Being called dumb?
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itskatieee
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Being called dumb?
Hello, I'm new to this site but I'm Katie, 14 years old and was diagnosed with Dyspraxia at the age of 3. I feel like my teachers, friends, classmates and even parents think I'm dumb. I know I'm not dumb and consider myself pretty intelligent but people are always bringing me down telling me I won't be able to go to college or do anything with my life. I have a very hard time concentrating and often get lost in a conversation or class. Sounds and people talking always distract me too. I'm always unorganized; the papers I turn in are always crumpled with sloppy handwriting. It takes me 10x longer to study then everyone else because I forget things so much and it really frustrates me when people in my classes don't study and can get an A while I studied for an hour and got a C. It just really sucks feeling like I'm dumb all the time when I know I'm not I just have a hard time showing that I'm smart in school. None of my teachers are understanding of my Dyspraxia when I have tried to talk to them about it they just tell me to get used it. I wish people were more aware of Dypspraxia and understanding of it. I hate feeling like I'm dumb all the time at school.
Re: Being called dumb?
Hi Katieee
I was called dumb all through school there were some really nasty people I had to deal with unfortunately so I have been in a very simular sitchuation. It has taken me until now, at the age of 30 to start accepting myself and realise that it was them who had the problem not me. The difference is I had no idea what dyspraxia was at the time and it was not as common as it is now. So I just assumed I was dumb because everyone, exactly in the way you have pointed out, made me feel that I would never be good at anything. This has caused me to have very low self esteem over the years since. I have only just started to make friends and believe that I can actually achieve things. Made me lack confidance in myself and abilities.
What you have to remember is that you are not dumb and that these people are very narrow minded to not even attempt to have any understanding of your condition. From reading this forum its becoming very apparant to me that this is a condition that is greatly misunderstood. Like yourself, I believe I am intelligent but it can take me longer to learn new skills that are not something I am used to and part of my usual routine. I struggle to adjust to changes and people get really impatient when I dont pick things up at the speed they want me to.
Also remember that school grades are not everything. This was one of the things that used to annoy me at school. People in my class were obsessed with comparing their grades to mine and used it as a means to determine how intelligent they were. You may find that you have other talents and there will be some activities that you are naturally good at outside of school and just because you have some problems remembering things and organising this does not mean you are dumb.
I was called dumb all through school there were some really nasty people I had to deal with unfortunately so I have been in a very simular sitchuation. It has taken me until now, at the age of 30 to start accepting myself and realise that it was them who had the problem not me. The difference is I had no idea what dyspraxia was at the time and it was not as common as it is now. So I just assumed I was dumb because everyone, exactly in the way you have pointed out, made me feel that I would never be good at anything. This has caused me to have very low self esteem over the years since. I have only just started to make friends and believe that I can actually achieve things. Made me lack confidance in myself and abilities.
What you have to remember is that you are not dumb and that these people are very narrow minded to not even attempt to have any understanding of your condition. From reading this forum its becoming very apparant to me that this is a condition that is greatly misunderstood. Like yourself, I believe I am intelligent but it can take me longer to learn new skills that are not something I am used to and part of my usual routine. I struggle to adjust to changes and people get really impatient when I dont pick things up at the speed they want me to.
Also remember that school grades are not everything. This was one of the things that used to annoy me at school. People in my class were obsessed with comparing their grades to mine and used it as a means to determine how intelligent they were. You may find that you have other talents and there will be some activities that you are naturally good at outside of school and just because you have some problems remembering things and organising this does not mean you are dumb.
Re: Being called dumb?
Hi Katieee
Welcome. I find I'm perfectly capable of being impatient and down on myself. Other people being that way is not wanted or required!
Your post reminds me of my own experiences with school, the crumpled papers and being told to tuck my shirt in etc. It certainly is hard work but we're well used to it and we have to be given leeway to find our own way of doing things. Keep up the effort and try not to feel too put down by other peoples ignorance and lack of empathy.
I'm not sure if you're aware but there's also a Dyspraxic teens site. http://www.dyspraxicteens.org.uk/forum/
It might be more useful? However sometimes i guess it's good to get a perspective from older and wiser types.
Take care!
Welcome. I find I'm perfectly capable of being impatient and down on myself. Other people being that way is not wanted or required!
Your post reminds me of my own experiences with school, the crumpled papers and being told to tuck my shirt in etc. It certainly is hard work but we're well used to it and we have to be given leeway to find our own way of doing things. Keep up the effort and try not to feel too put down by other peoples ignorance and lack of empathy.
I'm not sure if you're aware but there's also a Dyspraxic teens site. http://www.dyspraxicteens.org.uk/forum/
It might be more useful? However sometimes i guess it's good to get a perspective from older and wiser types.
Take care!
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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Captain_Ludd
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Re: Being called dumb?
Hi Katie,
Your not dumb you just learn and think differently to other people and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
If other people cant understand that then its their issue not yours, the way I see it is this; the only true idiot is some one who doesn't want to learn not some who finds it difficult to learn something.
When people call you dumb all they are really doing is proving there own willful ignorance of your condition and the work you have to do to deal with it making them the idiots.
You also say you feel like all these people are judging you to be dumb are you sure they think your dumb ? Or could there be a certain amount of you projecting your own feelings on to others because of self esteem issues ? I could be wrong though its just a thought.
Your not dumb you just learn and think differently to other people and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
If other people cant understand that then its their issue not yours, the way I see it is this; the only true idiot is some one who doesn't want to learn not some who finds it difficult to learn something.
When people call you dumb all they are really doing is proving there own willful ignorance of your condition and the work you have to do to deal with it making them the idiots.
You also say you feel like all these people are judging you to be dumb are you sure they think your dumb ? Or could there be a certain amount of you projecting your own feelings on to others because of self esteem issues ? I could be wrong though its just a thought.
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BeatrixPlotter
- Getting settled in
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- Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:59 pm
Re: Being called dumb?
Hi Katiee,
I understand where you're coming from. When I was at school I assumed I must be stupid because I couldn't keep up with everybody else. Noise was a huge distraction for me too, and it took me years to pick up skills such as tying laces or riding a bike. I wasn't even considered to be dyspraxic till last year (I'm 28 now), so I spent a long time just thinking I was thick.
The problem is, the world's only set up for a certain type of person. If you're that type of person, life is manageable for you. If you're not, like people who are dyspraxic, then others can assume you're just stupid or lazy, without considering the fact you're putting in twice as much effort to keep up with everybody else.
please don't think you're stupid, because you're not. Your brain just works differently, that's all.
I understand where you're coming from. When I was at school I assumed I must be stupid because I couldn't keep up with everybody else. Noise was a huge distraction for me too, and it took me years to pick up skills such as tying laces or riding a bike. I wasn't even considered to be dyspraxic till last year (I'm 28 now), so I spent a long time just thinking I was thick.
The problem is, the world's only set up for a certain type of person. If you're that type of person, life is manageable for you. If you're not, like people who are dyspraxic, then others can assume you're just stupid or lazy, without considering the fact you're putting in twice as much effort to keep up with everybody else.
please don't think you're stupid, because you're not. Your brain just works differently, that's all.
Re: Being called dumb?
Hi Katie,
I'm not saying your dyspraxia isn't also a problem, but everything you've described in this particular post as a cause of your academic struggle, is a symptom of ADHD (predominantly inattentive type), not dyspraxia. I'm diagnosed with ADHD and probably have dyspraxia as well (about half of us do). Unfortunately, in this country a lot of professionals seem to be ignoring the fact that their dyspraxic clients meet the criteria for ADHD. I don't know whether it's genuine ignorance of the condition, a deliberate policy to save the NHS money on ADHD medication (which backfires as most of us in adulthood develop stress-induced mental illnesses when unmedicated), or because of stigma against ADHD and its treatment options. At first, someone tried to refer me to be assessed for dyspraxia even though the symptoms I was complaining about the most were of ADHD. Even where one condition is clearly more severe, I'm a big believer that it's in your best interest to be diagnosed with both if you meet the criteria for both.
I'd consider seeking a dual diagnosis (to be diagnosed with both) if I were you, because I tell you as someone who went through compulsory education with no diagnosis or medication and is now putting most neurotypicals to shame at university and proving that I'm the opposite of stupid or unmotivated, it feels really good when you can finally show your true potential. If you have ADHD that will only happen if you can get ADHD medication and if you're lucky enough to be someone it works for (it works for most). Every high grade I get feels like a smack in the face to every rude, smug educational administrator, probably a lot less intelligent than me, who ever tried to make me feel guilty or worried about my future because of losing or forgetting things.
I'm not saying your dyspraxia isn't also a problem, but everything you've described in this particular post as a cause of your academic struggle, is a symptom of ADHD (predominantly inattentive type), not dyspraxia. I'm diagnosed with ADHD and probably have dyspraxia as well (about half of us do). Unfortunately, in this country a lot of professionals seem to be ignoring the fact that their dyspraxic clients meet the criteria for ADHD. I don't know whether it's genuine ignorance of the condition, a deliberate policy to save the NHS money on ADHD medication (which backfires as most of us in adulthood develop stress-induced mental illnesses when unmedicated), or because of stigma against ADHD and its treatment options. At first, someone tried to refer me to be assessed for dyspraxia even though the symptoms I was complaining about the most were of ADHD. Even where one condition is clearly more severe, I'm a big believer that it's in your best interest to be diagnosed with both if you meet the criteria for both.
I'd consider seeking a dual diagnosis (to be diagnosed with both) if I were you, because I tell you as someone who went through compulsory education with no diagnosis or medication and is now putting most neurotypicals to shame at university and proving that I'm the opposite of stupid or unmotivated, it feels really good when you can finally show your true potential. If you have ADHD that will only happen if you can get ADHD medication and if you're lucky enough to be someone it works for (it works for most). Every high grade I get feels like a smack in the face to every rude, smug educational administrator, probably a lot less intelligent than me, who ever tried to make me feel guilty or worried about my future because of losing or forgetting things.
Re: Being called dumb?
Katie.
You are certainly not DUMB in the slightest, by the way you have "posted". You have to ask yourself " Would you have been so "Dumb" to have posted that "Barack Obama was the British President". These "Dumb" people are also the type who are likely to call you all kind of names they do this to hide how "Dumb" they are
Katie. The school have a duty to support you though your Schools SENCO and they get Extra funding from the Government to enable you to achieve the "High Academic Potential" that your post has shown you obviously have.
Your Mum needs to write two letters one to the Head of your school and the Governors , another letter to the local Education Authority, asking them to show how the extra funding they receive is being used. Your Mum should also inform the school , that you think some of your teachers are "Either Unaware or Dismissive " of your disability , and need to be made aware they are not doing their best for your Education.
Good Luck..
You are certainly not DUMB in the slightest, by the way you have "posted". You have to ask yourself " Would you have been so "Dumb" to have posted that "Barack Obama was the British President". These "Dumb" people are also the type who are likely to call you all kind of names they do this to hide how "Dumb" they are
Katie. The school have a duty to support you though your Schools SENCO and they get Extra funding from the Government to enable you to achieve the "High Academic Potential" that your post has shown you obviously have.
Your Mum needs to write two letters one to the Head of your school and the Governors , another letter to the local Education Authority, asking them to show how the extra funding they receive is being used. Your Mum should also inform the school , that you think some of your teachers are "Either Unaware or Dismissive " of your disability , and need to be made aware they are not doing their best for your Education.
Good Luck..
Re: Being called dumb?
Katie.
You are certainly not DUMB in the slightest, by the way you have "posted". You have to ask yourself " Would you have been so "Dumb" to have posted that "Barack Obama was the British President". These "Dumb" people are also the type who are likely to call you all kind of names they do this to hide how "Dumb" they are
Katie. The school have a duty to support you though your Schools SENCO and they get Extra funding from the Government to enable you to achieve the "High Academic Potential" that your post has shown you obviously have.
Your Mum needs to write two letters one to the Head of your school and the Governors , another letter to the local Education Authority, asking them to show how the extra funding they receive is being used. Your Mum should also inform the school , that you think some of your teachers are "Either Unaware or Dismissive " of your disability , and need to be made aware they are not doing their best for your Education.
Good Luck..
You are certainly not DUMB in the slightest, by the way you have "posted". You have to ask yourself " Would you have been so "Dumb" to have posted that "Barack Obama was the British President". These "Dumb" people are also the type who are likely to call you all kind of names they do this to hide how "Dumb" they are
Katie. The school have a duty to support you though your Schools SENCO and they get Extra funding from the Government to enable you to achieve the "High Academic Potential" that your post has shown you obviously have.
Your Mum needs to write two letters one to the Head of your school and the Governors , another letter to the local Education Authority, asking them to show how the extra funding they receive is being used. Your Mum should also inform the school , that you think some of your teachers are "Either Unaware or Dismissive " of your disability , and need to be made aware they are not doing their best for your Education.
Good Luck..