Moving away from home for 6months trial

[Little Miss Anxious]

"Hey! I am 23 years old. I know I have a small learning disability but I am extremely eager and determined to live away from home for a while. I am going to move out of my mums house for 6months trial in Augast coming.

So I was wondering should I share with strangers or should I get my own place? What are the disadavantages and advantages of both???

If I live alone In am entitled to housing benefits because I receive a disability allowance weekly but I don't get it if I share.


I want to be like everyone else which includes; choosing my life style, making my own decisions and choices, having fun, getting tipsy when I am out the odd time, getting my own place, going to colledge, having a very loving gorgeous moderatly confident boyfriend who accepts me appreciates me and respects me, and eventually a partner/husband. I want to socialise with fun genuine optomistic friends, go traveling, be bit childish in a playful or exciting way, be responsible, having a career I love and am good at.

Is there anything wrong about that? If there is then what is it???

So back to the question, which option do you think is the best when living away from home and why???

I just would love to be able to try it because alot of people did whether they liked it or not, they tried it because they wanted to, or because they needed accommodation when attending colledge in another county or country or they needed accommodation for their job placement or they wanted to leave in a particular town or city.

What do you think???

What challenges do you reckon I would face becauseb I have a learning disability and how can i overcome it and be allowed to do what everyone else without a disability can do or be???

Thank you!



WB soon... x

[Evasura]

Hi Amy,
how exciting!.
I've shared with quite a few people, friends and non friends. If you have to share, I would definetely go for sharing with friends. If t know about your dyspraxia, much better. People find difficult enough to cope with dyspraxics...even friends. I've ended up living on my own (and I love it!). Even friends found very annoying the state of my bedroom (even though I tried to keep it tidy, but apparently even so it looks untidy), forgetting to close he front door at night, spilling drinks and dropping/braking stuff, etc. If you have close, understanding and pacient friends and you line the company, go for it. Personally, I find living on my own mch better for several reasons:
- You don't need to explain to anyone about those things above.
- You don't need to talk to anyone when you get home (unless you like this)
- You can have your own way to organise things without having to give explnations
- Same about obsessions
- same about weird food habits, sleeping patterns, etc
- In your case, you will also keep on receiving that money.


THINGS YOU HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR:
- Try to keep your place as tidy as you can bit by bit. Don't leave everything pile up until you don't know where to start. I know it's easier to say than to do (I should actually be tidying my flat now cos i've left it and now it's in a copmplete mess and here I am flicking through the internet instead of cleaning) and it requires a lot of effort an will power. Some people seem to be able to do it without any effort, but I guess for us, it requires more of it.Setting a day a week as the cleaning day helps as you incorporate it into your routine, though. I haven't found out yet how to keep it tidy the rest of days. Maybe someone else can advice on this.
- can't give advise about breaking plates and glasses. I have to replace mine all the time. housewarming party and birthdays are good occasions to get people to give you plates and glasses for replacement. Maybe plastic ones?
- Give copies of your home keys to your close friends, if they live nearby much better. You will lock yourself out and you don't want to spnd your money in a locksmith everythime you do this.
- Get standing orders for your bills. That way you won't forget to pay for them.
- Remove the keys from the lock and close the door as soon as you get in. Otherwise you may forget to do it until the next time you leave the place.

Hope this helps. Obviously, everything depends on your onwn situation and tastes. Hope you enjoy your new life style

[Little Miss Anxious]

Thank you! One problem though - I don't have any friends to share with so will have to move alone or with other students who I don't know.

How can I make good friends? could you give some good tips on that please???

WB...

[maria]

I've lived on my own for a while. Just some basic advice (which applies to anyone living on their own, dyspraxic or non-dyspraxic):-

The house keys advice is an excellent one. Leave a spare set with a friend or relative, preferably who lives nearby.

Invest in a torch and batteries (and possibly some candles) just in case electricity ever goes out. Keep the torch in the same place.

A phone is a must when you live on your own, but don't just rely on a cordless phone (for same reason above). Have a plug-in phone or mobile too.

Keep a couple of litres of bottled water under the sink in case of water repairs in your area.

Keep a list of handy phone number eg friends, relatives, landlord, doctor's etc by phone.

As far as I know (I'm working so not sure) your housing benefit should be around £92 per week and if you're not working you will have your council tax paid for you too. Apply as soon as possible as it will take a while to sort.

Hope that helps!

[Little Miss Anxious]

Thanks very much.

I am in the republic of Ireland.

PLease tell me how I can make some good friends and what rules I must stick by.

Thank you!

WB as soon as possible please.

[Evasura]

Don't think that I am a master makng friends. I have very few friends (very very good and close), and I have been very lucky that they are very nice people and we have become friends more because of them than because of me. They always phone me and take me out. I am actually quite bad at keeping in touch if it's not because of them. Te ones from my home town, I've known them for 15 years and we keep in touch through facebook, I let them know when I'm going to be in Madrid and they organise everything so that we meet. The ones here in UK, I've met them at work and they have asked me out. Seeing each other everyday helps to build up a friendship. As it is people I like I keep on saying yes, but it is mainly them, who suggest to meet. If it was for what I do, we would probably never meet up. The people that I've lived with were friends of friends and after living with them, I haven't kept in touch anymore, ao I can't really give good advice on living with friends, because it obviously hasn't owrked out well.
Something that I know it works to keep your friends is:
- Don't always talk about yourself People like to be listened.
- Don't call them all the time.
- Try to remember what they tell you, at least some details at the beginning of the friendship or tell them that you are not very good with your memory. If they're good people, they will understand and they will see that it doesn't mean that you don't care about them, it's just that our memory is bad. My friends know that they have to tell me things about five times for me to remember them, but it doesn't mean that I don't care about them. You can show this by being very generous to them, volunteer to help them with stuff, etc. If you really like them, this will come on its own.
- Try to be flexible with your ideas. When I was younger, I didn't have any friends at all, and I wouldn't understand why. I used to be very stubborn and apparently I sounded quite aggresive with people (my friends tell me I still sound aggressive when people don't know me) With time, I have become more flexible on my ideas and I know that it has helped to keep my friendships. Actually, the times that I argue with them it tends to be because I or them) are being stubborn about something.
- It is difficult to know when people are takking advantage of you. I used to have huge problems with this when I was younger and I always ended up finding out that the people who I thought were friends, thae just wante something and once they had it they would dump me. Adults don't tend to be like that so much. If someones btohers to ask you out and meet you and spend time with you and have fun for the shake of it, it normally means that they genuinly like you. Trust them.
- They don't need to call you avsolutely every day. Don't panic if they don't call you in a few days, they might be busy. That doesn't mean that they don't like you anymore. And you can always text or call and ask how things are going.
But moving in with them.... not sure that would be a good idea. I know that living with them would probably ruin our friendship, so I still hink that on the field of moving out, it's easier to liv on your own.
Not sure how good the advice is. I just know that this works for me.

[Little Miss Anxious]

I only have two friends who I have known since childhood who don't have a disability and are very busy. One of them is called Aoibheen and she going to do research work in America with friends who aren't friends with me and she is unsure about me getting my own place. I am sorry but I am bit jelous of people who have moved away from home, have some great friends to hang out with, travelled, went abroad with their friends and have got the career they want without supervision. I want to be like them. +
+++

[Little Miss Anxious]

My uncle has opened up a savings account for me when I was a child. In my savings there is 4 grand or 4000 euro in total, but how can I get him to give me 1000 euro from my saving cos it would help me cope, instead of me saving for it??? What should I say to him to convince him to give it to me? I have 900 and something in my own savings so far. How did you save??? What did you do??? How can I get 1000 by Augast for my deposit and for other stuff??? Please+help+me.+I+really+want+this.+Have+since+I+was+18.+W

[Evasura]

wow! that's not bad. I am sorry, I can't help you on the financial side. I am a financial dysaster. I earn quite a lot of money and I don't have a spare penny (well, I've actually lived in overdraft since I was 17) The majority of people who earn like me are owners, but as I cannot save, I cannot give a deposit to buy. When I moved out the first time I workd a lot of hours a day, teaching private tuitions and that way I paid for my first deposit. Don't know how other people manage with low paid jobs or not job at all. £900 look pretty good to me. I think that that's less than I had when I first moved out. Sorry can't help you more on this :-(

[Evasura]

I meant more than I had.

[Lizzi]

Can I just say I think you are really inspirational! I am 23 myself and it is a huge step. Best of luck to you sweetheart xxx