Any advice welcomed!

[Alice1]

I just wanted to post to see if anyone has any advice on if I should try to get a diagnosis. As a child my mum (a teacher) often thought i was dyspraxic. I struggled a lot with spacial awareness, randomly falling over for no reason (tripping over my own feet) and falling off chairs etc. I defiantly found ballet and dancing helpful and do it a lot less now although still occasionally find myself too close to the front door and fall backwards off the step. Although i feel i have mastered (at 25!) moving my own body around recently i have started driving lessons and controlling and moving the car around objects baffles me! I also struggle with changing gear and keeping the wheel straight to the startled cries of my driving instructor. As a child i really struggled with learning spellings and still use my fingers to do times tables. I can find all of this frustrating but feel i have learnt my own ways to deal with them. It is my social relationships that at the moment i am finding really hard. As a child i found it easy to make friends as i often went up to other children and loudly asked 'WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?' and that was that. As a grown up i struggle to find my place in a group, luckily i have an established group of friends from school that i feel comfortable in most of the time. When new people join this group, especially boyfriends I am often either very quiet and wont talk or loudly critical and opinionated. I date and have had boyfriends but struggle to keep them around and was recently asked by one why i was so opinionated. I didnt even realise i had been and was mortified to find that i often loudly state my opinion while other people are trying to speak. I have never wanted to be rude but get very excited when I can contribute to a conversation i know something about even if it is to disagree. Trying to stop myself takes alot of effort and restraint on my part so i revert back to being quiet and saying nothing. I also get very upset when things do not go as i planned in my head, including peoples reactions to me and things i have to say.

Sorry this is so long! I would just like to hear peoples opinions on whether any of these traits might be due to dyspraxia, due to trying to cope with dyspraxia or something else.

Thanks!

[AlleyCat]

I think the things you're talking about where speech is concerned are very common in people with dyspraxia (and people with ADHD, for that matter). It's very difficult to change this, as it is caused by the way the brain processes information. People with dyspraxia can often have a tendency to interrupt, speak loudly etc because something comes to mind that they want to say, and if they don't say it there and then they don't get to say it at all! As I think it isn't something that is easy to change, other people need to be more tolerant of us- it's a real shame that there isn't more general awareness about the symptoms of dyspraxia because, if there was, then we wouldn't have to explain to people why we do things like speak too loudly.

Where driving's concerned, do not be afraid to change instructor if you feel that your instructor just doesn't understand what it's like for you as a learner with dyspraxia. My first instructor was patronising and compared me negatively to a girl from my class at school who was learning with him. There are actually instructors out there who specialise in teaching people with specific needs, but if you can't find one of those at least ask around to find out if there's anyone who's particularly patient. When I was learning, my mother said to me several times that I would 'probably be better driving an automatic' as she drives one herself. However, my main problem was to do with spatial awareness, not the gears, so it wouldn't have made much difference to me if I had changed to an automatic, and I managed to complete my lessons and pass in a manual. For you though, learning in an automatic could well be a good option as you have said that you struggle with changing gears, so you might find it easier if you don't have the gears to think about.

[Captain_Ludd]

Hi Alice,

I cant offer any advice regarding driving (except for good ol' persistence, us dyspraxics are good at that ) because I don't drive myself but with regard to dyspraxia diagnosis it sounds to me very much like you may have dyspraxia or some related ND issue.
It may be an idea to get a diagnosis because if it is at least then you may be able to get some support and you'll have the satisfaction of being able to put a name to it.
You may also be able to get some physio/occupational therapy to help but that's usually only available to people up to 16 for free so you'd probably have to pay.
Unfortunately some of the things you've described are just part being dyspraxic / nd and aren't ever going to go away completely but at least if you know you can make others aware and help mitigate the effects somewhat.

[Princessfairey]

Hi Alice, I am the Mother of a 25 year old Dyspraxic son, after reading your letter I felt I wanted to try to reassure you a little bit, my son struggled greatly with most things at school and out of school, with a lot of support from us ( non whatsoever from anywhere else including school) he has grown and moved his life forward, including passing his driving test with lots of grit and determination!!

He too found friendships and relationships a little hard to make, school always saying that he was insular, always a loner, didn't like groups of friends...... I told them even people without dyspraxia can be like that!!

It's important Alice that you know who you are, Alice with or without Dyspraxia is allowed to be herself and have her own personality, this is what we always taught our son.

However, he is now 25 and seems to have entered a new faze, seems unsure of his life suddenly, is angry again at times, is suffering frustrations with parts of his life and can't seem to understand it.

This is why I have called upon this site, I am trying to get some support again for him, Dyspraxia is an ongoing thing, we must never forget that.

Finally, to answer your question, I would say definitely yes, get a diagnosis, it's important to understand why you sometimes feel the way you do or act the way you do, people will be more understanding towards you then.

Most of all Alice, you stand up for yourself, you are entitled to have a strong opinion LOL but do listen to someone else's , that's just normal. All the best for the future regards Pauline