Worried about jobs

[:) xx]

I don't know what to do anymore..

I am currently at Uni in London. I used to have really bad anxiety and then I plucked up the courage to go to thailand and I got a lot of confidence. When I came back, I tried a silver service waitressing job and I just couldn't do it, I was called stupid etc and now I feel like I'm useless and I isolate myself from friends at Uni because I know I'm not " normal " like them.

I am quite deppressed. I have never been assessed for dyspraxia but I have one next week. I highly suspect I have it quite badly.

I have had so many jobs and have been rubbish at all of them apart from a call centre and a caring job that took me ages to learn how to do. When I've worked in a shop I just act really awkward because I panic when I feel people are watching me. I don't know if this is normal, but when I'm in a job or new situation I get so nervous and shy in front of everyone and It takes me so long to get to know people.

I really need a job but I'm frightened to even apply to them now. I don't want to be at uni now, just want a career I can stick with for a long time, but I have no idea what to do.

[Tom fod]

So many of us here can relate to what you've posted and the misery is palpable. Please bear in mind normal is a subjective term and whilst you feel completely alone and fearful there are many of us dyspraxic or non dyspraxic who have found themselves feeling just as bad. Please do ask for help and counselling from your GP and/or the university. What are you studying and what is it you hope/want to do?

You might choose to take the view that you can appear 'normal' as your coping strategies do work and your dyspraxia has previously gone undetected. I was equally directionless at 18 and not aware of my sometimes strong dyspraxic tendencies I just thought I was stupid and useless. it took me a long while to find a job as I (and still am) reliant on buses due to my visual impairment and all I had on my cv was a day trying to help as relief on a milk round. I never got invited back after the first day. I didn't move out of home until I was 38 or go travelling much before I was 25. I went on a lot of trips with my parents. At no point has it been easy though it has improved a lot though I do have bad days and I'm still looking for a soulmate.

Expect and prepare for the worst and will have some nice surprises. I hope you're assessment goes well be open and honest about your fears and difficulties, but remember to pat yourself on the back for your achievements, you'll wear yourself beating yourself up for your failures and setbacks (although it is one thing we are often very adept at.)

Sending you a big hug