hello everyone,
I am now 29 and just literally a month ago I realised I maybe dyspraxic. This came out when I've faced major difficulties whilst learning to drive.
Then I read a lot of articles, did some test on-line and now I finally feel relieved. I have told my employer, and my driver instructor, but they do not seem to believe as I normally learn things quickly and they consider me quite intelligent person, just sometimes being a bit silly. My friends even think I am just pretending for fun!!!
not yet officially diagnosed but already struggling
Moderator: Moderator Team
not yet officially diagnosed but already struggling
Last edited by aurum on Sat Jul 04, 2015 6:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sometimes, real superheroes live in the hearts of small children fighting big battles.
Re: not yet officially diagnosed but already struggling
Hi Aurum and welcome
Unfortunately people seem to link Dyspraxia with a lack of intelligence. That really is not the case! Just because we might sometimes struggle to get the right words out in an understandable form doesn't mean we are incapable of rational thought. Far from it.
Dyspraxia is ostensibly a lifelong condition from birth and whilst it is generally spotted at school age, this is not always so. It seems to be a diagnosis of last resort and the 'label' itself can be limiting.
It sounds like the coping strategies you had developed are not working so well for you now, add into this the stresses and pressure you are under and I can completely understand why you're struggling.
You haven't been specific about where you are, but irrespective of that, I don't know the degree to which dyspraxia (sometimes known as DCD) is recognised where you are and even then finding dyspraxia specific help and assistance may be a struggle.
You mentioned you had some coping strategies such as triple checking things etc. Whilst these are very much your business it may be worthwhile explaining the memory problems and that you have your own coping strategies and you put a lot of effort in and need your employer to be understanding about this and clear about instructions and have an open door policy and/or mentor so that you can learn your new job in your own style and might have difficulties at times.
Sometimes the amount we take on and try to juggle can be too much and we try to be strong and not ask for help for fear we will be seen as incompetent or whatever. Admitting we are struggling is not always easy but if an employer is worthwhile and takes their duty of care seriously they will want to employ us and help us develop for mutual benefit.
Please feel free to question anything have written here. Hope this helps
Unfortunately people seem to link Dyspraxia with a lack of intelligence. That really is not the case! Just because we might sometimes struggle to get the right words out in an understandable form doesn't mean we are incapable of rational thought. Far from it.
Dyspraxia is ostensibly a lifelong condition from birth and whilst it is generally spotted at school age, this is not always so. It seems to be a diagnosis of last resort and the 'label' itself can be limiting.
It sounds like the coping strategies you had developed are not working so well for you now, add into this the stresses and pressure you are under and I can completely understand why you're struggling.
You haven't been specific about where you are, but irrespective of that, I don't know the degree to which dyspraxia (sometimes known as DCD) is recognised where you are and even then finding dyspraxia specific help and assistance may be a struggle.
You mentioned you had some coping strategies such as triple checking things etc. Whilst these are very much your business it may be worthwhile explaining the memory problems and that you have your own coping strategies and you put a lot of effort in and need your employer to be understanding about this and clear about instructions and have an open door policy and/or mentor so that you can learn your new job in your own style and might have difficulties at times.
Sometimes the amount we take on and try to juggle can be too much and we try to be strong and not ask for help for fear we will be seen as incompetent or whatever. Admitting we are struggling is not always easy but if an employer is worthwhile and takes their duty of care seriously they will want to employ us and help us develop for mutual benefit.
Please feel free to question anything have written here. Hope this helps
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Re: not yet officially diagnosed but already struggling
Thank you very much Tom.
I would like to thank for accepting me into this forum, its really good to know there are more people like me. Not knowing whats wrong with me was killing me
I would like to thank for accepting me into this forum, its really good to know there are more people like me. Not knowing whats wrong with me was killing me
Last edited by aurum on Sat Jul 04, 2015 6:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sometimes, real superheroes live in the hearts of small children fighting big battles.
Re: not yet officially diagnosed but already struggling
Hi again
You're welcome. More detail is good as it helps me in what I suggest. I`m on holiday at present so replying using my phone so not going to be as detailed. Assume your spell checker replaced dyspraxia with dyslexia. They often do.
Since you're UK based the following may help
The Dyspraxia Foundation have a helpline and website. (details can be found in various posts on these forums too). There is a useful guide for employers you or they could download as a pdf entitled Dyspraxia a hidden asset.
Whilst you don't yet have a formal diagnosis your employer should be aware that by treating you less favourably/not making reasonable adjustments they could potentially be found to be breaking the law. (The Equality Act). You may need to persuade your manager to seek advice from your employers HR Dept.
You're welcome. More detail is good as it helps me in what I suggest. I`m on holiday at present so replying using my phone so not going to be as detailed. Assume your spell checker replaced dyspraxia with dyslexia. They often do.
Since you're UK based the following may help
The Dyspraxia Foundation have a helpline and website. (details can be found in various posts on these forums too). There is a useful guide for employers you or they could download as a pdf entitled Dyspraxia a hidden asset.
Whilst you don't yet have a formal diagnosis your employer should be aware that by treating you less favourably/not making reasonable adjustments they could potentially be found to be breaking the law. (The Equality Act). You may need to persuade your manager to seek advice from your employers HR Dept.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Re: not yet officially diagnosed but already struggling
Hi Aurum
I really feel for you, as I can relate to a lot of what you say. I always think the most frustrating thing about dyspraxia and these type of issues is that it's hard getting people to believe you struggle. Since I've found out I've got dyspraxia two years ago (I'm 46 now) my life is better, and at least I know now from this forum that there are other people like me. I now work with people with learning disabilities and can empathise a lot with their frustrations.
Dyspraxia is a strange thing in a way because I always had neat handwriting and played the piano, yet I struggled to tie shoe laces, ride a bike (I can balance now but don't go out on the road as I can't manage the hand signals without falling off!), also was always losing things. Yet I used to come top of my class in English and languages. it affects people differently. I had no idea about sports.
It took me three years to learn to drive, but I think there are specialist driving schools that can support people with dyspraxia, autism, etc, so I think I would have learned better if I'd known at the time about it. We just think in a different way, and I found because I do things in words in my head, rather than just learning intuitively, I used to try to talk myself through all the procedures of a practical task like driving, which didn't entirely work! I do drive now, although don't like motorways, but the other year I drove back from France because my husband had a seizure while on holiday (luckily he is OK now but didn't drive for a year).
The Dyspraxia Foundation are really good. I'd also recommend some books: "Coping with Dyspraxia" by Jill Eckersley, "Caged in Chaos" by Victoria Biggs and "Where's my pen?" by Sarah Johns. Sometimes the Dyspraxia Foundation has a local group in your area.
It has been a relief to talk to people who understand, so I hope you get as much out of this forum as I do. Sometimes it is a case of finding the right job. Just because some don't work out, doesn't mean there isn't something for you. I worked for years doing admin and secretarial work, which I did OK if I had set procedures to follow. Then after my daughter was born I worked in pre-school, although I loved the children, I really struggled with practical tasks like the kitchen duties - cutting up fruit and veg, washing up, which all had to be done quickly! I now work in a small department of a college, and support people one to one with Maths, English, etc. It has certainly given me a lot of patience, having dyspraxia!
Good luck with everything. It is hard when people don't believe you and criticise. Try to stay calm and show them some of the literature if necessary.
Nicky
I really feel for you, as I can relate to a lot of what you say. I always think the most frustrating thing about dyspraxia and these type of issues is that it's hard getting people to believe you struggle. Since I've found out I've got dyspraxia two years ago (I'm 46 now) my life is better, and at least I know now from this forum that there are other people like me. I now work with people with learning disabilities and can empathise a lot with their frustrations.
Dyspraxia is a strange thing in a way because I always had neat handwriting and played the piano, yet I struggled to tie shoe laces, ride a bike (I can balance now but don't go out on the road as I can't manage the hand signals without falling off!), also was always losing things. Yet I used to come top of my class in English and languages. it affects people differently. I had no idea about sports.
It took me three years to learn to drive, but I think there are specialist driving schools that can support people with dyspraxia, autism, etc, so I think I would have learned better if I'd known at the time about it. We just think in a different way, and I found because I do things in words in my head, rather than just learning intuitively, I used to try to talk myself through all the procedures of a practical task like driving, which didn't entirely work! I do drive now, although don't like motorways, but the other year I drove back from France because my husband had a seizure while on holiday (luckily he is OK now but didn't drive for a year).
The Dyspraxia Foundation are really good. I'd also recommend some books: "Coping with Dyspraxia" by Jill Eckersley, "Caged in Chaos" by Victoria Biggs and "Where's my pen?" by Sarah Johns. Sometimes the Dyspraxia Foundation has a local group in your area.
It has been a relief to talk to people who understand, so I hope you get as much out of this forum as I do. Sometimes it is a case of finding the right job. Just because some don't work out, doesn't mean there isn't something for you. I worked for years doing admin and secretarial work, which I did OK if I had set procedures to follow. Then after my daughter was born I worked in pre-school, although I loved the children, I really struggled with practical tasks like the kitchen duties - cutting up fruit and veg, washing up, which all had to be done quickly! I now work in a small department of a college, and support people one to one with Maths, English, etc. It has certainly given me a lot of patience, having dyspraxia!
Good luck with everything. It is hard when people don't believe you and criticise. Try to stay calm and show them some of the literature if necessary.
Nicky
Re: not yet officially diagnosed but already struggling
Thank you for all support and really nice words.
Oh driving is another story. This was the first thing I have noticed. I had couple theory tests, some I didnt show up, some failed, one already expired. My driving instructor seemed to be very experienced, but strangely enough he never come across such thing.
Oh driving is another story. This was the first thing I have noticed. I had couple theory tests, some I didnt show up, some failed, one already expired. My driving instructor seemed to be very experienced, but strangely enough he never come across such thing.
Last edited by aurum on Sat Jul 04, 2015 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sometimes, real superheroes live in the hearts of small children fighting big battles.
Re: not yet officially diagnosed but already struggling
I do feel better now after putting all this out.
Really sorry for such a long introduction.
Really sorry for such a long introduction.
Sometimes, real superheroes live in the hearts of small children fighting big battles.
Re: not yet officially diagnosed but already struggling
Please feel free to post as much as you want. Getting it out can help you to focus better so you can start to try and make some sense.
Often we have a tendency to set impossibly hard/unrealistic expectations of ourselves and beat ourselves up for not achieving.
It is worth taking some printed info as not all GPs are read up on dyspraxia. Counselling such as CBT or Mindfulness could also be suggested as an alternative to or to complemenr anti-depressents.
Often we have a tendency to set impossibly hard/unrealistic expectations of ourselves and beat ourselves up for not achieving.
It is worth taking some printed info as not all GPs are read up on dyspraxia. Counselling such as CBT or Mindfulness could also be suggested as an alternative to or to complemenr anti-depressents.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)