I have very poor posture and during my time at high school people would make fun of me behind my back because of how I would walk or run. They even made fun of me because of how I would talk about the same things a lot, somewhat repeating the same things a lot. Even now I will say something to someone and quite often they will reply with "Yeah, you've told me that before". Due to things like this I ended up with no friends in high school. Because of this reason and because I've always fell behind at school I gave up even trying and ended up with a lot of Ds and Es in my GCSEs. I was also never any good at any kind of sports and I think the hardest sports for me were ones involving jumping and I can't jump far or high (I litterally couldn't do a single hurdle for example). My mum actually took me to a GP to see if I could be diagnosed with it but they never diagnosed me. Although that was when I was quite young (about 6 maybe) and I've heard it's hard to diagnose young children.
I have always been terrible with arriving places in time and my parents always nagged at me growing up for "having no conecpt of time". This has always got me into trouble whenever I've worked somewhere. Working has always been hard for me too. My first job was at a factory. I quit after one day because of how repeitive it was and my brain couldn't handle it at all. With my next job I could never get all of my work finished in time (due to distraction again) and I got demoted to a job there with less hours and less to do. The job after that I found really difficult for the fact I was on my feet constatly. I worked there for nine months and still couldn't get used to being on my feet all day. I was also suffering from depression at the time so I took a lot of sick days off. When the boss called me in for an assessment I found it too difficult to talk to him about face to face so I got my sister to write a letter about it and I gave that to him. I got my sister to write it out for me because I've never been any good at expressing myself, especially when it comes to emotions. There's a lot of times too where I'm just saying a simple sentence and I will slightly mispronounce a few words or mumble without realising which makes me hard to understand sometimes. Another problem I also have with work is following even simple instructions. Most of the time when people will give me instructions to do something I haven't done before I usually have to go back and ask them to repeat everything again.
I am now 25 and living at home with my partner and my five year old son. I find a lot of adult life difficult because I find things like everyday tasks pretty difficult. Because of this I can never seem to keep my flat clean which can get me feeling very anxious (among other things). My partner also comes back from work and gets annoyed because I haven't done anything all day. I always plan to get this place tidy but something ends up happening like I get distracted or I just don't have enough time (I'm pretty slow at doing things). Even when I do get this place tidy it actually looks more like an organised mess then anything. I also get stressed out easily with little things and will end up shouting at my son quite a bit which I hate doing! Even when we were moving to this place we had to set back the moving date another week because I was finding packing too stressful. I find it hard to cook too. I can just about do ready meals but with my lack of concept of time things end up burnt sometimes. I've tried making my own food before but I found even the easy recipes hard to follow.
If you took the time to read all that then I'm so sorry it was so long but I really appreciate you reading all of that. As you can see, I've spent pretty much my whole life trying to find myself since I've never belonged with the "normal people". I just really wanna find out where I belong. I hope that maybe if I do have dyspraxia then it might actually help me find ways to cope with my daily life too. I also want to hopefully go to college to retake my english and maths GCSEs so it can help me find a new job easier.
So what are your opinions on this. I would really love some advice.