Getting credited for what you know

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Hoppingmouse
Getting settled in
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Joined: Fri May 18, 2012 11:42 pm

Getting credited for what you know

Post by Hoppingmouse » Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:48 pm

I'm in a very angsty mood at the moment. I have been thinking about how my intelligence is viewed by others. I know what I am good at. I am good at logic, language and creativity. I identify as having dyspraxic qualities but I have not been diagnosed as dyspraxic. I am slow to pick things up, slow to respond to directions and get confused easily. I have experienced others frustration often enough because of this,and I find it to be a source of depression. Unfortunately these same people also treat me like I am stupid when I know I am not. In one upsetting experience recently my tutor supervising my group experiment routinely becomes frustrated with me. However he has such poor skills of logic that he has set us down the wrong path on our assignment a number of times despite one of us having the 'right' idea- he would dismiss our ideas as nonsense. We accepted his idea only because he acted like he knew more than us and found out the hard way that he was just bluffing. Maybe this has more to do with him than me or the world in general, but this really really frustrates me. My issues are rather obvious to the world. Nobody says, "she must be sharp", but I do get things right in the end. People like my tutor are getting good jobs pretending they are better than everyone else. That is some wool I can't pull over anyones eyes, and meanwhile I struggle to find a career where I can use my talents. This is the source of my disillusion with the world. Has anyone felt the same way?

Tom fod
Administrator
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Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Getting credited for what you know

Post by Tom fod » Mon Jun 18, 2012 7:54 pm

I know the feeling. I'm not good at sounding or appearing confident about what I know. Some people are just too keen to be all superior over others. It really makes my blood boil. Unnecessary change is what gets me. People are all too apt to change stuff without being aware of the impact down the line. thinking longer is often better!

I've had a rubbish day as have managed to lose my wallet, panicked cancelled cards then found it again Grr! I shouldn't be allowed to have money!
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Button
New member - welcome them!
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Joined: Sat May 04, 2019 3:33 pm

Re: Getting credited for what you know

Post by Button » Sat May 04, 2019 4:42 pm

"I have been thinking about how my intelligence is viewed by others. I know what I am good at. I am good at logic, language and creativity. I identify as having dyspraxic qualities but I have not been diagnosed as dyspraxic. I am slow to pick things up, slow to respond to directions and get confused easily. I have experienced others frustration often enough because of this,and I find it to be a source of depression. Unfortunately these same people also treat me like I am stupid when I know I am not."

I see this was posted back in 2012 so you, or anyone, may not even see this but hey, worth a try as it really struck a chord with me.

I literally just said out loud "OH MY F***ING GOD!" to this, you could have stole this right out of my head.
I feel you so bad on this one. It is SO frustrating and I bet you get mad at yourself because you know your mental capability but your mouth just fails you. At least I do, I am very hard on myself especially since I don't know how to improve.

I can't say anything useful for you unfortunately but hope you find some comfort in knowing you're not the only one.

I have only just joined this site today, I haven't introduced myself yet because I've not been diagnosed but I was told years ago by my college tutor (who is dyspraxic) that I should go see my GP because she suspected I might be too but I never did and that's, good god, ten years ago now! But recently been struggling with misunderstandings and worried, like you said, "how my intelligence is viewed by others." Among other things.

I hope you managed to find a way to deal with this and doing well in life :)

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2149
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Getting credited for what you know

Post by Tom fod » Sat May 04, 2019 9:55 pm

Hi Button and a v warm welcome

We don't insist on a formal diagnosis as obtaining one is rarely plain sailing.

Hope you find site useful and supportive and do feel free to ask anything.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

allesandro
Power poster
Posts: 279
Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:38 pm

Re: Getting credited for what you know

Post by allesandro » Tue May 07, 2019 10:23 pm

Last year, I started working again after a year's sabbatical to deal with health issues resulting from a surgical procedure that left me anemic, and even more fatigued than I normally am. I decided to take a job at an LGBT community center whose computer documentation system is quite complicated due to the medicaid system they participate with ( similar to the NHS in the UK). Well, because of my issues and symptoms related to dyspraxia, my supervisor thought I was an idiot and soon began to treat me as such. The stupid lies she attempted to use to manipulate me and get me to do work that I was not being paid for were nothing short of an insult to my intelligence. It brought back a flooding of memories of past experiences where I was treated similarly. Despite two university degrees, and high verbal intelligence, just being treated like I was an idiot because of dyspraxic symptoms that people misperceived as being stupid. The flooding of those memories brought back the depth of the pain associated with being treated in that manner. I also vowed that under no circumstance would I ever allow anyone to mistakenly view or treat me like that again. It's extremely hurtful and humiliating, and has done quite a bit of damage to my ego over the years. I'm in my 60's now, and only wish that we had the knowledge and awareness of dyspraxia when I was young, especially in the US where we are still woefully behind the UK in our understanding of dyspraxia. I'm grateful for sites like this, and glad to see people contributing more to our sense of community.

I_Voyager
Getting settled in
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Joined: Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:23 am

Re: Getting credited for what you know

Post by I_Voyager » Thu May 09, 2019 5:37 pm

I can also related with this. Growing up I was constantly encouraged by my mother to aim low despite my high intelligence. My grade 10 English teacher saw that I had a creative intelligence for English and demanded I take university courses. It was the one sliver of academic support in a decade which gave me the courage to self-study. Unfortunately, the damage had been done. Because of friends and family I treated myself as mostly unintelligent until my mid 20s. The. I started to figure my unique intelligence out and began to apply it discursively and literarily.

A major problem is I find system rules and obedience with deontic structures very challenging. But success is so often verified in a regimented way with schools and workplaces. As a result I struggle to get recognition. So I just keep studying and writing, hoping one day all this works out.

allesandro
Power poster
Posts: 279
Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:38 pm

Re: Getting credited for what you know

Post by allesandro » Sat May 18, 2019 6:22 pm

I can relate to most of this. Spent most of my life trying to aim low instead of thinking about what I'd really like to do with it. Although, back in those days no had ever heard of dyspraxia, in the US, there was no internet, and if you were diagnosed as anything it would probably have been what Americans call developmental coordination disorder. It would have been diagnosed along with a host of other comorbidities, by a neuropsychiatrist and only because there would have been a host of things wrong with that made it obvious that you needed to see a specialist due to premature birth or some other brain damage during birth.
That being said, anything else just fell into the category of being 'stupid.' It was only when my high school tested me that they found I had a very verbal intelligence score. But by that time the damage had been done.

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