Conversing through background noise

Nicky · Post by **Nicky** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:15 am

Does anybody else find it a real challenge to stay involved in a conversation when there's lots of background noise? I find it's almost as if I can't differenciate between what I'm meant to be listening to and everything else (a sensory integration issue?). If I'm chatting to only one person I can seem very rude, as if there's background music on, I'll end up listening to that and if there are other conversations going on around us, I'l get overwhelmed and tune into them leaving my poor company trying to get my attention again. If we're in a group, I'll just zone out completely. I get especially frustrated if there's repetative background music on that I dislike, everyone else seems to manage to ignore it, but I can't and seem to get headaches from it. Does anyone else have similar issues?

Ruth · Post by **Ruth** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 12:07 pm

yup.

I think it has shaped my taste in music and venue's . I'm fine , good even in nice quiet pubs (especially if they do a good real ale!) I hate mainstream night clubs mostly because of the repetative music ,instantly headache inducing - i didn't realise the D.J. was deliberatly trying to merge the tunes together so you can't tell one from the other. I like a beginning a middle and an end.

I can do good dance music at low volume but in a club..no! Rock music is my bag especially glamourous indie rock and roll $\:D/$ and the alternative clubs are good for me cos people just want ot have fun/ aren't worried about looking cool etc Great old place in Reading called The After Dark, I like that but I went to the Walkabout recently with a friend and hated it - I couldn't talk to anyone. I know they say when the music is too loud you're too old but really!!?!

Post by **Daniel** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 2:40 pm

I've very often experienced the same as you've described. I'm not great in socialising in groups anyway, but background music leads me to do the very same zoning out, and typically I'll end up outside of all the conversations going on around me and trying to get back into one of them, but hearing bits of everything and not getting anywhere. I think the comment on noticing the music being played in right too; noone else seems to pay much attention but I tend to often make a point of it and get irritated by poor music quite easily. It's as if it invades your concentration at a deeper level than that of others.

For me good company with one or two friends in a nice hostelry with low music just audible above the general background hubbub (which itself is at a normal volume) is ideal for me.

david456 · Post by **david456** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 6:37 pm

I have exactly the same problem, I was trying to talk to someone in a nightclub and it was quite difficult, with the noise and people everywhere.

Nicky · Post by **Nicky** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 9:23 pm

Glad to hear it's not just me. I used to think that I noticed music more than most others because I'm somewhat musical and quite obsessed with it, but recently I've been thinking more and more that it's an attention/sensory integration problem! What do you think?

Creative · Post by **Creative** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:23 am

I suffer from this too. It makes it very hard to concentrate on the current conversation. I seem to hear noises at night which would not bother anyone else. For exmple if a tap was drapping I would have to get up and turn it off. I would not be able to sleep otherwise. At home we used to have a wind chime, but i found this stopped me sleeping. People without Dyspraxia seem to be able to shut these noises out but I find it impossible to and it can make me anxious. I am pleased to know that it is not only me who suffers from this.

BrainThrust · Post by **BrainThrust** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 10:05 am

Come to think of it, I don't think I get it as badly as you guys but then I can remember pleanty of times in a noisy environment (esp nightclubs) where I've had to ask someone to repeat themselves.

I just think that I just have bad hearing though, and I've spent a lot of my time in clubs with my posse of mates now and so maybe there are a lot of times because I've been a lot of times.

Wilf

Greg · Post by **Greg** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 11:15 pm

Aye, I'm terrible for this.

It means I don't go to any of the traditional social venues that most folks around here do and I have a really rubbish time meeting people/making freinds because of it :(

I adapted though. Always do, always will.

Rosel · Post by **Rosel** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 12:46 am

yup, i get this too.
Some times if it is speech radio or tv in teh background, i will say something connected with it and then have to explain to the people im talkingto what i am talking about!

nick · Post by **nick** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 5:05 pm

ditto

sinse being diagnosed i have wondered about, if this was due to dyspraixia or a releated sensory intergratiion problem. i did some reading on SID'''s and can not relate to a lot of what i read about. however, i do feel very dis-at-eased in clubs and gigs and find it hard to get involed in conversations, sort of zoning out and not being able to get involved and think of anything to say. I also noticed the problem of lack of dichotic listenting skills and i am convinced if i was a participant in one of broadbents or triessmens experiments on attention, i would have furnished them with some of their outlying figures. broadbent and triesmman did some research on how people can follow a single conversation in a room full of different conversations.

DaftAda · Post by **DaftAda** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 9:45 am

I've always found it difficult to make out what people say in clubs, although I never realised why before I learnt of Dyspraxia. Trying to make out what people said was nearly impossible and I used to get so embarassed asking people to repeat things several times, in the end I just stopped chatting to people I didn't know. I also have problems with eye contact, it feels really intense to keep looking at someone while they talk to me, i often look away which must seem really rude. I now tend to go to quieter clubs just to avoid embarrasing situations. Thankfully Reading has quite a few 'quieter' drinking establishments so i can still enjoy a night out.

Post by **Daniel** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 6:47 am

At the rate we're going we'll soon have enough members in Reading to start a club or something!

arthmelow · Post by **arthmelow** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:56 pm

Daniel wrote:At the rate we're going we'll soon have enough members in Reading to start a club or something!

it might be because the study advisers at the university are recommending this website... ;-)

As regards the noise thing... YES! all the time! But then I can't concentrate on anything for too long - I kept zoning out while watching the Red Hot Chilli Peppers - so its not related to whether I enjoy it or not!

If I can't pay attention or can't hear properely in a group I zone out. My parents would go nuts about my insistance on having the subtitles on while watching TV ( DVDs weren't big yet ) as well.

If I'm able to pay attention in a group situation I'll often over-step the mark and say something completely inappropiate - once I've done that I usually go quiet out of embarassement.

gherkin001 · Post by **gherkin001** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 8:30 am

I suffer with that all the time, people are lucky if they have to repeat themselves less than 20 times around me!!!!!!!!

Kirsty

Auron · Post by **Auron** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:34 am

I hear ya sister

I get especially frustrated if there's repetative background music on that I dislike

those "dance" tunes where thay get the most annoying moment from the most annoying 80's pop record and loop it over and over and over and over. thay make me physically angry.