Wishing people would see past my difficulties

[rosie]

Since september I have been working in a year 3 class in a local primary school, lovely kids but the staff are very clicky and have there own little groups. Also they're quite bitchy and dont seem understanding especially about anyone who is different to them, they roll their eyes at me if I do anything clumsy or struggle to put up a display or if I make a mess with my food. The other day I was trying to print some work onto card and one piece got stuck and I ended up knocking off part of th e printer. As I was going out I could hear the talking and laughing about me they even went to another teacher and said your printing is late because of her. They're making me feel stupid even though I have a masters degree. Like all of us if I feel under pressure muy difficulties are made worse. I just wish they would see past my dyspraxia/dyslexia and see me because at the moment I feel like ive reverted bac to being a shy teenager who sits in the corner scared to speak. It's really affecting my confidence/ self esteem.

[AlleyCat]

Ignorant cows! I have worked in schools myself, so unfortunately this kind of thing doesn't surprise me. In my opinion adults who behave this way towards adults with 'differences' such as dyspraxia are not fit to be working with children. If they have such a bad attitude towards adults with this, how can they have the best interests at heart of children who have similar difficulties?! Is it both teaching assistants and teachers who are treating you like this or is it just teaching assistants? Your posts makes it seem like it's perhaps just teaching assistants who are acting this way.

they roll their eyes at me if I do anything clumsy or struggle to put up a display or if I make a mess with my food.

They are rolling their eyes at you because of things which are as a direct result of your dyspraxia, therefore they are behaving in a discriminatory way towards you. What you can do about this depends on whether your school already knows you have dyspraxia. If they do know, then you ought to speak to someone higher up in the school about their behaviour- try to find someone you think you can trust, whether it's the head, deputy, assistant head or even someone like the SENCO. It can probably only really be sorted out by someone at the top, though, as unfortunately class teachers often feel awkward about confronting teaching assistants, even when the teaching assistants are clearly in the wrong. When I worked in a special school, I was bitched and gossiped about by other teaching assistants, but I didn't feel comfortable disclosing my dyspraxia as I hadn't disclosed it when I started the job. Rather frustratingly though, I was also treated in a discriminatory way when I worked as a teaching assistant in a secondary school, despite having disclosed dyspraxia at interview! I was spoken to by certain members of staff in a condescending way, as if I was one of the pupils (even sometimes in front of the pupils) and 'told off' by my line manager for 'talking too loud' and 'interrupting', both of which are of course dyspraxic traits. I was leaving that particular job anyway, to complete my PGCE, but if I hadn't been leaving I would have complained to somebody high up at the school about the way I was being treated. It was making me very unhappy, and I would not have accepted continuing to be treated like that.

If you do go to see someone about the way you have been treated, it is important that you remain calm and clearly state what the situation is. You could emphasise how much you enjoy working with the children, but are unhappy that some members of staff are not being understanding of things which you find more difficult as a direct result of your dyspraxia. It is very important that you remember it is not acceptable for the school to say 'well you should be able to put up the displays' or something similar, as legally the school has to make reasonable adjustments for people with disabilities (which includes dyspraxia). Where displays are concerned, this could mean that someone helps you to do it. It might help to take along the Dyspraxia Foundation's excellent guide for employers:

http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/d ... ia_1.0.pdf

Let us know how you get on. I know all too well what it's like to be faced with ignorance from staff in schools, and I want school staff to know that people with dyspraxia have many positive qualities to offer when working with children. Just because we might talk loudly, mess up a display or knock something over, it doesn't mean that we should be excluded from working with children. We can be patient, kind and particularly capable of understanding what it's like for the children who are struggling.

[joy]

I think that this type of behaviour goes on in all types of workplaces my son experiences this and I dont think that many of them are aware of his Dyspraxia .They can be nice to your face but poke fun and try to belittle you because you may not be in their little click.I too found how two faced people can be and I ran the department they didn't know I had Dyspraxia I didn't know myself then so I dont think its because you have Dyspraxia I think its people in general as long as they think their in the click they dont worry how it makes you feel as long as their OK.People like that are not worth bothering about anyway.

[rosie]

Thanks both for your advice, I don't know why schools in general are so bitchy when they're supposed to be helping kids. I've never really as an adult felt like Im that dyspraxic/dyslexic but its made me really paranoid about if it's really obvious. I've always had really low confidence and self esteem etc and it has made it even worse. The school in general arent very good with special needs with kids theres a boy in my class clumsy with awful awful handwriting poor boy and time and time again the teacher compares him to other kids and tells him he can do better. He's just got a pencil grip, annoys me so much.

[AlleyCat]

How awful for that poor boy! When I hear about things like this it makes me so angry, particularly as I'm a qualified teacher and there is no way I would treat a child like that if someone gave me a teaching post. Joy- I think you're right that the clique would be there anyway, but I still think that the way they're behaving towards Rosie is discriminatory. Unfortunately, when people with dyspraxia are placed in an environment with people who have a tendency to be bitchy, more often than not they find themselves being targeted because of things which are directly related to their dyspraxia. Do you think you might be able to do anything about the way other staff are behaving, Rosie? I understood if you're reluctant, as sometimes it can seem difficult to speak up because of the politics of the workplace. My worry is that they might find more and more things to pick on, making you feel really unhappy at work. It is just too easy for nasty people to find things to pick on when a child or adult has dyspraxia- often the only way this behaviour stops is when someone with authority makes it clear that it is unacceptable.