Nasty people.

[cj254]

Hello again,

I had a few occurrences of feeling really down today, but one thing was the icing on the cake.
I had a text from a bit of a ignorant happy-go-lucky friend, who doesn't understand what dyspraxia means when I try to explain it to him....

But anyway yeah, the basic gist of it was "I was in the gym today and ran into some people who said 'are you a carer', that guy we've seen you around with, are you his carer"? Now all my life, I've had people throw insults and abuse at me, calling me things like "retard" in school, so much so, I just believed I was inferior. I battled through it in college and university and eventually attained self-respect again. Now after this and my ex-girlfriend finishing me for a variety of reasons including "being too awkward and anal (I'm talking in terms of planning and scheduling things, not anything else haha)". I get to thinking, maybe this isn't a "development condition", it's a disability. It doesn't really stop me doing anything, but it does affect the way I do things. What if...I don't think I'm disabled, but other people see this awkward, clumsy guy and think "he's got something up with him", I don't want pity, I want to be treated just like a normal person...have normal relationships, see and do exciting things, have hopes and dreams, but all of this has gotten me feeling really down today. What does everyone else think regarding this?

Apologies if any of my language or wording of this post came across as crass or ignorant, I'm not the way inclined I just had to explain what people were saying to me.

Much love,

Callum.

[Tom fod]

Hi Callum

Some people's stupidity and lack of sensitivity make me mad! It's depressing.

Dyspraxia can just as much become a disability because of just such attitudes. It's a shame your friend didn't stand up for you when he was spoken to by these idiots who truly can be defined as crass and ignorant.

She don't deserve you.

[Wayward]

Sorry to hear you had to deal with that. It's not nice for anyone to feel inferior like that, and I don't like the attitude that so many people seem to take to anyone they place in the pidgeon hole of 'special'. There's a lot of ignorance out there, but at the end of the day we just have to try to rise above it and help people become more aware.

[Tim G]

we have all had times in the same situation - it is not right and is out of order when people treat you like that
dyspraxicia is really a dysablitie - I know it may not seam like that at time and a lot of people don't think it is but it really is.

You don't need your ex if she is treating you like that - hopefully you can get away from it quickly.

[Jim]

I don't like the attitude that so many people seem to take to anyone they place in the pidgeon hole of 'special'.

I think society has this knack of inferring certain words with added levels of tone and derogotary insurinations.

The way many people use the descriptive term "special" has almost become a bit like the mob in the play ground going "eurrrgh he's GAAAAAAY!!"

It's vulgar, not to mention ignorant and completely inaccurate. And it does belay a person considers themselves somehow superior to person they've lacked.

It's quite ironic really... Because people who do that end up being incredibly shallow and narrow minded.

[Mopps]

Very sorry this reply is late I have just come across your post.
I have Dyspraxia,Dyslexia ,and Dyiscalcula. I am sorry that people have spoken to you in this way.
Non Dyspraxics do not really understand what we Dyspraxics have to go through.and some don't even take the time to read up about it so they could learn a bit more about it and then they would know we are not thick or stupid. It is a condition people are born with or some maybe have what is called aquired Dyspraxia which can happen if someone has an accident of some sort they can get it.one of my non Dyspraxic friends said to me once. You might not even have it then she said your always looking for something to be wrong with you.(not true) and another time she said to me it is not that you can't do things, but you just don't try. Well of course that is untrue we Dyspraxics try very hard just our brain has to work harder than a person without Dyspraxia. That friend had never seen me in my room late at night tears streaming down my face struggling to do something and not getting on very well. Sometimes non Dyspraxics can be very Insensitive I think ,and uncaring.Saying that I have a very good friend from Primary school days we have kept up the contact and she is wonderfully supportive and Encouraging an we get on great. She knows I try my very best to do things but she also knows I struggle at times and is always there for me well, we are just there for each other. I would say stick with those who want to help and encourage you and there are those out there who though they may not be Dyspraxic or what ever, they will be happy to help support and be your friend. This is a good forum because I feel on it that is what people are trying to do helping and supporting each other.
Mopsy

[neil f]

Hi
Just been diagnosed recently myself, had a conversation recently with one of my best friends about it and my depression and memory problems causing me trouble at work. To which he replied stop using it as an excuse and that i was always trying to get the easy way out with things. This really hurt me as it was untrue! so we started arguing causing me storm out to which my friend replied if that's how you feel don't come back . After a few minutes outside and calming down i decided i didn't want to leave it like that so went back to try to explain to be met with a frosty reception which caused me to breakdown & cry & hyperventilate at which point my friend said calm down and he didn't realize things were so bad and he apologized

[Tim G]

Its a shame your friend dident see or understand the way you feel - often if people haven't experienced things like it then they arnt going to understand.
At least he realized that things are bad for you even if it was a bad process of him realizing.