any help me about chatting 2 women

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Little Miss Anxious
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by Little Miss Anxious »

"hey! How are ye men pogressing with chatting up the girls? Just be yourselves but don't be too personal when you are talking about yourselves or when you ask them quesions. Does this help??? "now i feel very upset because I have weekly been sending my boyfriend Alex credit and in the text I wrote I would like you to text me more often and he agreed that he would but all I have gotten was "I miss you and I miss your warmth beside me, I whish you were her and I dear that I am going to loose you because of my illness, I love you, I love you X1000, I am very depressed now I love you, how are you now? Thanks for the credit I love you, I have learnt that you are as beautiful and sexy as ever, Good night tiger, Good nite X 3, Goodnite then I am going to bed miss you too, Sorry for getting angry with you last nite, I miss you, Can't wait to see you this weekend, I will talk to you later. "Not very romantic texts were they?" The phone calls were how are you and I miss you and he teesed with my playfully and told eachother our new s, other times it was What do you want? I would ring him a few times when he is felling very depressed. Itext him saying I feel abandoned by him coz he doesn't contact me much and he replied "ya because you are too clingy and you treat me like a dog giving me commands but he said that message was supposed to be for someone else?????. What are the symptoms of clingyness and how can you stop that behaviour? WB :( :S
Amy Conway
Magic_Lemur
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by Magic_Lemur »

Little Miss Anxious wrote:just be yourself, talk about life and tell a joke. We woman love jokes.
The first bit, I agree with, though I never know what 'yourself' is exactly..? :-k

As for Jokes, I remember what the World's greatest ever stand-up comedian (IMHO) Bill Hicks said on the subject: "Chicks dig Jerks".
One of the routines he did, he mentioned about serial killer Ted Bundy's trial. This might just be an American thing, but he said that there were women from all over the USA, in the public gallery with "letters and marriage proposals" to Ted Bundy.
He then went on to say about how, if the Dark Lord himself came down, then Women would shout "What a Cute Butt!"
Bystander: "But he's Satan..."
Woman: "I can change him!"
Within a week, he'd be mowing the Lawn & cleaning the house!

I'm not as cynical as Mr Hicks, but I do agree with him when he says that humour isn't the whole picture... :grin:
"But only 1 in 10 survives all danger.
When walking thru the jungle,..
He never fears tigers
as there's no place to sink his claws,...

This is the fulfilled person of the Tao
who has no mortal spot."


Tao Te Ching Verse 50
Little Miss Anxious
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by Little Miss Anxious »

If you really like a woman and it is not just sexual attraction. Work on theses following tasks:

1. Accept yourself

2. Treat yourself well with praises, loving comments such as you were amazing, you did a great job, a bit of chocolate and lots of fruit and maybe vege, massages, therapy, caring for your mind and body. Fill your mind with positive thoughts and goals, don't posion your body with alcohol weekly or socially, set boundries to where people are allowed to touch you, Don't have sex if you are having doubts that have nothing to do with worrying that you won't be a good lover, or social worries such as relationships, your past actions etc. The doubts you should listen to are the ones that say "I don't trust this person, I am afraid that I might get too close to them, I don't like this person,this person doesn't like me, this person scares me, this person is putting me another alot of pressure, I will be going against my morals and my heart or I am not at all attracted to this person.

3. Believe in yourself and don't let your disability hold you back from achieveing what you want because you are not your disability and alot of men without any disability have the same problem as you. I am very sure about that.

4. Find out what your interests are and discuss them with someone you discover has a few or more of the same interests as you.

5. Ask yourself ?what type of relationship do you want with a woman? What things are important to me in life? and find a woman who wants the same thing out of life as you. Ask yourself "What do I want in a woman that is a need for me or is very important? Do not got looking for a woman until you have figured all this out. It may take time so be patience.

When you have solved all of the above, search the room for a woman who is interacting with alot of people but doesn't have to get drunk to have fun, she must have a real pleasant smile, she must be radiant and attract genuine positive people but be aware of any forms of aggression such as a pount, crossed eyes as if she wants revenge, loud tone of voice, arms musn't be crossed unless it is very cold where you are.

6. When you find that type of woman that I have mentioned above, try to make long eye contact with her from across the room until she catches you and smiles but then you must look away. Keep doing that.

If she holds your gaze, go over to her, smile and say hello, introduce yourself, compliment her on her outfit but never ever say " you look sexy, you look hot, I think you are hot, I am so horny or look down at her body and lick your lips or just look down at her because it is not polite to that. Appropriate things to say are that.... looks really nice on you, you have lovely eyes if you mean it, you look stunning, that colour suits you, you look kute or I think you are kute, wow....... is my favourite colour as well, what do you like about that colour. Also ask her "Are you enjoying yourself/ are you having a nice night?. "Are you from around here?

7. Next ask what she likes to do on her spare time and if it is the same as you talk about it in greater detail, if you don't have those hobbies ask her about them and listen and repeat back what she has said to show that you are interested in what she says and care about what she says and are interested in hearing alot or everything about her.

8. If the response is postive then tell a funny story of yours that you have told others before and they think it is funny, show her your great sense of humour by making small jokes out of things that have nothing to do with deaths or tragic events but you can joke about life.

9. If you try all that and it doesn't work out, then she doesn't want anyting to do with you or senses that you are very low in self esteem and you don't believe that you deserve to be with a woman or that you are good enough, which can be picked up through your body language and the womans intuition or gut feeling so she wants to get away from you or tries to withdraw from you in all ways. There is nothing you can do accept believe that you are good enough to be with a woman and that you do deserve to have or find a woman that likes you but if you are feeling this way, then just move on to another woman but use the same routien on all the women.

You can talk about the weather if you want as a starting conversation topic. If you are in a nightclub go dancing, find a woman dancing by herself and join in with her without touching her or put your hand out to her like you are offering a dance to her and if she grabs your hand then you have won. Dance with her for 15minutes and then start the conversation with her.

Here is another pointer for you - If she is a nice woman, offer to buy her a drink if you are in a pub or nightclub. If you are in a coffee shop ask if you can sit beside her and if she says yes sit down beside her and the same goes for a bus or train or aeroplane, if it is a library sit beside her but don't flirt in this place and just make a conversation. If she is reading a book you like discuss the book with her and what you like about the book and what you find interesting about it, if it is a group go sit beside her and engage in a conversation with her.

If you sense that she likes you, ask her out but if you get bad vibes from her or you are not getting any signs that she is interested in you such as, Long eye contact as in gazing, not asking you questions about yourself or making alot of excuses to get away from you and if she touches you lighlty on the arm when she speaks to you or constantly jokes around with you and playfully wrestles with you and looks at you for a while now and again and smiles then she does like and is interested in seeing you again.

Best of luck dude......x :D
Amy Conway
Magic_Lemur
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Location: Oxford

Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by Magic_Lemur »

Sound advice - especially the bit about dancing (I always wonder what to do in those situations...)

Sorry if I came across as a bit narky, but I get the 'Be Yourself' & 'Make 'em laugh' advice all the time &, although it is sound, there is often more to it & I find the psychology of it fascinating.

Plus (I dunno if this is Dyspraxia), but I find I lack the intuitive ability to understand signals & all the minutiae of dating, so detailed advice comes in handy... :D

Btw, in terms of things to talk about (which I always find really tricky), I find this game: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cube_(game) really easy to remember, along with that school kids game 'Blind Mouse, Dumb Mouse, Deaf Mouse'.
Of course, this only gives a few minutes of material, but I find it always goes swimmingly anyway with the right person...
"But only 1 in 10 survives all danger.
When walking thru the jungle,..
He never fears tigers
as there's no place to sink his claws,...

This is the fulfilled person of the Tao
who has no mortal spot."


Tao Te Ching Verse 50
Pixibeatz
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by Pixibeatz »

you are not alone, although being a girl and being in a relationship I can understand how hard it is going on the pull or plucking up the courage to speak to someone because I've never done it, I don't spot subtle flirting from guys but i'll try n list a few things that i've heard from girly mates over the years and some of my own ideas:

# a smile always helps
# maybe try some sort of compliment like you're looking pretty today- can work off complete strangers or guys i know vaguely.
# if you meet them in a bar or coffee shop try talk for a little while maybe a minute or two whilst you are both waiting to get served then offer to buy them a drink.
# NEVER open a conversation with "ooooh nice rack" lol it might sound like a complement but it gives the game away too easily and is more likely to offend cos its too crude.
# even if you have low self esteem there is something that your friends even if you only have one like about you, find out what that is and try and use that.
# if you are looking for a particular sort of girl e.g. a sci fi fan or a rock chick, go places where they might be, I struggle to find people i really click with and i go to an alternative rock night weekly and let me tell you there are plenty of lovely people who are just as shy or clueless or low on self esteem as any of us.
# unless u meet in a sports bar try not to talk too much about sport and cars unless she's in footy kit lol, try movies, funny stuff you've heard, if u can't think of any that happened to you try reading msn news b4 u got out.
# often i find people rush into things, if you are shy just try to get their interest enought to add them on face book and invite them out some time
# trouble i have on advising you is i am a bit of a sci fi, rock nerd who gets along better with guys, not ur classic girly example.
# see if there are a couple of bands that girls you already know/ are friends with that you can stand the sound of and try listening to some of their stuff on spotify or you tube, u might find it helps
# biology research shows guys and girls both like novelty, so if theres something special about you that makes you proud, mention it but don't go on and on. for example i am a dj so i usually mention that, well i use it to help make friends.
# carry a cigarette lighter when out, even if you don't smoke and the girl you like or spot doesn't smoke, the generosity of lending the lighter might make you more memorable to one of her girly mates. i know lots of guys and girls who have low opinions of themselves and wouldn't know where to start, there is hope, some how it will happen
Pixibeatz
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by Pixibeatz »

oh and getting past chatting, i wish i could be more help but the guys i have dated haven't exactly been usual cases of how to get past chatting:

# guy number one after chatting he asked me to go see the new star wars prequels, i turned him down at first, in the end my friends and his friends kept telling me we'd be perfect for each other, i caved.
# guy number 2: was a nut case that flirted with me while guy number one was still on the scene, he befriended me whilst throwing in a few cheeky flirts, he waited for me to realise i liked him that way.
# rebound guy: was nice to me while guy number two was breaking my heart- he bought me a cd, copied stuff off his i tunes for me etc little kind gestures that slowly made me realise he was interested.. he was a massive mistake tho as rebound guys usually are
# guy number 4: I met him at a friends party when we were both tipsy, spin the bottle was being played and the birthday girl came up with the forfeit that him n i had to kiss, then we chatted, after the party my friend text me to see if she could give him my number and eventually i said yes, we met up went to the pub for lunch and the rest is history.
peterkeegan
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by peterkeegan »

Helping Women understanding blokes though this may not apply to every bloke.

Me speaking (typing badly) as a bloke of 38 having been round the block a few times, for me personally I like women who keep things simple, not drop subtle hints but tell me direct what they want.

not looking to pick an arguement at possible thing that is not agreed upon and then say to her mates that I am a Bas***d.

Letting me sleep when I am ill or tired.

Both having own space and own time doing things apart and not constantly together.

No nagging especially about going to the pub/ watching football/ sport.
We the willing, led by the unknowning are attempting to the impossible for the ungrateful.

We have done so much with so little that we are now experts at doing anything with nothing.
Osymandus
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by Osymandus »

I think teh real issues is do tyou want to learn to live and love with a social type or teh individual that is beneath it ;)
Magic_Lemur
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by Magic_Lemur »

Both & neither - a veritable paradox! =P~
"But only 1 in 10 survives all danger.
When walking thru the jungle,..
He never fears tigers
as there's no place to sink his claws,...

This is the fulfilled person of the Tao
who has no mortal spot."


Tao Te Ching Verse 50
WTCCFan
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by WTCCFan »

Not been on in ages. Had other stuff. Nice to be back on a forum I feel where many will understand me.
Pixibeatz wrote:# a smile always helps.
Pixibeatz wrote: # maybe try some sort of compliment like you're looking pretty today- can work off complete strangers or guys i know vaguely.
Pixibeatz wrote: # if you meet them in a bar or coffee shop try talk for a little while maybe a minute or two whilst you are both waiting to get served then offer to buy them a drink.
They do say that brief moment when you smile, give a compliment or just make idle chat will boost confidence - though it may not actually get anywhere serious. Just get over the fear that women will think your weird because women are more independent now.
Pixibeatz wrote: # NEVER open a conversation with "ooooh nice rack" lol it might sound like a complement but it gives the game away too easily and is more likely to offend cos its too crude.
To be fair Dyspraxics by nature, and I don't know if this is a generalisation, I don't think are lecherous people obesssed by a womans body. I'm not.
Pixibeatz wrote: # even if you have low self esteem there is something that your friends even if you only have one like about you, find out what that is and try and use that.
And if you don't have any friends how can you find out what it is and what kind of things should they look for?
Pixibeatz wrote: # if you are looking for a particular sort of girl e.g. a sci fi fan or a rock chick, go places where they might be, I struggle to find people i really click with and i go to an alternative rock night weekly and let me tell you there are plenty of lovely people who are just as shy or clueless or low on self esteem as any of us.
Pixibeatz wrote: # unless u meet in a sports bar try not to talk too much about sport and cars unless she's in footy kit lol, try movies, funny stuff you've heard, if u can't think of any that happened to you try reading msn news b4 u got out.
Both sound sensible. But again it is getting of square one. How can one find out what things your town has?
Pixibeatz wrote: # often i find people rush into things, if you are shy just try to get their interest enought to add them on face book and invite them out some time
I am not shy but I am quiet and that is why I find I am the opposite of someone who rushes in. I am scared of making a tit of myself and doing something I shouldn't, I guess.
Pixibeatz wrote: # biology research shows guys and girls both like novelty, so if theres something special about you that makes you proud, mention it but don't go on and on. for example i am a dj so i usually mention that, well i use it to help make friends.
Again people with low self esteem may find it hard to think of what that could be. What kind of things could they think of? Not much makes me proud because I cannot think of anything special about me.
Pixibeatz wrote: # carry a cigarette lighter when out, even if you don't smoke and the girl you like or spot doesn't smoke, the generosity of lending the lighter might make you more memorable to one of her girly mates. i know lots of guys and girls who have low opinions of themselves and wouldn't know where to start, there is hope, some how it will happen
Won't the girl who smokes think your weird for carrying a ciggy lighter when you don't smoke?
mscleverclogs
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Re: any help me about chatting 2 women

Post by mscleverclogs »

Little Miss Anxious wrote:Thanks very much WTT but I think he wants to split with me. I text his sister a few times yesterday and before asking What he said he said to her before he went to his grans and told her it was important. I sent that text to her twise and not long after my boyfriend rings me acting pissed off saying "Now you have really ***** off I cant go two days without you hassling me and didn't I tell you 3times not to contact my family under any circumstances which is what you just did! "my sister is very ill and you have just upset her! " I don't need anyone to make me happy! "If anyone has put me into a bad mood its you! " I have a problem with everything about you, everything about you annoys me! "Why don't you just leave me alone and not bother me again, don't ever ring me or text me again! " I don't want you to come down to Mayo untill I am on my new course and am earning money! I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now! "Why don't you go and find someone else! "I don't want to be with a person who is very concerned about me! "I bet Gary is there and there must be something going on with you too "Gary is a very good close friend of mine and want us to just be friends no more and he is trying to keep Alex my boyfriend and I together and happy. He loves both of us as a friend. Anyway towards the end of the conversation he said "Im thinking of breaking up with you at the moment! "I don't know what I want! "I need a few days or a while to cool off and I will think about it! dont contact me untill I contact you!" I said fine even though I sent a letter to him in the post before I got his phone call and I text him after the phone call trying to remind him of all the good things I have done for him and another text remindind him that I remember all the things he done for me and I wrote a list about them. Whats gonna happen now and what do I do? I stoped him from hating himself and self harming, I took a day off work when he was ill coz he asked me too, I have listened to his family asking me personal questions about Alexs depression and why did Alex self harm and they said we are soo happy that you managed to stop him from self harming and I don't know where he would be without you? his parents said. Alex and his parents and sister think very highly of me and see me as a part of their family and they are very fond of me. Im not going to go into to this but I gave Alex money to help keep him safe so guys could protect him after they get the cash, I cheered him up by hugging him and holding and comforting him when he was upset or felt low in his self and told me he didn't want to die, I sent him credit, Checked up on him on the phone to see if he is alright, Looked for out of town accommodation in Sligo for us even though he decided to stay in Mayo when I told him a woman is gong to help us find a place out of Sligo town and my instructor asked me to tell alex to come back to Sligo and I begged my instructor to keep paying him even though he was in mayo. He was working at home but I fond out that was only supposed to last for a few weeks untill we got accommodation. i gave him and his family gifts, Listened to him cry about his dog dying on the phone and I was being as understanding and compassionate as I could be.Alex wanted me to get a transfer for him to Mayo and whenever things went wrong he took his frustration out on me and said "I don't need your help and I don't want it! "I don't want to be happy you are not helping me at all with your saying! "I can come up with my own ideas! "what have you ever done for me! "I don't trust anyone in sligo except you. "Your mum is trying to control you and I am trying to encourage you to stand up to her! "My family love you like their own daughter and they really respect you! After that fallout he text me that message I put on the forum about how he whishes i was there???? Well before that he tried to ring me a couple of times when my phone was off a few hourse after that incident and text me - I love you I am very depressed. Wb
This guy sounds very confused but be aware as I have met people like this who really drain you. He feels sorry for himself and does not really appreciate you for helping him.
I think it would do you good to just stay away for a while as you are not giving him that space he is asking for. Absense makes the heart grow fonder. You have to be strong and leave well alone. If he loves you he will come back. But you need to flip the switch, I think that is the term. Meaning you need to take a step back and allow him to want you or miss you because right now you are doing the opersite.
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