Being honest at work

[GenuineAndJosh]

I did something at work a couple days ago which I'm so proud off and wanted to share my story with likeminded people wh might be in the same boat as me and see if it might inspire anyone. Despite I have accepted I have Dyspaxia and I know how to live and cope with and what my strengths and weaknesses are, I was scared of being honest about it at work and was hoping I would'nt have to say anything as I was afraid everyone at work would look at me or treat me differently and would get judgemental.
I work as a full time kitchen assistant at a business that consits of a pub, farm shop, b&b and a brewery, I work in both the pub kitchen and farm shop kitchen and like the way my job is diverse and I've been working there for a couple months now. My cluminess isn't as bad as it was while I was at school and college but I do have my clumsly moments from time to time, my social skills have improved a good deal since college. My short term memory can be pretty bad from time to time, however I do work very hard, so organised and thorough, and like to keep myself busy despite feeling ever so worn out when work day is finally over.
Ever since I started my new job, the people I work with are very friendly and helpful, but they just like to joke with each other a lot and I don't understand jokes, despite I do try too. So when they do jokes with me, I dont know whether they're being serious or whether they're joking, after telling them my serious honets answer, they tell me a few mins later they were joking and it makes me feel bad. On a particular day, one of the head waiters came into the kicthen and said I was talking a bit loud, I dont mean to be and don't know if I am talking loudly unless someone says something, as she was trying to take orders and can only hear me talking away. I was angry with myself as I hate the way I do that but then a bit later on, she came back into the kitchen and said she was only teasing, that made me feel so down for the rest of my shift, I just dont like it when people do that sort of thing with me.
As the jokes were becoming so frequent and I wanted it to stop, I was considering talking to one of the chefs I work with and is a boss about my condition, not to gain sympathy or to be treated differently, only purely just to get him to understand and to know to go a bit easier on the joke wise. I tried telling him last week, I said one day I wanted to have a private word with him and he said that was fine, however due to our busy shifts and is the last thing on our minds after a long hard day at work, we didnt get a chance. However a couple days ago, I was working with him and another staff member in the pub kitchen, I asked him about his career path and he asked me the same question back when he told me his story, and when I mentioned to him about what I'm hoping to do in the near future, which is to be a teaching assistant to children with our condition or something similar, I ended up telling my boss and the other staff member about my condition and told them the whole story while working at the same time. They both listened to me throughout the whole time and were interested, didnt look at me differently, and they could see my point of view by the time I finished and were very accepting of my condition. I felt so massively relieved when I told them, right out of the blue while I was actually working, had to be pne of my proudest moments as to say something like that while you're working it takes guts and courage.
So basically, my word of advice to people who are or are currently through what I went through before telling work the truth about my condition, if your condition does affect you in some way while you're working and how the other staff members see you, if there is a desire in you in wanting to tell them the truth to make work more easier for you, go for it!

[Tom fod]

Hi Josh

it's really nice to hear a positive story as I know many of us are often very concerned about how other people will react to disclosure. I think we often have a tendency to expect the worst but often people can actually surprise us in a positive way too.

I too have a habit of taking things too literally too and can feel similarly annoyed with myself about it.

I hope you realise your dream of working with young people with dyspraxia and can tell them the story you've just told. We can appear inept to some but we make up for that by being reliable and hard working.

All the Best

[GenuineAndJosh]

Hi Tom

Thank you so very much for your thoughtful words about my positive story regarding disclosure and about my dream of working with young people with Dyspraxia and other learning difficulties, it really means so very much to me and so much appreciated. It's also my absolute pleasure being able to share one of my positive stories with other likeminded people.

It's completely understandable about why so many of us are very concerned about how other people will react to disclosure as I do hate to say it, you do come across a lot of judgemental people and I've definately had my fair share of those but in the end you cant let them get to you and they're the ones who have a problem and not us. However, as you pointed out, there are people out there too that can surprise us in a positive way and many not react the way you think they're going to which is why loads of us are worried regarding disclosure.

All the best back to you as well,

Josh

[screengreen]

just wanted to say well done Josh, and to say I hope that you do realise your dream good luck

[GenuineAndJosh]

That really means a lot to me Screengreen, thank you so very much.

[Lucyletitia]

Be honest at work yet bring out the positives of the negatives.

[Gina Trent]

Hi Josh, its nice to have read your post. It makes me feel better that im not the only one. I got a job nearly 3 years ago in a care home(kitchen assistant and cleaner), and as it was a care home, I thought it would be a nice environment but I was so wrong. (When I walked in for application form I didnt like the atmosphere) In a way it felt like being back at school, with people looking and wispering woundering 'who's that', and probbly talking about me behind my back. There were some young 'uns that had come straight out of school when I first started and would of avoided em like the plague...noone made me feel welcome, or even tried...I just felt so out of place and I am not good at conversation and probbly come across awkward, and people tend to think I am younger than I am because I am quiet and not confident. I also think people have the impression that if you are quiet, you don't know much...anyway it took me 6 months to settle in and that's only because another kitchen assistant started and she made an effort to talk to me and because she gets on with the rest of them, they saw that she talkes to me, then It all changed, I feel like I fit in better and I am better at conversation, although because I've got comfortable, I do go on a bit and don't know when to stop talking, and it makes me feel like I come across stupid or thick, and then I say, right Im gonna shut up now, and then after a bit I forget I've said it, then start talking again.. I do wounder if people can tell If im different because I dont get jokes and I can't tell when people are joking or not, and just in general how I act and Im clumsy. Sometime I make them laugh with stuff I come out with, which is fine, but sometimes when people are having a joke I can't tell if there taking mick in a joke or acting like like they are joking but taking mick to be serious. Its hard to tell. Sometimes I think, oh perhaps I could tell this person that I have dyspraxia, and then when they are with other people I think, hmmm no best not.