Worried About My Future

[Mcewan90]

Hey guys

I work as a support worker and I am still on probation, the last few jobs I have had every manager has said the same thing that I am slow,make silly mistakes, lack confidence, and not making any progress. I had a chat with my manger the other day and he is saying the exact same thing as every manager I have had. I told them at my interview that I had dyspraxia so I was a little upset with this. I know some people are able to hide their dyspraxia but I cant, it really stands out especially in the workplace. I have a very high level of dyspraxia and I find working very difficult no matter what the job is so I am very worried about my future if there comes a time when I am unable to work, where do I stand with this?. Every job I have had I am very slow at learning and always make silly mistakes which really frustrates managers. I just want to know where I stand if I am unable to work because I find simple tasks difficult and most managers will not put the time in for extra training or shadow shifts.

Thanks

[Tom fod]

It seems to often come down to the argument of 'how much is reasonable'. Having a supportive and relaxed working environment where you (and everyone else) are not judged unfairly for small mistakes which can be put right you can hopefully build more confidence and this will pay dividends. People who have dyspraxia and/or dyslexia tend to have a 'spiky profile in that there are some things we are able to do very well and others where we really struggle and forcing us to keep trying is not wise or productive in the long run.

The other difficulty is change. We cannot avoid it but sometimes it is introduced without proper regard for what and who it will affect. I find I like familiarity but I need to be able to clearly see that what I am asked to do has a point and is worthwhile. If somewhere has a process I'll soon find the holes, pitfalls and exceptions to those rules!

[moleyface1991]

Recently I started a new job I was so happy it was my first paid job and I thought they were really nice bunch, a few weeks in and there have been mistakes which they say are so simple that I should be good at it and not to make these mistakes, everything seems like 10 times harder than it does for other people. I have to do cleaning and mirrors are a pain, when I make a mistake I feel so bad and end up getting upset, then just to day I was told by a colleague that she wanted to do my responsibilties because I was too slow and too negligent, But despite that being proably true lets me be honest I have revealed my diagnosis and feel a bit angered with people lack of compassion to people being a bit different and most importanly 'SLOW'.

[sp17]

I feel you exactly. Im currently in my first full time job and got diagnosed a few months after i got the job and although its been a year and past my probation period I still put extra pressure on me just to fit in.

I can achieve things people think i couldn't do but lil things like repetition i can struggle with and i hate myself for it :/ The team has been made aware of it when i got diagnosed but no awareness training has been undertaken yet so they just look at me at times and think wth but are a good bunch maybe too nice to say it to my face.

I keep thinking sooner or later if things stay same il just quit but id be very silly to

[Samuel.eats.grass]

I have been told something similar in a previous role which I found out really didn't suit me. It was door to door sales so I had to walk around all day which damaged my weak ankles due to low muscle tone, I didn't make the sales quota as a result. My sales did improve though after I was able to write down the instructions that I had to follow instead of someone calling it out to me and me forgetting it a few minutes later. What I would suggest is to evaluate what your strengths are (because you do have strengths!) and find work which plays to these strengths. Don't become over conscious about your dyspraxia either because it can hold you back from doing things that you actually are able to do. I found myself alienated because I had dyspraxia by some other members of the team as it was a competitive environment and tried to edge me out of it because of it. As another poster has said it is all about how much is reasonable accommodation.

Please don't become disheartened though, it will work out in the end, find roles which play to your strengths and move forward positively, don't let the past weigh you down.

[pappleyard]

I have had a fair few jobs in the past. All have ended badly. I got accused of being lazy and slow. In the end for all the trying to remain positive it gets to you in the end. There is only so much put downs a person can deal with.

Now I work as a house husband and enthusiast photographer. Keeping the house clean and tidy and doing the shopping plus looking after my daughter suits me perfectly. What I find really helps and in fact was the main reason for my passing my BA(hons) was using the voice recognition on my iPhone to makes notes or write essays etc. I Also used the smart phone for making point by point to do lists of daily activities. This helps to keep me focused on what I should be doing. One example I list all my day to day things I need to do such as clothes washing or emptying the compost. It seems silly but it really helps me a lot and I would be stuck without it.

People still accuse me of being lazy for not having a paid job but at least Im happy with what I am doing. Also, my wife is really happy because she is a talented person with lots of ambitions and me being a house keeper and looking after our daughter frees her up to do all the things she wants to do.

[nickye]

Hi Philip

I'm really sorry to hear people accuse you of being lazy. If us housewives/house husbands were paid the going rate for housekeeping, cleaning, childcare etc I'm sure we'd earn quite a bit if money! Although I don't see why people should be measured in terms of what money they earn and supporting someone else, whether male or female, and bringing up a child is a very important role. I think there is a lot of sexism in this, why shouldn't men be bringing up children and not feel they have to justify themselves?

Mind you, I lack confidence and get worried by what people say so I don't always take my own advice!

I'm glad you mentioned the phone and lists because I think I'll go back to this as I often forget to do things in the house. I just don't see what needs doing and it's not laziness I sometimes get overwhelmed. I find when I make a detailed list and work through it this is much better. I. Trying not to beat myself up that I can't always do things as quickly as other people.

I actually find staying at work is often harder than work, as at work as a secretary things were set up for me and I knew what to do and when more or less. At home it is open ended and more practical. I now work two days a week term time with learning disabilities students. My daughter if 12 now. It is the best of both worlds really, and I work next door to her school which is very lucky!

I hope you find this website as helpful as I do. It is brilliant to know there are other people who understand what sort of problems we have.

By the way I had a look At your photography website you mentioned in another post. The photos are brilliant Nd that will be a great thing to fit in with your daughter. Perhaps you could go on a course for running a small business to learn about the financial side?

Good luck with that and try not to worry what other people say (although I must remember to take my own advice!)

Nicky