Dyspraxia and poor treatment at work

[Nick1971]

y

[Catwoman42]

Don't give up! How settled are you on this island? Would you consider moving for the right job (and being covered by the DDA?)

[Nick1971]

y

[thelaticsfan]

I'm sorry for how you were treated, I have had a fantastic time with my company, they have been very accepting and often tell me on ways I can improve and sometimes sit with me if I am struggling to get through a document etc.

Just remember that its not all bad, you will find somewhere accepting, just take the risk of moving to mainland uk because eventually you will find the place you belong!

There may be nothing that comes from it, but try talking to the press, particularly bbc who make the panorama programme about your experience, they try to unearth al sorts of mistreatment, if enough people come forward then eventually the people are named and shamed.

[Catwoman42]

Nick

last year I moved into the city. Not a move as huge as yous would be, admittedly, but a huge move emotionally for me. My parents were aghast! However, they can both see how happy I am and how much my social life has improved and my commute is much shorter. Very, very worth it.

[Nick1971]

y

[agsiul]

I'm with you on this one. Best wait and see which one you get. Some people will help and others will use it as a stick to beat you with. I have the same theory about interviews. I do very good interviews for some people and do terrible ones for others. Clearly i wasn't going to get on well with the person that I didn't bad interview with because they were picking on me throughout the interview...would I really want to work for someone like that? Obviously not so that's what I say to myself after I've made a balls up of an interview.

[Katy]

These posts are so useful. I'll be going for an assessment etc for dyspraxia in the near future and I've been considering the pros and cons of disclosure at work. I'm sorry to hear that some of you have experienced such negative reactions. I have just shown my partner the posts and both of us think it's appalling that this type of discrimination still exists in 2011 and the posts have made me realise that there are a lot of issues to consider in relation to the workplace and job hunting. Hope the job searches go well.

[Nick1971]

Yes

[agsiul]

I wouldn't say anything right now. I have plenty of firends who don't have dyspraxia who arent' getting work either. why make it harder for yourself to get a job. I don't think giving out cards is a good idea. anyone who is a bully is not going to change their behaviour because you've told them you have a problem with certain things. If anything you'll give them extra ideas. Better speak to the person in charge and explain your difficulties and think of ways together to improve these things. If they can't help you look at the situations yourself and find out what you can do to help yourself. You may need to get help from someone else to help you to figure this out but this way you'd be proactive about helping yourself do a good job. At the end of the day everyone is good/bad at things and everyone has to work at improving their performance in work.

[Nick1971]

I do understand the dangers of giving more ammunition to bullies by handing out cards explaining why I might be slightly different or slower at learning something new.

I suppose it all depends on how educated and on the emotional IQ of a bully on whether to take the risk and dish out a bespoke card explaining my problems.

Sometimes managers can help and have a word with a bully, but often managers are friends with the bully or don't have the backbone to sort out the troublemaker or simply just want an easy life.

I'm now at the stage of my life (I'm 39 year old man) where I am no longer prepared to just sit back and let the bully undermine me. This undermining could be direct or subtle - e.g. making me looking stupid in front of colleagues, taking tasks away from me etc.

I've learnt to stand up for myself much more now and can be pretty assertive and hard (in the non physical sense) when I need to be - especially when pushed and hormones are super charged with stress and aggression.

The key is to not get so emotional and charged up that it ends up backfiring and getting you into even more trouble! Easier said than done of course.

NIck

[Avarice]

She is German and was very critical of any dyspraxic symptons I displayed.
These were occassionally getting overwhelmed and indecisive when under stress and making some stupid typos in some work documents. She also sensed that I had a problem and saw this is a weakness to exploit. Nick

These people will know all about it if they get something like a stroke.

Having similar issues myself and having always having been strong in the verbal IQ department that can also be a very powerful weapon when used against persons/organisations who try to F"""K with you. Blitzkrieg them with a reasoned, coherent and factually based set of arguments as to why and how they are being both organisationally and (especially) personally objectionable. If you don't have something like an industrial tribunal system in the Channel Islands as well then maybe they should be asked to leave the UK or stump up more of their tax haven money for their upkeep.

[Nick1971]

.....A very good reply to my original posting..thank you....

One thing to add though, is that although the Channel Islands are British terrority they do not technically form part of the UK. We cannot vote in UK elections and we do not pay UK taxes (we have our own parliament and tax system)...infact we are very much more independent than Scotland or Wales which are still part of the UK. The Channel Islands also pay their own way and do not receive any funding from the UK on domestic matters. We're not even in the EU!

Because of this the Channel Islands have in effect virtual independence on all domestic matters and can do what they want, including dragging their feet on introducing anti-disrimination legislation. It's a shame but it's the way things are.

Nick

[mjt]

Hi,
Had a very interesting time reading what you said about dyspraxia and treatment at work, and I can really relate it to recent events in my life.
When you ask what jobs dyspraxic people can do, I really think that the correct answer would be "most". However, as some people rightly pointed out, some supervisors will use the difficulties you have to cause you to fail if that's the type of person they are.
I am dyspraxic, and one of the biggest areas I have a problem in is spacial memory. I can put something down and literally seconds later, if you asked me to pick it up, I wouldn't have a clue where it is.
My last boss used to take any opportunity to have me searching for documents. She realised I found it really difficult and she used to maximise the amount of time I was looking for things. On one occasion, she even took some documents from my in-tray and had a go at me a couple of days later for my not realising she had taken them.
I eventually lost the job.
However, not all is doom and gloom. I have found another job, but what is also important is that I kept a diary of all events, times, dates, etc. I'd definitely advise you to do the same, as this diary could be very helpful to you in the future.
Bullies tend to use "little" events to wear you down. These events on their own may not seem worth reporting, but the pictures they build up can be very damning. The thing is that bullies tend to use dyspraxia as a tool to get under your skin, but even in the Channel Islands, bullying is bullying and a diary should be able to prove this.
I don't want to go into all the details of my specific case, but I think that my keeping a diary may pay off very soon.

Hope you find a great job soon.

[AlleyCat]

My last boss used to take any opportunity to have me searching for documents. She realised I found it really difficult and she used to maximise the amount of time I was looking for things. On one occasion, she even took some documents from my in-tray and had a go at me a couple of days later for my not realising she had taken them.
I eventually lost the job.

This kind of thing is appalling, but it happens all too often . Other members of staff will often be aware of it, but just turn a blind eye, which can make it even harder if you try to get something done about the bullying. I have just been having a debate with someone about whether or not you should disclose dyspraxia to an employer, as she seems to think if you don't, they'll probably think you're stupid or be irritated that it is taking you longer than other people to do tasks. However, I have had experience of disclosing dyspraxia to an employer and found that it caused my line manager (who was one of the people who offered me the job in full knowledge of my condition) to talk to me like I was a child, rather than as a colleague who deserved respect! There's just too much ignorance of dyspraxia, so people with the condition seem to find themselves being bullied in the workplace time and time again. I just wish the media and organisations like the Dyspraxia Foundation would do more to raise awareness of the condition.