girlfriends

[Alex]

I believe that proberly the best girl/relationship you could have is with a girl that is dyspraxic because you understand each other and its easier to talk to them anyone aggree on this?

[Creative]

As long as the person you go out with understands your dyspraxia then it's ok. But I always worry that if I had a boyfriend who was dyspraxic also then it would be difficult to get household chores done, the food shopping and driving etc.

[Alex]

I would find it someone out who was dyspraxic because then i wouldnt feel preessured and nervous in frount of them plus we both understand what we have because we have exactly the same problem

[david456]

Hi,

Just moved the thread to the relationships section, as I thought it was the best section to bit it in.

[WTCCFan]

I would find it someone out who was dyspraxic because then i wouldnt feel preessured and nervous in frount of them plus we both understand what we have because we have exactly the same problem

I know what you mean. I would imagine it would be a very intomodating position to be in going out with someone who is very intelectually strong indeed and capable of completing tasks without problems and to a good standard. Such a man or woman embody the things that Dyspraxics on average I think have an issue with and have to cope best they can with. I know I am not that intelectually strong (i.e wouldn't know how to handle myself in a difficult position and perhaps easily get bothered by the words people say - intellectually strong people I think do handle themselves well under pressure, know how to solve the problem, and I think are intellectually able to get the better of people.)

But at the same time I think, and perhaps the idealist in me is coming out when I say this, people who would be very intollerant of Dyspraxics are rare.

[Alex]

completely aggree but at the same time most people who view dysprxics may think we are thick now iam not being big headed when i say this iam pritty smart i know my stuff but most people that view me think i know nothing but i prove them wrong when i say what i know but iam definatly going to go for someone dyspraxic or someone who truely understands what we have I think Vikki (the girl that may like me) does i have known her for 3 yrs and she is fantastic

[WTCCFan]

completely aggree but at the same time most people who view dysprxics may think we are thick now iam not being big headed when i say this iam pritty smart i know my stuff but most people that view me think i know nothing but i prove them wrong when i say what i know but iam definatly going to go for someone dyspraxic or someone who truely understands what we have I think Vikki (the girl that may like me) does i have known her for 3 yrs and she is fantastic

The outward signs of Dyspraxia though I think vary according to the individuals own situation. Because I think I am fairly good with computers, because I am not only able to set to work on a computer doing a task a colleague has asked me to do for him or her (and often get praise for doing it well), or even teach someone how to use a computer, I personally don't think my outward signs are that immediately apparent. My biggest problem is fine motor control (I have never been able to tie my laces properly) and memory retention. I cannot carry a message nor a piece of complex information for long. Therefore, for Dyspraxics like me, though clearly maybe not yourself because despite being able to prove people wrong every time they still seem to see you as lacking intellecually, I don't think it ist as if people actually notice much anyway (if at all) and probably have enough to go on to make cruel judgements about my intellect.

I think, going on that, a knowledge of computers is a powerful ability to have as far as coming over as capable is concerned.

But I can see your point of view perfectly regarding dating a fellow dyspraxic. I think what you could say to further clarify your feeling that I see is that fellow Dyspraxics are more sympathetic to the barriers we face when coping with day-to-day life.

[Alex]

Its interesting to know though that a girl with dyspraxia may have more in common with you or she may not but at least you wouldnt feel starange but i would feel like a hudge wheight has been lifted off our shoulders because you wouldnt have to explain your dyspraxia because she already has it i met a girl who was dyspraxic 10 yrs ago while on holiday we got on like a house on fire i remember we had loads of water fights in the pool but we got on so well i think she wrote to me once but completely forgot to write back would be great to see her again

[WTCCFan]

Its interesting to know though that a girl with dyspraxia may have more in common with you or she may not but at least you wouldnt feel starange but i would feel like a hudge wheight has been lifted off our shoulders because you wouldnt have to explain your dyspraxia because she already has it i met a girl who was dyspraxic 10 yrs ago while on holiday we got on like a house on fire i remember we had loads of water fights in the pool but we got on so well i think she wrote to me once but completely forgot to write back would be great to see her again

I totally see your point and you do make a vey good case there.

But don't you think maybe one or two bad experiences has perhaps made you a little scared to try the nice girls who don't have dyspraxia? I would do the same in your position so don't be hesitant to say so.

I think one god thing we dyspraxics do well is "compensate". I have had the first version (the easier version) of Dr Kawashimas Brain Training on my Nintendo DS Lite and I do the three test challenge every day apart from Sunday..which is my day off ( ). One test is to remember as many words as I can and write them down. I do well because I see the words in pairs (two on each row) in the list and try to see how the two words would look. I will give you two examples. If I see on the first line the words "Dove" and "Shed" (because their all 4-letter words) I could see a Dove sitting on a shed. Or if I see the words "Moat" and "Wire" I can imagine a moat full of wires.

The point I am trying to make is if you are hestitant and a bit scared to ask a nice girl who doesn't have it that you have dyspraxia and you are scared that she will see you as a lesser person for it, you could always tell her you compensate quite well - because I know you can compensate in other ways to achieve the same goal Alex. Because you and I are like two peas in the same pod mate. I am very confident that if you were faced with a problem if you thought of other ways to solve it you could actually solve it.

[Alex]

very good point well made mate i have to say iam scared to tell people about me dyspraxia due to the fact like you say they may view us or see us in a different light i think iam not sure that i told you about a girl called Hayley she really liked me but i thought when i told her what i had she just wanted to be freinds even though i said it wont effect anything i mean i really try hard with women and with what you told me with Gemma you do to try hard with women but let us hope we get somewhere with them soon

[david456]

From a personal point of view, I feel someone should like you for you. It shouldn't matter if you have Dyspraxia or not. I agree It may be easier to find a partner with Dyspraxia. However, that said there are millions of young ladies out there who will like you for you, want to know you for you and understand you.

[Alex]

Thats the thing though it doesnt matter weather you tell the girl your dyspraxic they will understand but properly they may not understand fully i mean at the moment there is a girl at work that I like but iam going to play it cool i think she likes me too but lets wait and see

[WTCCFan]

We forget of course one tiny thing. For some of us they are that down-right unlucky and have so little hope their might as well be posters on every lamp-post that contain a rather unflattering image of us with words that say underneath:

"WOMEN OF THE UK STAY AWAY FROM THIS MAN AND TREAT HIM LIKE A CREEP!"

Because for all the bullshit about getting to know a girls interests before creating enogh trust about you in her to ask her out, you don't even have the certainty of knowing you will get a positive answer.

I just asked a girl I want about her interests and asked her if she was a movie buff and when I asked her about us going to see one she said it was difficult because she is busy. "Busy" tends to be the female code in my view for "I don't want to know you and you frankly scare me".

How do you come back from that? I don't see a way.

[Alex]

i couldnt really say mate your right in saying "busy" is the female code for i dont want too get to know you its one of those things i have said priviously in our conversations i think some not all women but it is the varst majority that think he walks funny or he trips and constantly bumping into things and you try and talk to them after building up the courage and they sometimes wont give you the time of day update on the lady situation there is a girl at work that fancies me iam absolutely sure of it another lifeguard called Nikki really nice girl i make her laugh all the time i had staff training last night and she eyed me up a bit personally mate we try to work hard and be nice to women but sometimes it doesnt get us anywhere some women just go for boys for the hell of it and i think to myself what has he got that i havnt? i hope this isnt to confussing mate Alex

[WTCCFan]

Another issue I have is the media and press. They do NOT in anyway reflect how women really think, feel and act.

Every website you log on to, every TV channel you switch on to, every page you turn it seems every thing is geared toward the issue of relationships. It is wall to wall coverage on the subject. We either get advice on how to woo women and be succesfull, we hear about what men and women need and want from each other, and of course we hear about not only the love lives of celebs but also of the public on shows like Jeremy Kyle when they air their dirty linen.

This gives me the impression women are always interested in creating relationships and would be open and also happy to let a man fancy her. Believe me, they ain't. Going on my recent failures, fancying a man and letting him fancy her is the last thing on her mind. They are very cold to the idea that a man actually fancies her. They are always offended and made angry by it. I a going to remain single for the rest of my sad, unlovable life.

That is why I am very surprised that this Nikki eyed you up. Go cautiously though. Don't take it too much that she fancies you and don't be sad at any knock-back.