family/friends

[Ryallke]

Hello

Im not sure if this really fits here but im guessing from some family/friends comments made to me about my son (5) recently being diagnosed with dyspraxia that its quite common for people to think its not a real diagnosis/issue. My dad has said ''he'll grow out of it'', doesnt need SALT, then asked what the issue was with his speech, Ive just had an argument with my brother telling me theres nothing wrong with my son ''its his upbringing, your not tough enough'' etc then he went on to ask what dyspraxia is!....recently another friend (whos daughter is brilliant at everything) also said the same thing about theres nothing wrong with him, her daughter can also be clumsy and my sons speach is fine when he says 'mane' for 'name', he cant pronounce 'v' or 'r' and gets words in sentances muddled up.

Im finding the ignorance frustraiting and wonder how people directly effected by it cope if and im assumming do get this response because im sure at some point my son will get this ignorance too.

[Shadwell]

yes this is posted right here

but yeah growing up I always had the micky taken out of my speach by my brother, my father stopped me from going to speach therapy, because he believed it to be making me speak with sort of hessitation including during saying words, as I was trying to get the prounciation right.

but it is a sad fact that people in this day and age are too ignorant. ok so back in the 70's and 80's we didn't have the internet, but people seem to be too bone idle to look up what Dyspraxia is, about the best thing you can do for your son is be supportive, and not patronise, but giving him a hand by maybe repeating words with the right pronounciation. so that he can learn, and getting him to try repeating the word, but don't be too tough if he still can't get it right.

but also try not to smother him, but try keeping him away from too much negativity, he will get that in abundance later on in school. but try and make his home life more reassuring, and try to help him with little mistakes, he will thank-you later on.

just a shame same couldn't be said about my father, even though I didn't get a diagnosis until about 30, he is still dismissive about my problems, just because he doesn't have them type of thing, but there again my father is like the Jones's, they by a brand new car, he wants to go 1 better, and think that is where the clashing lays!

[Ryallke]

Thanks, i think i just find it amazing because mental health issues are prominent in my family history, myself, brother, sister all have depression issues, my mum SAD, my brother also pscyhizophrenic and grandad parents, cousisns etc have had breakdowns, bi-polar. I just find it amazing that they see these as real issues but not dyspraxia. I just think if you have an opinion on something you should know what your talking about and some friends and family just dont know what it is but my son hasnt 'got it' or i was asked 'how did he get it'?!!! So i'll just be sure I will keep finding out information and be able to answer their ignorance really but I can really see myself falling out with friends and some family.

Thanks again

[shakey]

It's so sad that people are so dismissive about this. I suppose because it's a hidden disability so people don't always see it for what it is. Unfortunately, it's not something that you can 'grow out of'. There can be improvements in it with the right support, but your son will probably always have some difficulties. I still walk into the corners of furniture, drop things all the time, hate handwriting and struggle with my memory.

I'm hoping to share with my family (Mum & Sis) about my discoveries on Monday when I see them (they don't know yet as I've not known for very long). I really hope that they are not dismissive with me!

Having read the Victoria Biggs book I really felt like buying a copy for each of them and sending it in the post, although I've not had the courage to do that yet! They may also not realise the extent of what dyspraxia affects in someones life so perhaps you could direct them to the dyspraxia foundation website?

[shakey]

Also meant to say that there is a petition by the dyspraxia foundation about recognising dyspraxia and saying that people with undiagnosed dyspraxia or other SpLD's are far more likely to suffer mental health issues. Interesting to read their info carefully:

"Dyspraxia is a developmental disorder affecting coordination, visual-spatial abilities, sequencing and short-term memory, with a significant impact on work and daily life. It is part of a group of conditions known as Specific Learning Difficulties (SpLDs), which includes dyslexia, Aspergers Syndrome and Attention Deficit Disorder. Studies suggest that mental health problems such as anxiety and depression are significantly more common in people with SpLDs than the general population (Alexander-Passe, 2006, Whitehouse et all, 2008). They also indicate that a high proportion of mental health service users with anxiety and depression have an underlying SpLD that is unrecognised. According to The Dyspraxia Foundation, an unrecognised dyspraxic child is five times more likely than average to develop psychological problems by the age of 16. It is important that mental health professionals are trained to identify, refer and support those with SpLDs, particularly dyspraxia, which is less well-known compared to dyslexia, and often diagnosed later. We would also like to see a diagnostic pathway for GPs to refer individuals for diagnosis."

Surely that should give your family more reason to support your son!

The petition is here: http://www.change.org/petitions/the-roy ... ic-pathway they need 34 more signatures.

[AlleyCat]

Hi Ryallke. I think you should try to brush off ignorant comments from family and friends and focus on being a strong, positive force in your son's life. Your brother's comment about you supposedly not being 'tough enough' on your son makes me so mad! It reminds me of all the times growing up when family members treated me with impatience or intolerance because I couldn't do something, or couldn't do it very well. Perhaps they thought that they were being 'tough on me' and that it would force me to get my act together but, as dyspraxia is a neurological condition which won't magically disappear, the only thing their behaviour achieved was to reduce my confidence and to make me resent them. Shadwell is so right when he says that, despite the existence of the Internet, people are too 'bone idle' to find out more about dyspraxia for themselves.

[Tim G]

It really anoys me that people are dismisive and not understanding about it. - The situation with my family is verry simmiler to yours - they want to help but havent really done any understanding or knowing about dyspraxicia and its clear that they just wont and there is also history of mental helth issues.
What I would suggest is that you try and educate them about dyspraxicia and enchrouge them to ask questions and you to answer them. If they just dont want to see then truth then thats just the way it is and you have to move on from it and try not to let it bother you too much.