Do you have/want children?

[Bonny866]

Don't worry people will be endlessly forgiving if you are pregnant, unlike for dyspraxia. I found my short term memory was non existent and ruined a whole set of pans just forgetting they were on the boil. Also adjusting to change in body shape and size made coordination harder and I had minor accidents. Just take it easy and people with have to make allowances. I have always found it hard to let others help me but I had to let them when I was pregnant and when me son was small.

[Tim G]

For me - children, no way - its just not going to happen.
Why - well firstly I don't like being around children and having to be the parent, there is too much responasblitie and children really cause me axianty as they are unpredictable, loud, can be out of control etc and realy dont help.

Also for reasons I am not going into I can't have children so there will be no 'accendatial' pregrancies etc.

I also feel that I have a lot to deal with now and even when I am more in control of things children will just make it worse - I have enough to deal with.

[joy]

I have one son who is also dyspraxic and ADD I wasnt aware that I had Dyspraxia or ADD at the time there is more chance that your child will be affected , my son is not to badly affected certainly not as much as me I suppose thats down to the luck of the draw but has stopped me from having more children as I wouldnt want to inflict this on another child.

[cazzzzy]

im 42 now si dont think i will,but i change my mind every 5 minutes....oh i like them, then no bloodly kids !!!!....i get ditracted to easily and bored so worry i wouldnt do a good job and my ways rub off on the child and as for disaplin if i had to tell them off i would feel bad so on and so on

[molsonsnobunny]

I want a child (just one), My longtime bf and I have been trying for half a year.. no success yet. I do have my fears, the biggest one is not being able to hold a baby once he/she reaches a certain weight.. another one is i'm kinda worried the baby will end up having it and they have to go through life dealing with what I did. But if that were to happen at least i'll be able to understand and be there...the other fear is when they get older that they'll be able to do things I can't and be embarassed to have a mom like me.

Regardless though, I want a child.. I tell myself that I'm sure every mother to be and evey female trying has their fears....

[hanna]

I want a child (just one), My longtime bf and I have been trying for half a year.. no success yet. I do have my fears, the biggest one is not being able to hold a baby once he/she reaches a certain weight.. another one is i'm kinda worried the baby will end up having it and they have to go through life dealing with what I did. But if that were to happen at least i'll be able to understand and be there...the other fear is when they get older that they'll be able to do things I can't and be embarassed to have a mom like me.

Regardless though, I want a child.. I tell myself that I'm sure every mother to be and evey female trying has their fears....

My mum is dyspraxic like me and so is my older brother.There is a chance you could pass it on but i have 3 brothers and two of them don't have it so guess it just depends.
Your right if your child is dyspraxic it will be a great advantage that you are too.Im really greatfull that my mum dyspraxic as-well because we are really similar like its crazy really .Shes went through all the stuff i have and shes done alot of work on herself so always has the best advice for me and really understands what i need.Also she has always had brillient patientce with me when other people didnt because they didnt understand why i couldnt do things.
Also im sure you will be well able to hold your baby(they rest into you body and hip so is act really easy even when they get heavy).I dont no how strong you are but im very small only 5ft 1 and 42 kg and i have weak arms yet i child minded a baby form the age of 6 mounths to 2 and a half years and had no problems with holding her.Admittedly sometimes my hands would ache at the end of the day but that could be more due to the fact her older sister and brother loved me picking them up and spining them around.
Regarding your worries about your child being embarrassed of you don't be silly my mums really clumsy and cant spell alot of simple words but we have never been embarrassed of her.Also all my friends love her and they all turn to her with problems they dont want to dicuss with there own mothers.
Also incase you where worried about your child being held back if they turned out to be dyspraxic with your help they could overcome it and achive anything they want in life.Many teachers told my mum that me and my brother were just stupid but she knew differnt and supported us and fought with teachers so that we got support and weren't put in low classes in school.My brothers now doing a PHD and im in collage so guess its paid off .i wish you all the best with geting pregnant and dont worry u'll be a brillient mother!!!

oh and i cant wait to have kids.i want to have a good few but will see how it goes.am planning untill waiting to my late 20s though to get pregnant because want to do loads of other things first and enjoy my youth.

[capbiker]

This is an hard question for me to answer, and I think it would be needed to be answered by my partner and I at the required time. One of the things that would put me off having children, is if they do have Dyspraxia would they grow up and have the major issues like I did. For example being bullied at school, having to leave home to go to boarding schools because of it etc.

There is a lot of questions and unknown answers, to bring a child into this world if you knew that they had a very good chance of having a disability?

cap

[Kimiann]

I'm 54 and have 3 grown up children, one of which was diagnosed dyspraxic at the age of four. We have only just figured out I'm dyspraxic too. When my son was diagnosed we did lots of research and had a lot of help from his school. We have a unique way of looking at the world! Would I have had kids if I had known about me? Yes, definitely. Although life can be very difficult and school was a bit of a pain sometimes, I think my son has more determination to succeed that my other two. When he learns something he ends up being very good at it, just like his OT said all those years ago. So I think it's OK to have kids.

Kim

[meow]

I want children but I do worry that I wont be a good enough mum because of my dyspraxia.

[krishjoli]

I'd love to have kids, one day. Although if they were Dyspraxic, I'd feel really guilty about it. It's hard to explain why, I suppose I just wouldn't want them to have to face the same problems as kids that I did.

[ALADDIN]

I do not want children, because I do not I could be a role model, I do not have a permanent job so how do I provide an income for kids ?

The stress of being a parent, maybe too much.

[Jim]

This is something I've given a fair bit of thought to over the years.

If I'm brutally honest I don't want children. I fear that I'd be a poor father because ultimately I'm a little bit too selfish and self centered. Not because I'm vain but because I find due to my aversion to noise, crowds etc that I'm increasingly isolating myself from others.

It's not that I lack social skills, nor am I anti social. I'm actually very accommodating and considerate in a social setting yet I'm very un so social in that I very rarely go out and ultimately prefer my own company or that of very few others.

When my sister comes round with her kids (great kids, don't get me wrong) I've had enough only after a couple hours of their mayhem and although I care for them and feel protective towards them I could never see myself in that environment 24/7, especially when just a couple of hours a week drive me up the wall.

So in that sense in fear the responsibility of being a parent and would rather not have it. If it does happen then I'd want to deal with it to the best of my ability but I'd probably forever be in the middle of a guilt complex for lack of reading bedtime stories (I hate reading aloud) and inevitably forgetting birthday dates and all manner socially stuff I tend to avoid.

Many people who talk to me about kids simply can not comprehend my point of view, "oh it's different when you have your own" "everyone's nervous first time" that kind of thing, but when I try to explain my reasoning they seem to think I'm damn right weird or even selfish of depriving other people the opportunity to experience my offspring *what? I have to go through an experience I dread just so you can feel like a uncle/auntie?* type of thing.

I know this might be an extreme view, but it is an honest one. I wouldn't say that I won't ever have kids, just that I'd rather not have to.

[Tim G]

elfish of depriving other people the opportunity to experience my offspring *what? I have to go through an experience I dread just so you can feel like a uncle/auntie?* type of thing.

Thats just hipocriticial of them saying it selfish of you - isent it selfish of them wanting somone in there family to have kids so that they can play at being a grandparent, arntie, uncel etc.

I compleatly understand what you mean about not wanting kids. I feel the same, I have heard it before with people saying that everyones like that the first time, when its yours you will understnd etc. The thing is I don't like children at all and I wont be able to cope - why bring a life into this world when you cant give it what it needs.
Its somthing that really has to be throught out for the child not just somthing for the parent and the family.

Its said that a dog is for life not for christmas - the same is true with your offspring - its for them not for you and your ideals.

[Ruth]

Well I've got two gorgeous daughters.....My eldest in a bit too like me ...definate Dyspraxic traits but not enough to get a diagnosis I find that very very hard in all sorts of ways...

My youngest in much more neurotypical...she has a memory that works and everything. I sometime worry that I expect too much of her poor kid!!Where are we going again?/ Can you remeber what we came in for?? oh god just check the fridge for the phone again darling etc etc....plus points she helps me onto the escalator

I didn't know I was Dyspraxic whenI had my lovely girls and I really did struggle in the early months to try and keep it all together. But in a funny kind of way it sort of helped. I used to fall down the stairs fairly often, it was just me falling so it didn't matter much but the first and only time I fell down th estairs holding my oldest was terrifying - so much so that I'm now uber over careful/cautious Thank fully she was competely un harmed - I however was a jibbering wreck and had to call lovel understanding hubby home from work!!!! oh and covered in bruises

I know they were both really slow to learn to eat with a knife and fork because I HATE the sound of metal on metal - even now there is no cutlery clinking or plate scraping at the table --- unless lovely hubby forgets!!!

hardest bit for me at present is keeping on top of home work school forms etc....both girls now at secondary school and the office staff are really no where near as helpful and understadning as primary school....operation charm in action with steady stream of thenk you notes and chocolate biscuits loogic being that if they know me and like me they'll be more inclined to help me...

We were the youngest in our frienship group to have kids and several of our friends - having seen us go through it - have decided against having kids - they have fabulouslyinteresting social lives (ie they have one!!) and go onlovely holidays.........there's a lot to be said for it and dyspraxic or not your life is yours to do with as you choose

[StuartDotC]

I have 2 children, the eldest is dyspraxic and has many problems with it although he is gaining confidence and has started mixing with others at school now which is a huge relief. The youngest has been tested but we were told it's too early to be certain but he is the complete opisate to his brother personality wise, he is absolutely full of confidence and will happily join in with children he's never met before and his nursery tells me he is very popular with his classmates.

I was never diagnosed with dispraxia as a child so when I first had the children I just thought I was stupid, shy and clumsy and didn't realise I was passing on problems to them.