Dypraxia (your story)

[Calm]

Hi guys I wanted to start this topic mainly because I am curious about those of you who have Dyspraxia like myself. Although the condition isn't rare it is still not a very well understood condition even those who are working with those who have learning difficulties.

Well to start off with I am 25 years old now, adopted and I was diagnosed with having both Dyslexia and Dyspraxia at 9 years old. Apparently my mother knew I had some problems at a young age, my feet were flat (I have insoles for my flat feet) and I walked with my foot sticking out even at age 3. When I got into school I started having problems especially in PE, I could barely catch a ball or kick one proprely typically most of class picked up on my poor performance in sports so I was usually last to be chosen on a team. I would try and somehow find a way to avoid doing PE. I was nicknamed frog feet in the gym class (no hiding my feet) and I had some embarrasing experiences where the gym teacher forced me to get into a certain position and during a swimming class I couldn't swim so the teacher pulled me with a rope around my waist in front of the whole class. I remember when I was quite young I had (then) weak muscle tone so I went physiotherapy for a few months? or weeks I can't remember but I did a lot of exercises to improve my co-ordination. I also noticed in school and through out college as well I struggled more than most in the class and in finishing work/projects. You know like appearing like the dumb one in the class. Through out my early teens I went to Dyslexia classes (sometimes on the weekends) and this really helped me, my English wasn't that bad but my maths ability is poor. Tests have shown my maths age is way below that of an adult something like maths age of an 8 year old. As I left school early (due to the teachers not giving me help) I was taught at home and as a result I never did any GCSE's which most people said I would struggle with. Some years later though I did do a GCSE English class in college and gained a C in it not bad. This maybe related to Dyslexia but I had my eye tested around 13 or 14 years old and while I could read okay I was told I read way quicker with glasses and I that I would miss out sentences without glasses on. Getting into a proper job has been a joke I have more work experience than anything else.

The good thing is though things are way better than before I would say my Dyslexia/Dyspraxia thanks to the early help I had isn't too bad and is now mild. Through the job centre I saw the disability advisor where I was put onto a course with people with learning difficulties many are in their late teens, twenties, others in their 30's. I enjoyed the course and it was good to be in place where I can be in and relate to others who have some type of disability. The only annoying thing is a lot people still say there is nothing wrong with me even those who work with people with learning difficulties don't understand Dyspraxia well and when they ask me what it's about I don't find it easy to describe. I stil have flat feet and walking with my right foot stick out but my muscles aren't so weak anymore infact I am getting pretty ripped from decication in the gym with lifting weights. The main thing for me is to get into work at the moment.

Welll that's the short version about me I would hear about anyone else's story as well.

[Ldyalb]

Hi, I'm 21 and was diagnosed last month with Dyspraxia. I also suspect Dyscalculia as well. I was quite normal as a small child (was 15 days late, born by forceps) but apart from that I walked and talked at a time that is considered 'normal'. I was fine at school academically but was bad at PE and Maths and I found making friends and fitting in difficult. I was teased in PE so much that my mother had me exempted from sports day when I was 6 because the previous year everyone had laughed and pointed when I came last. I also struggled with swimming, I can swim in the sense that I don't sink in water but I swim in a very bizarre fashion which makes my bf laugh (it's like doggy style but I spread my fingers out and flap my hands, I also flap my arms when running). I struggled to complete work on time and I often forgot instructions, when I got to secondary school it was easier as lesson plans were written on the blackboard. When I started at secondary school (went to Grammar school) I was told I was very gifted with English but poor at Maths, they also warned me I'd be good at science until GCSEs when lack of my maths skills would cause me to struggle (this was true, got As in year 10 and Es in year 11 in Physics, luckily Biology and Chemistry saved me and I got a BB in the end). They also had to teach me some very good organisational skills as I went to pieces at first (never being in the right place at the right time, never having the right homework, books etc). As a result I'm now very organised and plan meticulously in advance. (I have to lay out my clothes the night before for example).

After I graduated in July I have struggled to find a full time job, I worked at Lush for a few months as a christmas temp, two weeks later I got a job at a local butchers. It's hard with my difficulties, dropping things etc but generally I'm coping. I'm still not getting much luck with graduate jobs, I can now mention my difficulties on application forms, I'm hoping to put a positive spin on them - I've had to overcome them as much as possible and I'm so organised which is good in itself, even more so when you realise that I have a condition which makes me naturally disorganised.

One of the main probs with dyspraxia is the 'hidden aspect', it's hard to explain. I don't think my friends understand, my best friends response to diagnosis was 'aww bless ya'. I have been unable to use the job centre when I've been unemployed as I live with my boyfriend and am therefore not entitled to benefits - does this change if you have a disability? Because now I'm going to find finding work harder with a disability (I want to leave the butchers, everyone is lovely but the owner is so horrible, yesterday he told me to organise myself better when he was passing me things (he hadn't given me time to think if I was normal, let alone for someone who needs a bit more time to plan their actions, he doesn't know about my dyspraxia, I think he'd fire me if he did so I'm not telling him) and he also told me I'd need to be more organised once I have kids. So he's horrible and sexist to boot!!! (everyone hates him, he criticises us in front of customers etc, says the customers are only getting good service because he's there, he can't get decent staff etc). The job centre also said to me in august that because I can't claim JSA I also can't use their services to help me look for work, hopefully now I'm diagnosed they'll have to offer me more help.

I have to go to work now but this is an interesting thread and I will follow with interest

ps: good luck finding a job, I know how hard it can be!

[annie49]

[quote][/quote]I was interested in what you said about the job centre.You will be able to use them even if you are living with your boy friend.The fact that you are not getting any money from them does not disbar you from using them to find a job.You should leave that horrid butcher.Is there nothing else you can find?

[agsiul]

I'd agree with annie. that butcher sounds like a gobshite. definately look for something else. Will talk more tomorrow. Too tired now. stressed after meeting to see if we could stop the government/politicians (yeay. I think I spelled that right for the first time ever...assuming it's right) undoing all the good work we've been doing in education in the last 10 years.

[madyotto]

i totaly agree but you should tell the butcher about your dyspraxia there are guide lines he has to follow and if he was to sack you he would not only be found liable in court but would also be braking many laws.

this is a grate post and i will post my story now

[madyotto]

Me and my dyspraxia
My primary school chapter


I am 23 and have known that I have had dyspraxia since I was very young (not sure on exactly when)

Through my time at primary school I was always looked at as stupid/silly, like many other I was good at maths in my head but putting it on paper was a massive task for me.

My English was poor writing letters and numbers upside down or back to front.

My time there was always lonely (not because I was necessarily alone but because (I feel most alone when I am around more than 3-4 people)

However I found myself attached to one girl in particular this providing a good and easy way to avoid the roughness within the lads, she was all but my only close friend throughout primary school.

I also had problems in assembly poor attention span leaving my mind wondering and liable to distract others, I also had problems with my joints in my legs hurting due to sitting with my legs crossed for more than a short period, this could cause me to distract others or disrupt the whole assembly knowing I would get sent out to the comfort of a chair.
I eventually got help in school via one to one lessons to help with my reading writing and grammar, this all helped massively leaving huge improvements in all areas other than my writing that is still unreadable to most.

I was always left with a very strong feeling that I was always getting into trouble for things that were out of my control, and I couldn’t explain this myself. (This was very hard for me and at times it got me very frustrated and others it could get me down.) This also could have big effect on how I spoke to or acted around my friend and teachers)
I also had big problems when eating my lunch in the dining room, as the added stress and confusion caused by the mass of people made me more confused than normal, and I was never the best eater in the world.

I also had quite server sleeping problems throughout primary and secondary school leaving me mentally tired and lacking enthusiasm.

But my biggest discomfort was (of Corse) sport having mega problems with getting dressed in the group atmosphere, I also found that the forced competition between me and my peers made this even more uncomfortable than the lack of co-ordination and spatial awareness did.

Never even to this day being able to hit a ball with a rounder’s bat or a baseball bat or being able to run fast or jump far which left me with lowered confidence and self-esteem. (Which did trigger bullying in both verbal and physical forms?)
The last year of primary was even lonelier for me as the gap between the lads and girls became more prominent, me and my best mate became more distant, so I spent the last year or so trying to play football with the lads which just triggered more of the bullying because of my lack of ability to play, yet I would still try to play as I would make any attempt to fit in.




My Story Part 2 secondary school and onwards.


Secondary school was tuff I started school with few friends I found myself with a constant struggle to keep friends and also to express any anger towards these friends when it was due no matter how small.

However it soon became apparent that bullying wasn’t going to stop here either so I developed my defence tactic’s, this could mean my response to verbal abuse was to give it back in a very quick and witty way.

always causing the bully more aggression and anger I would then let it get to a physical level, I now realise that I did this so that there was a visible call for help so it was not just verbal abuse that was never given while any staff where about, me causing more of a seen and sometimes taking chase with the bully in toe meant that the teachers would ask the question giving me one less thing to worry about.

But as a result of this over time I got accused of starting it/winding them up.
My strong subjects where maths drama science tech and I.T.
In my first year I joined the drama tech’s (sound and lighting crew)

I enjoyed this as I was working with a small team and I was always very interested in electrics and mechanics some would say a natural.
in my later years in the tech group I became a very valued member of the team.

in year 10 I became head of the tech’s having to keep the other group members and all the sound and lighting equipment in control and manageable for all, helped massively with my physical organization meaning I was slowly improving at not losing things that are under my nose, which I always did and still do find very frustrating.

In my first few years of secondary school I was actually quite enthusiastic about the sports lessons.
yet I shortly learnt that this would not last as my interest in the sports lessons turned out to be purely down to the new activity’s and not the sports lessons them self’s.

this shortly lead to me making excuses trying to get excused from P.E lessons, surly this would never last and my excuses got listened to less and less leaving me feeling so push into a corner, to the point I would skip school for the P.E lessons or I would go and point blank refuse to take part.

which in turn resulted in me receiving more grief from the teachers and the strong feeling that I hadn’t done anything wrong or didn’t know why I despised these lessons nor why they left me with some of the extreme emotion’s that I didn’t understand but left me feeling low and down also the P.E lessons triggered a good majority of the later bullying.
I was only able to compete with the others in cross country as I had been training for the local county of Cheshire (the vale royal cross country club)running an average of 3 miles per
race/fun run/training , at least 2 times a week.

In the last year I cane 6th out of the year which was known as the most sporty year at the school for many years, this was a huge achievement for me and a grate boost in confidence.

I would say I had a reasonably increased chance of not getting distracted or causing trouble when I was in a lesson with a female I was close to, rather than the awkward tension between me and the lads I could never click with yet I still found a constant compelling motion to feel accepted by the lads especially the more popular one’s

I was so easily lead because of the wanting to be accepted which lead me into lots of trouble
The Aid I received in secondary school:

All of my books were kept in school so I couldn’t forget them and then get in for not having them.

I was often able to have the help of a teaching assistant not assigned to me but because I was in most bottom sets and she focused on a few people.

I also had some physiotherapy. (not 100% how long for but was around 2 weeks)

I periodical had special needs lessons throughout but these were not constant more as it was needed
I was able to use a laptop from year 9 (3rd year of secondary school) onwards however this had to be supplied by mum and dad.

Also as from year 9 I was designated a teacher to act as a mentor I was given the choice of a few teacher that I had accepted, this was very possibly the biggest help I had during school and the one thing I regret them not enforcing this from day one.(very possibly the reason I made it through school without being excluded.)

Also from year nine onwards I had a “GET OUT OF LESSON FREE CARD” enabling me to remove myself from potentially explosive situations. (also some of the time this prevented a bad day turning into a black day as I like to call them.)
I also had the use of a computer form some of my exams and extra time.

Again as in primary I had epic problems with sitting through an assembly as my mind would wonder and I would get distracted easily by others looking for a reaction in me which they easily got.

My time at school as a whole was very traumatic and nothing less than horrific, I can still struggle emotionally when I replay my time there and find it very distressing to do so


After school

I finally left the hell hole and entered the wide world walking straight into a job with my uncle doing property maintenance.
I enjoyed this as like many others it was a two man job meaning I had no problems with confusion due to being in a group. (I did this for 18 months approx.)

And walked into a job fitting windows this was also a 2 man job and lasted 18 months.

I than tried a factory job working in a chicken factory, in my opinion they failed to adjust aspects of my job to suite my condition so needless to say I ended up losing my temper resulting in me getting the sack after just 3 months and being removed of site.

I then tried my hand as a bin man which I did enjoy but they couldn’t offer constant work and I could afford to carry on like this.

I then worked on a farm for 18 months I liked this as a job having time with the animals and small and often distractions getting on and of the tractors diggers and much more I quit this in the end because there was only a position for someone who could do the 90 hours a week I had held up doing for the 18 months previous.

Last and least I was a van lad doing deliveries all over the north of UK this was a nice slow paced job of which I had no problems with other than the poor money result of this job.

Beside the jobs outside of work I enjoy:

Running, biking, canoeing, golf and sea fishing
with my preference of sport being all of the long distance type or slower paced however you want to look at it.

I have keen interests in:

Electrics, mechanics, animals, reflexology, bonsai’s, cacti (cactus’s) and cars
I held a driving licence for 2 years all.

But since school I have had big problems with a few aspects of my dyspraxia getting much worse like my sleeping problems and short term memory and much more .

I am currently struggling with this and trying to work through these things one at a time.

I also have big problem with relationships simply not having the confidence and self-esteem which has made a good few relationships hard things like my lack of ability to be able to make decisions for myself as easy as most this put added pressure on many aspects of a relationship and at times I have blamed myself for some of this.

sorry for it being so long this was one i had made earlier lol