, I'm sure lots of people have voiced an opinion only to wish they hadn't because it was conveyed back to whoever it was about or misinterpreted and/or misreported. You are aware that this could happen and people probably stay stuff about you some of which you wouldn't want to hear said because it is inaccurate or plain wrong.

You naturally want to contribute to discussions and feel part of the team but you're conscious that some stuff is bitchy and sometimes find you've said too much about yourself that you wish you hadn't volunteered. Sometimes it's better to not be involved and go and make a drink/do some filing or whatever if it's just nasty rumours and backbiting or you might say, really is that true, I'm sure X would not have done that, she's not like that to my knowledge.

Hope this is in some way helpful. However, please note I'm a bloke so may not have as good a grasp on the realities/practicalities of this This is human nature but often something we dyspraxics tend to find difficult as being different ourselves we often have more empathy for the targets of any gossip.