Ok, I'm a guy looking for advice, but please don't call me a jerk or anything. I know some peers with "hot" looking girlfriends. Do you think they are automatically jerks too? And, I know not all "hot" looking girls are automatically mean and sassy, awful people.
Anyway, I have a girlfriend, but the problem is that I just don't find her very desirable physically and I'm having a hard time caring for our relationship. I wish I can be like that confident guy who has an attractive-looking girlfriend. Even my cousin's girlfriend who's considered "average" looking is more attractive to me physically. People call me a jerk and shallow, and they don't know what they are talking about. I think it should be the other way around, like how would women feel if they were in that position? I also think I have no chances than my peers because of my dyspraxia. Is that going to destroy my chances for a beautiful attractive-looking female?
Will I ever get to have a "hot" girlfriend if I have dyspraxia?
Moderator: Moderator Team
Re: Will I ever get to have a "hot" girlfriend if I have dyspraxia?
I`m sorry but if you judge your current girlfriend merely on how she looks you need to be honest now and tell her so she can find someone who loves her for who she is.
Dyspraxia or not, your attitude does suck and it is just as likely that this is why supermodels are not queuing up to date you!
Dyspraxia or not, your attitude does suck and it is just as likely that this is why supermodels are not queuing up to date you!
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Re: Will I ever get to have a "hot" girlfriend if I have dyspraxia?
I'm sorry, but I just get this crazy "girl envy" sometimes and I can't imagine how looks can't play any part at all. Aren't they just as important as personality though?
How do you think I need to change my attitude?
How do you think I need to change my attitude?
Re: Will I ever get to have a "hot" girlfriend if I have dyspraxia?
There`s no denying that looks are important but it works both ways and she has to find you attractive too.
It is also more than likely she`ll compare you to her friends`partners and with other guys she knows.
Her friends and family will also have some degree of influence on her choice and might hear of or know your current girlfriend. You`ll be judged on a variety of factors like actions and attitude as well as looks, career prospects, personality etc so at least try to treat people how you want to be treated yourself.
It is also more than likely she`ll compare you to her friends`partners and with other guys she knows.
Her friends and family will also have some degree of influence on her choice and might hear of or know your current girlfriend. You`ll be judged on a variety of factors like actions and attitude as well as looks, career prospects, personality etc so at least try to treat people how you want to be treated yourself.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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JamesAnthony91
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- Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:43 pm
Re: Will I ever get to have a "hot" girlfriend if I have dyspraxia?
I have been called out on this for being blunt before, but I'm certain most on the forum are like "what even" after reading this. *facepalm* Yes, you can have a hot girlfriend if you have Dyspraxia, there are people who don't have legs who have hot girlfriends, if you drop a glass on the floor, or maybe simply burn your hand pouring tea, I'm not certain a girl's animal instincts will make her look for a more desirable "mate." It is true, women are more judgemental when it comes to attraction, they HAVE to be, their biological role is to choose the best genetic material to mix with her own and carry for nine months(give or take a month.) It depends on what means success at the time. Nowadays, high income jobs and competitive behaviour will be as attractive as owning more cattle/more land and being militarily competitive(at one point that's how land was taken, rather than through an estate agent.) That aside, looks shouldn't matter. I've been with girls typically considered hot: soft skin, pouty lips, great eyes, etc. I have also fallen in love with a girl's personality even when she wasn't initially attractive to me, and after I fell in love, she was the most attractive person in the world to me, no other girl could compare with someone a man is in love with. I initially thought she was "kind of cute", sure, but when you're in love: she's perfect, and you hunger for her, body and soul. That's love. You don't love your girlfriend, and you sound like a rather...shallow person, if you're not just attempting to troll, because your post was cringe inducing. Break up with the girl, she can do better than you.
Dyspraxia or not, acting like that is very "beta", and when people with Dyspraxia act "beta", outsiders will think we're all like that, and you can't be having fantasies about your buddy's girlfriend. Off limits! You know the type of guy that lusts after a friend's girl? Raj from Big Bang Theory. Don't be Raj. I'd end a friendship with someone like you: you lack honour. You have a duty to your friends, and it's crappy to lead a girl on, so, don't do that. I don't usually tell people to change, but, you need to change, you need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. That's all I'll say to you on this forum, you're obviously welcome to post so you should feel okay, but you're doing a crappy thing to that girl and to your friends.
Dyspraxia or not, acting like that is very "beta", and when people with Dyspraxia act "beta", outsiders will think we're all like that, and you can't be having fantasies about your buddy's girlfriend. Off limits! You know the type of guy that lusts after a friend's girl? Raj from Big Bang Theory. Don't be Raj. I'd end a friendship with someone like you: you lack honour. You have a duty to your friends, and it's crappy to lead a girl on, so, don't do that. I don't usually tell people to change, but, you need to change, you need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. That's all I'll say to you on this forum, you're obviously welcome to post so you should feel okay, but you're doing a crappy thing to that girl and to your friends.
Last edited by JamesAnthony91 on Mon Feb 01, 2016 5:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Will I ever get to have a "hot" girlfriend if I have dyspraxia?
The feeling that I get is that your current girl friend is someone that you like as a friend but is not right for you as a romantic partner.
However, before I can give you any useful advice, I need you to answer the following questions.
Even if you aren't willing to answer these questions on this public forum, it might be useful for you to contemplate them in private.
1, How long have you been going out with your current girl friend?
2. Why did you decide to go out with her in the first place?
3. Do you like her as a person even if you don't feel that attracted to her?
Before I go, I would like to tackle the subject of 'hotness'. I would say that only a small proportion (for arguments sake about 10%) of people of either gender in this imperfect world are 'hot'. On the whole, 'hot' women tend to want and get 'hot' men and vice versa.
Of course there are numerous exceptions to this general rule. In my experience, if an ordinary looking person manages to date a 'hot' person he/she usually has some special feature that makes up for their average looks. This special feature could be charisma, success, physical strength, a strong character, or a beautiful singing voice, just to name a few.
On the other hand, I have known some less than 'hot' individuals gain a 'hot' partner because the 'hot' person wants to 'use' the other person in some way. I remember a handsome fellow who married a plain looking woman because she was from a rich family. But within three years, he had cheated on her three times. Therefore, having a 'hot' partner does not guarantee happiness.
Perhaps rather than worrying about getting, a 'hot' woman, think about what traits that you can develop to be desirable to all people, (including 'hot' women). In other words, follow Einstein's advice of "Aiming to be of value rather than aiming to be a success."
However, before I can give you any useful advice, I need you to answer the following questions.
Even if you aren't willing to answer these questions on this public forum, it might be useful for you to contemplate them in private.
1, How long have you been going out with your current girl friend?
2. Why did you decide to go out with her in the first place?
3. Do you like her as a person even if you don't feel that attracted to her?
Before I go, I would like to tackle the subject of 'hotness'. I would say that only a small proportion (for arguments sake about 10%) of people of either gender in this imperfect world are 'hot'. On the whole, 'hot' women tend to want and get 'hot' men and vice versa.
Of course there are numerous exceptions to this general rule. In my experience, if an ordinary looking person manages to date a 'hot' person he/she usually has some special feature that makes up for their average looks. This special feature could be charisma, success, physical strength, a strong character, or a beautiful singing voice, just to name a few.
On the other hand, I have known some less than 'hot' individuals gain a 'hot' partner because the 'hot' person wants to 'use' the other person in some way. I remember a handsome fellow who married a plain looking woman because she was from a rich family. But within three years, he had cheated on her three times. Therefore, having a 'hot' partner does not guarantee happiness.
Perhaps rather than worrying about getting, a 'hot' woman, think about what traits that you can develop to be desirable to all people, (including 'hot' women). In other words, follow Einstein's advice of "Aiming to be of value rather than aiming to be a success."
Re: Will I ever get to have a "hot" girlfriend if I have dyspraxia?
Well ofcourse bueaty is in the eye of the beholder but if it's movie poster looks you're looking for then I think you are barking up the wrong tree. It's a massively unrealistic aspiration for anyone really not least because movie poster looks are enhanced by 'photo' editing software and such forth.
So you're not physically attracted to your girlfriend? Are you attracted to her in any sense of the word? Because if not then to be in a so called relationship (for the sake of being in a relationship) is quite disrespectful (I hate that word).
It's quite annoying to be honest, there are many members on this forum (not least the world) who desire to have a relationship very much yet struggle extensively to attract anyone at all. And then there's people like you who don't seem to appreciate the relationships you actually do have and take having a partner for granted.
I wonder if your girlfriend thinks to herself 'oh I wish I had a hotter boyfriend' ?
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I think the comments JamesAnthony91 makes on attraction are interesting because it's kind of true you know. I honesty don't think we choose who we're attracted to its all down to chemistry in our brains. When you fall in love with someone they suddenly become the most beautiful person in the world and even quirks which you would find annoying in anyone else become wonderfully endearing.
I really do believe that a person's personality influences how you visually perceive them. There's a woman who I'm helpless attracted to. Now, she probably isn't going to be on the front cover of vogue or make a career on the catwalk. But it's her personality which won me over and now in my eyes she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
So you're not physically attracted to your girlfriend? Are you attracted to her in any sense of the word? Because if not then to be in a so called relationship (for the sake of being in a relationship) is quite disrespectful (I hate that word).
It's quite annoying to be honest, there are many members on this forum (not least the world) who desire to have a relationship very much yet struggle extensively to attract anyone at all. And then there's people like you who don't seem to appreciate the relationships you actually do have and take having a partner for granted.
I wonder if your girlfriend thinks to herself 'oh I wish I had a hotter boyfriend' ?
***
I think the comments JamesAnthony91 makes on attraction are interesting because it's kind of true you know. I honesty don't think we choose who we're attracted to its all down to chemistry in our brains. When you fall in love with someone they suddenly become the most beautiful person in the world and even quirks which you would find annoying in anyone else become wonderfully endearing.
I really do believe that a person's personality influences how you visually perceive them. There's a woman who I'm helpless attracted to. Now, she probably isn't going to be on the front cover of vogue or make a career on the catwalk. But it's her personality which won me over and now in my eyes she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore”
That's amore”
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fearthecuteness
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Re: Will I ever get to have a "hot" girlfriend if I have dyspraxia?
I feel bad for your girlfriend. I hope she finds someone who deserves her. 
Re: Will I ever get to have a "hot" girlfriend if I have dyspraxia?
Thats a rude way of putting it and offensive lad, sorry too say but with tom i agree. and need to work on your behavoir traits before u comment or say stuff like that. Cuz u meant it, so why would u say you don't mean too?? . Anyways dont want to harp on ya , but please label just you not dyspraxics on that question, cuz no excuse, cuz everything u say or do will reflect back at you in a relationship. Both individauls are like mirrors reflections that one another will see being a couple.