How to read people (esp. when joking)

[lunalovegood]

I have trouble reading people, particularly figuring out when they are joking or not. A lot of people are deadpan, so there is no change in tone to signal when the person's telling a joke (online I have a really hard time telling when people are joking unless they use emoticons). Needless to say, these problems have made it difficult for me to communicate with people. A lot of these social skills seem to be innate or just picked up along the way, but my dyspraxic brain is hindering me. How can I learn to read people better? Does anyone have some coping strategies? It has gotten so bad that I am tempted to give up socializing altogether.

[laurajm]

I have the same problem, I get easily offended because I do not realise people are joking. My boyfriend often jokes with me and I get upset because I do not realise he does not mean it.

My strategy is just be honest with people and ask them if they're joking or not. I usually mask this by laughing with them and saying 'oh my gosh really?' nobody seems to notice.

xx

[philip banham]

i know this will sound really horrible and come across the wrong way, but i've found that most people i meet seem to be quite dull anyway, like our sense of humour doesnt match. i try not to worry about it too much as if people dont like me the way i am to begin with, they probably never will! relax and stop thinking about it so much, and after a little while it stops being so much of a problem. if you go into a situation worrying about your dyspraxia, it becomes the first thing people notice about you rather than the person you are, which creates a barrier between you and others. quite simply, put dyspraxia out of your mind and go with the situation, follow other peoples leads and try to relax into it.

[SirDaveofDanger]

I have a very small circle of friends (10 when I last counted), who I can be 'me' around and i'd trust them with my life/to back me up with any situation. I'll put on something of a front when i'm meeting new people and sometimes struggle to 'read them', but with my close friends its so blatent that we are taking the **** out of one another/ourselves, its hard not laugh. I'm very self depricating, so maybe thats what helps me in social situations.

[Alice]

I fail at humor. Few pepoles pepoles jokes are funny to me, and my (intentional) jokes aren't funny to anyone else. I've gotten better at giving other people the benifit of the doubt though. Also when I tease my friends they no longer expect me to sound like I'm joking, in exchange for better undestanding, I have lost the power to offend them if I wanted too. These are both good things.