is my boyfriend ready to have a babye

[jade-marie]

Hi my boyfrieend is 23 and dsypracia and im 20 weve onlt been together 4 months but are really happy well we were til about 3 weeks ago i found out im pregnant and since then hes been really moody one minute his fine nect his not and getting angry over silly things and i dont know what to do anymore i love him but dont know how we can get through this

[Jim]

It sounds like this maybe came as a surprise to him and he's a little bit scared of the responsibility.

I wouldn't link it too heavily with the dyspraxia though, I imagine anyone's mood and copping mechanisms are going to be affected by this situation.

The best thing to do is simply sit down and talk. This is a big thing for both of you and it's best you're both open about your concerns now. That way you have time to do something about it before the child is born.

If I were in his situation I'd probably be thinking "damn, my life is going to change, I've got a kid on the way and I've got some growing up to do"

[jade-marie]

Thnx i'll give it a try :-)

[joy]

I would think that only going out with each for four months that he might have thought that it was rather quick to think about having a baby so soon as you have hardly got to no one another.I also think that having dyspraxia makes you not as mature as people of a simalar age who don't have dyspraxia and for both me and my son having a baby at a young age would not have been the wisest thing do.
You need to sit down and talk to him and ask him to be honest with you and ask him how he really feels and whether he resents the fact you are pregnant or he may be feeling trapped as it is so soonfor him to become a father or whether he doesn't want to be a father at all .since you say he's moody it seems to me that he is not being completly
Honest with you or himself and you really need to sort things out and find out were you stand with him as you don't sound to happy with things at the moment and things don't get easier when you have a new born
.good luck

[Tim G]

I think it has clearly come as a shock to both you and him but more him and he is probably really stressed and worried about how he is going to cope.
You have to do some serious talking and thinking about it as this is a massive responasblitie and you have to know he and you will be able to deal with it.

I personaly think that at your age and the time you have been together its not good at all to have a child (however planed or not but thats not my bussniess at all).

Dyspraxicia also brings another set of problems as well. We are more imature and there is the problems with organishion, planning, kinowing whats going on etc etc (the genral set of dyspraxic issues) so this will be somthing that you will have to put into considration when having and being parents to the child.

As I have said before on hear I do not want to have children at all as I know how I am around children (children just make things worse and I can't stand it) I also dont think I have the capablitie to be responasble and be a good parent. Fortunatly I never wanted children anyway so its not somthing I had to make a massive deshion on it was just confirmed to me over time.
Anyway I think that there is a time in everyones life when they really need to think that do they want or could deal with parenting children (illrelvent of being in a relationship, your gender, age or how children will become a part of your life )

Another point - I am not saying that dyspraxics or young people cant make good parents or be good with children it can jut be a lot more diffcult. There are people hear that work in schools and I personaly know dyspraxics that also work in schools and love it and are grate with children but I know how I am and what I want.
You really need to apply the same thought of long term planning of parenting and what you want for yourself and ask him the same question.

[lauraECFan]

The best thing to do is just sit down and have a talk about how this can work out or affect your relationship. Are you yourself ready for the responsibility a baby will bring?