Help with 18 year old son

[HTFC]

Please help. I have an 18 year old son who I strongly suspect has dyspraxia. He shows all the classic symptoms and did when he was younger. I have never really worried too much as I accepted it was just him. I have never wanted to give him the label of dyspaxia as I've never seen it as particularly helpful.

However he has recently started an apprentice and within 4 weeks he's been sacked. This was due to him being unable to listen and follow instructions on how to learn new skills, despite being shown repeatedly. He had been struggling and did not make us aware so it was a big shock when he came home devastated.

Now I'm wondering where we go from here. Do we get a diagnosis? Would it be helpful? Or would it hinder his ability to get another apprentice? How do we even get a diagnosis? If he had a diagnosis would it help his self esteem to realised there is a reason he finds things hard.

As a family we are not in a good place and would welcome advice and your experiences. He is very emotionally withdrawn at times and never socialises with his friends other than over a computer and he easily gets depressed and has very low self esteem.

Thank you in advance.

[Jim]

Hi.

I really wouldn't worry about applying a "label" as he's going to display any symptoms he may have with or without the "label".

Getting a diagnosis will probably be an uphill battle, the best bet is probably taking all your research on the matter to your GP and asking to be referred to the relevant Psychologists and Occupational Therapists.

If you do get some help and a diagnosis it may actually have the effect of explaining a lot to him and to yourself. At least you'll know.. and then you can begin learning about it all and gaining the insight on how things affect him and how to cope, how to build coping mechanisms and strategy.

[joy]

I think it would have been much easier to get a diagnosis when he was at school and getting a referral to a Child Development Centre in your area.It is a lot harder once you have left school and depending on your Doctor whether they take you seriously or not ,some Doctors are not even sure what Dyspraxia is as well as some Neurologists who refuse to believe there is such a thing.
As keeping it from a employer depending on what job you are doing only makes things worse, because the same thing will happen in the next job and he probably will end up getting sacked again.There are firms that will take people on who have learning disability and depending how your son would feel disclosing this information .Being unable to follow written or verbal instructions follows you around wherever you go as well as a short term memory so if you are told to get on with several things before they have finished telling you what to do you have already forgotten the first thing they said so you need to be told constantly,which will annoy some employers and frustrate you because you cant seem to get it right.
Many people see Dyspraxia as a balance and coordination disorder but forget the Psychological aspect side it can lead to Depression,General Anxiety Disorder,Panic Attacks ,Agoraphobia ,frustration, ADD,ADHD ,Low self esteem and social isolation to name just a few.
If your son could get a Diagnosis at least he would be able to understand why he is the way he is and is not alone, as for being labelled it is what it is and Dyspraxia is nothing too be ashamed of .

[Tom fod]

Hi Sorry to hear of your son's experience. What is is his take on this?

I appreciate your concerns about his being labelled and suspect he is equally certain to be in fear of it too. However it can provide additional protection and better compel an employer to fulfil a duty of care in providing reasonable adjustment in order to maximise and benefit from the potential of your son as an employee.

In the event of GP referral not going as well another possibility might be the Employment Service. Yeah bad things have been said about it, but you may be fortunate.

As other's have said diagnosis can and does have positives. He/you should not necessarily consider it to be an absolute barrier as whilst a good degree of acceptance is useful it is still very possible to exceed expectations despite a learning difference.

I'd encourage your son to join the forum, when he is ready and, if necessary, we could remove your post first.

[ALADDIN]

I am sorry to hear,that your son has dyspraxia. I would not worry about dyspraxia, I think 10% of the population have dyspraxia. See http://www.dyspraxiausa.org

I knew that I had dyspraxia in 2002, I had a diagnosis of aspergers traits/borderline asperger syndrome in 2004, but I real and only problem is dyspraxia, I learned about dyspraxia in 2008, I received my diagnosios of dyspraxia, privately in 2012, because the N.H.S would not diagnose or support dyspraxia, especially adult dyspraxia. Part of the problem is dyspraxia is poorly and weakly supported.

Ideally, he should a diagnosis with post-diagnostic support. A diagnosis explains his strengths, weakness and any remedies/coping strategies. Your son, may get diagnosed with dyslexia, AD(H)D. An organisation such as http://www.geniuswithin.co.uk/.

In work, if you declare your dyspraxia and the company sacks your son, your son can technically sue the company. The company may be more supportive. On an application firm, declaring dyspraxia may help in the application process. When more people are diagnosed with dyspraxia, more people in our society will understand dyspraxia, awareness and support will improve as a result.

[screengreen]

Recently spoke to access to work and the job centres employ occupational psychologists, which he may be able to access as he does not have a job, especially if he thinks it will be a barrier to getting and keeping another apprenticeship. good luck