Finding a job

Discussions relating to jobs and working, including finding work, interviews, the work place etc.

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EnigmaticLila
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Finding a job

Post by EnigmaticLila » Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:58 am

So I'm finding it really difficult to get work as a lot of the job opportunities in my country require that I have reliable transport or a driver's licence. Given where I'm staying there are no bus routes or trains, etc. I'm relying on my boyfriend at the moment to drive and drop my places but he has varsity soon and I can't rely on him then. I want to do work online but have no idea where to look. My mom has bashed all my ideas down and I'm feeling quite despondent. The places in walking distance require skills that I don't have (being a waitress is not in my capabilities) however my mother doesn't seem to understand how hard carrying things, remembering where to go or who ordered what really is for me and argues with me contantly over what jobs I should be doing. I just completed my psychology honours degree but I didn't get into masters. Can anyone help me with job suggestions (what might be best to look for given the motor planning issues) or possibly online work? I can work out a lift club or something but the entry level jobs I've thought about doing are beyond my abilities.

CountryGirl
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Re: Finding a job

Post by CountryGirl » Fri Jan 25, 2019 3:23 pm

Hey there!

I don't have a driving licence either, so I understand how difficult it is to find a job with limited transport. Is it possible for you to start taking the steps towards getting your driving licence? If so, then it would be a good idea to start as soon as possible. The sooner you can get your licence, the easier it will be to get a job. In the meantime, here are some suggestions to help you find a job:

-Visit local places and ask if they have any jobs available, even if there aren't any advertised, this shows you're willing and you may just get lucky. (This is how I found my current job)
-Check out the local newspaper for job vacancies.
-Visit job finding websites (Indeed, for example). Not only can you find job vacancies in your area, but if you can make an account and include your CV, employers can find you that way.
-If you have Facebook, try posting in a local job advertising group and explain what you're looking for. A lot of jobs are advertised on social media so you might be able to find something there. You may even be able to find a job which involves working from home, so you would not need transport.
-Keep your options open. Even if you don't have the skills for a particular job, there might be opportunities for training. You might be able to do an apprenticeship or traineeship (the money isn't usually great but you will be able to gain the skills and qualifications required for the job and it could lead to a full-time career).

I hope this helps, good luck with your job hunting!

Tom fod
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Re: Finding a job

Post by Tom fod » Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:50 pm

Hi Lila and welcome . Thank you also for your thoughtful contributions to others' posts here.

I don't drive either and working in food service/kitchen really would bee a disaster for me too so have always avoided. Has your Mom been able to make any sensible suggestions or at least be mindful that this is hardly helping your confidence. It may be worth making this point, ideally in a sensitive manner, but you might have to be more blunt for it to get through!

What ideas for online work have you considered and have you done any serious research into what you might do and how to go about this?
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

EnigmaticLila
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Re: Finding a job

Post by EnigmaticLila » Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:23 pm

Tom fod wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:50 pm
Hi Lila and welcome . Thank you also for your thoughtful contributions to others' posts here.

I don't drive either and working in food service/kitchen really would be a disaster for me too so have always avoided. Has your Mom been able to make any sensible suggestions or at least be mindful that this is hardly helping your confidence. It may be worth making this point, ideally in a sensitive manner, but you might have to be more blunt for it to get through!

What ideas for online work have you considered and have you done any serious research into what you might do and how to go about this?
My mom isn't sensible at all. She keeps wanting me to do exactly the things I'm not confident to do or shooting down my ideas. She doesn't respond much to anything I tell her about the stuff I'm struggling with. Going to OT has made my emotional state that of a 5 year old and I haven't been pleased with how slow progress is with managing it. I've tried explaining things to her but she just tells me I'm making excuses and that I'm an adult now so she can't just treat me like a child and a whole lot of other mean things. I've decided to move in with my boyfriend to just be able to breathe.

I've really thought about doing like virtual assistance work and maybe doing content writing for someone. I started my own website ages ago but done nothing with it because I've been unsure how to get revenue from it since I don't want to just sell anything. I really want to do things related to health and wellbeing - on a mental/emotional level. I'm good with accounting programs (I have done books for my family and before choosing a Bsc undergrad I was offered an accounting scholarship) and having battled with organisational issues forever and a day, I've somehow gotten the ability to organise/arrange stuff for others - just not for me (although I suppose arranging files is not the same as trying to clean and sort my room). So there's really a lot I have to offer but I don't know who to approach.

allesandro
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Re: Finding a job

Post by allesandro » Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:41 am

Hi Lila, I don't drive either, and I used to have the same arguments with my sister. She used to harass me about being a waiter? "Why can't you just be a waiter?" "Why can't you just be a bartender?" It's maddening to have to try to explain that to someone who is not dyspraxic. I've had clients who work from home doing customer service things: i.e. explaining how products work and are assembled, you might look into that type of thing. There are a number of companies that are offering people the opportunity to work from home now. At least in the US, that is. I'm not sure what country you're from, you didn't specify. The guy who runs the US dyspraxic foundation is from the UK but talks about how he chose Chicago as a place of residence because of their transportation system. I chose Philadelphia for the same reason, my home town had no public transit. Just something to think about. I wish you well. Good luck

EnigmaticLila
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Re: Finding a job

Post by EnigmaticLila » Sat Jan 26, 2019 8:32 am

allesandro wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:41 am
Hi Lila, I don't drive either, and I used to have the same arguments with my sister. She used to harass me about being a waiter? "Why can't you just be a waiter?" "Why can't you just be a bartender?" It's maddening to have to try to explain that to someone who is not dyspraxic. I've had clients who work from home doing customer service things: i.e. explaining how products work and are assembled, you might look into that type of thing. There are a number of companies that are offering people the opportunity to work from home now. At least in the US, that is. I'm not sure what country you're from, you didn't specify. The guy who runs the US dyspraxic foundation is from the UK but talks about how he chose Chicago as a place of residence because of their transportation system. I chose Philadelphia for the same reason, my home town had no public transit. Just something to think about. I wish you well. Good luck
Trying to explain what I have to people is maddening... "but I'm clumsy too" "everyone has issues like that" it's just like trying to explain if I put 110% effort into something, focus and all, somehow there will be an error and I know that that's not normal.

I'm from South Africa... there's not much of a public transport system and when I'm in walking distance of a bus route, it's unreliable due to strikes or the drivers skipping stops or missing shifts. Unfortunately I don't have things like a medical aid (a service we pay for monthly just to avoid the appalling government hospitals) or a supportive family. I've lost a lot of money trying to figure out what was wrong with me only to have doctors and psychiatrists tell me I have borderline personality disorder (despite my lack of some of the key elements) and prescribe me antidepressants and send me off to psychotherapy. Eventually I found a cbt therapist interning at my university and last year September I found an occupational therapist who told me for once its not all a personality problem but that I have "the worst motor planning" she'd seen and sensory integration issues, although initially during the interview with her, she said she also would just send me off to a psychologist given how much I've gone through. Sorry for rambling...

There isn't anything reliable transport wise across the country and its not safe to walk everywhere. I mean I could catch ubers but I'd need a higher paying job to offset those costs since even short distances exceeded what I'd earn tutoring for 2 hours - when I was tutoring in person. Like now I tutor online part time but there isn't a market for that in South Africa....

For now my boyfriend can drive me around but he starts varsity soon...

allesandro
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Re: Finding a job

Post by allesandro » Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:00 pm

EnigmaticLila wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 8:32 am
allesandro wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:41 am
Hi Lila, I don't drive either, and I used to have the same arguments with my sister. She used to harass me about being a waiter? "Why can't you just be a waiter?" "Why can't you just be a bartender?" It's maddening to have to try to explain that to someone who is not dyspraxic. I've had clients who work from home doing customer service things: i.e. explaining how products work and are assembled, you might look into that type of thing. There are a number of companies that are offering people the opportunity to work from home now. At least in the US, that is. I'm not sure what country you're from, you didn't specify. The guy who runs the US dyspraxic foundation is from the UK but talks about how he chose Chicago as a place of residence because of their transportation system. I chose Philadelphia for the same reason, my home town had no public transit. Just something to think about. I wish you well. Good luck
Trying to explain what I have to people is maddening... "but I'm clumsy too" "everyone has issues like that" it's just like trying to explain if I put 110% effort into something, focus and all, somehow there will be an error and I know that that's not normal.

I'm from South Africa... there's not much of a public transport system and when I'm in walking distance of a bus route, it's unreliable due to strikes or the drivers skipping stops or missing shifts. Unfortunately I don't have things like a medical aid (a service we pay for monthly just to avoid the appalling government hospitals) or a supportive family. I've lost a lot of money trying to figure out what was wrong with me only to have doctors and psychiatrists tell me I have borderline personality disorder (despite my lack of some of the key elements) and prescribe me antidepressants and send me off to psychotherapy. Eventually I found a cbt therapist interning at my university and last year September I found an occupational therapist who told me for once its not all a personality problem but that I have "the worst motor planning" she'd seen and sensory integration issues, although initially during the interview with her, she said she also would just send me off to a psychologist given how much I've gone through. Sorry for rambling...

There isn't anything reliable transport wise across the country and its not safe to walk everywhere. I mean I could catch ubers but I'd need a higher paying job to offset those costs since even short distances exceeded what I'd earn tutoring for 2 hours - when I was tutoring in person. Like now I tutor online part time but there isn't a market for that in South Africa....

For now my boyfriend can drive me around but he starts varsity soon...
Oh, I see. I've only know one person from South Africa, so I know very little about how things work there. I'm quite a bit older than you so I didn't find out I had ADD until I was in my thirties, and dyspraxia until I was in my 60's. Most people in the US don't even know what dyspraxia is. I'm a psychologist myself and never heard of it till a year ago. It does lend itself quite well to professional practice because we tend to see the whole picture and to think in ways that clients hadn't considered. I think you''re in the right field if you can just hang in there through graduate school. In the interim I know how maddening it is to try to explain the symptoms of dyspraxia to people who can do the things that challenge us so, with little or no effort. I've heard people say, "you can teach a monkey to drive," and things like that. People cannot move beyond the space they are in.
Right now I'm trying to get into telehealth, which is doing therapy online to avoid having to travel, work for someone with a complicated computer system (people get really angry when you don't get the sequence of what they consider to be a simple computer system," and having to endure a climate that is brutally hot in summer and brutally cold in winter. I can't handle extremes, especially heat. At least you know what your condition is at an early age, and I think you are in a field in which you will do well. I myself had a successful private practice for over 15yrs. Hang in there and good luck. If I can ever be of any help, please let me know.

Ram
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Re: Finding a job

Post by Ram » Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:04 pm

allesandro wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:41 am
"Why can't you just be a waiter?" "Why can't you just be a bartender?"

It must be infuriating when a relative says 'why don't/can't you just...?'. I hate that phrase so much. It's usually the mark of a know-it-all, who hasn't put much thought into the matter at all!
Last edited by Ram on Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

EnigmaticLila
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Re: Finding a job

Post by EnigmaticLila » Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:10 pm

Ram wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:04 pm
allesandro wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:41 am
"Why can't you just be a waiter?" "Why can't you just be a bartender?"

I really hate that phrase 'why don't/can't you just...?'. It's usually the mark of a know-it-all, who hasn't put much thought into the matter at all!
The other one I hate is "for such an intelligent girl, you're really stupid".

Ram
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Re: Finding a job

Post by Ram » Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:27 pm

It's a shame that your mother can't be more supportive. It seems to me that she wants you to take on the responsibility of being an adult, but she also still acting as if you have only the knowledge of a child. Her attitude is counter-productive, to say the least.

Anyway, reading your post I have a few suggestions for you with your knowledge of both accounting and psychology.

1. Get a fairly basic job in an office or auditing firm doing accounts. As well as this, do some professional accountancy qualifications (by part-time study). In the UK there is the Association of Accounting Technicians (at a more basic level) and the Association of Chartered Accountants (at a more advanced level). Is there anything similar in South Africa?

2. Do you think some kind of primaryschool teaching role might be suitable for you with your knowledgeof psychology? Obviously this would need further training. After a few years experience, you could move into either Special Needs education or Educational Psychology.

3. If you are willing to leave South Africa, you could get a job teaching English as a Foreign Language somewhere in Europe, Latin America or Asia. If you wish to do this, you would first need to do a very intensive one month course (CELTA or Trinity College TESOL Certificate).

Hope this gives you something to think about. As Alessandro has said, you are in quite a strong position. You have been diagnosed young and are well-qualified.

By the way, if your mother is unconvinced about the difficulties that you face as a dyspraxic, it might be worth attempting to persuade her to read some of the posts here.
Probably easier said than done though!

Some of are in the same age group as her (I'm 53 myself), and we might just be able to convince her that you aren't talking through your hat.

Ram
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Re: Finding a job

Post by Ram » Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:36 pm

[/quote]

The other one I hate is "for such an intelligent girl, you're really stupid".
[/quote]

I've experienced that one, too. Well not the girl bit as I'm male. :-D

I admit that I occasionally think that about people. But I have never voiced such a thought. Not being able to filter such a thought is realllllly dense.

EnigmaticLila
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Re: Finding a job

Post by EnigmaticLila » Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:45 pm

Ram wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:27 pm
It's a shame that your mother can't be more supportive. It seems to me that she wants you to take on the responsibility of being an adult, but she also still acting as if you have only the knowledge of a child. Her attitude is counter-productive, to say the least.

Anyway, reading your post I have a few suggestions for you with your knowledge of both accounting and psychology.

1. Get a fairly basic job in an office or auditing firm doing accounts. As well as this, do some professional accountancy qualifications (by part-time study). In the UK there is the Association of Accounting Technicians (at a more basic level) and the Association of Chartered Accountants (at a more advanced level). Is there anything similar in South Africa?

2. Do you think some kind of primaryschool teaching role might be suitable for you with your knowledgeof psychology? Obviously this would need further training. After a few years experience, you could move into either Special Needs education or Educational Psychology.

3. If you are willing to leave South Africa, you could get a job teaching English as a Foreign Language somewhere in Europe, Latin America or Asia. If you wish to do this, you would first need to do a very intensive one month course (CELTA or Trinity College TESOL Certificate).

Hope this gives you something to think about. As Alessandro has said, you are in quite a strong position. You have been diagnosed young and are well-qualified.

By the way, if your mother is unconvinced about the difficulties that you face as a dyspraxic, it might be worth attempting to persuade her to read some of the posts here.
Probably easier said than done though!

Some of are in the same age group as her (I'm 53 myself), and we might just be able to convince her that you aren't talking through your hat.
My mom has told me from a young age that I've been a burden and she wished I wasn't born because I trapped her here in South Africa.

My issue is getting into accounting jobs or reception work requires money that I don't have to do another course - low skill job market here is super saturated . I have an online tutoring job already so I'm not completely down on my luck, its just my mom is demanding that I have gotten myself a job from ladt year already even though I finished my honours in December.

I got offered a job like yesterday travelling and creating curriculums for schools world wide and it seems like an amazing opportunity so I'm thinking of taking it.

Ram
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Re: Finding a job

Post by Ram » Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:19 pm

EnigmaticLila wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:45 pm

My mom has told me from a young age that I've been a burden and she wished I wasn't born because I trapped her here in South Africa.................

I got offered a job like yesterday travelling and creating curriculums for schools world wide and it seems like an amazing opportunity so I'm thinking of taking it.
I am truly appalled to hear that your mother has been doing this to you from a young age. I am going to have to bluntly say that she sounds like a thoroughly toxic human being!

Anyway, it is good that you've moved in with your boy-friend as an escape route.

I can certainly see the attraction of the job offer that you mentioned. As well as escaping from your mother, it may be good for you to get out of South Africa. I have met a fair number of South Africans over the past few years (from all the main ethnic groups and political beliefs). All of them have one thing in common though. Thorough despair at the way the country has gone. It's a great shame because with the decent governing, it has all the ingredients of being a paradise!

EnigmaticLila
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Re: Finding a job

Post by EnigmaticLila » Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:30 pm

Ram wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:19 pm
EnigmaticLila wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:45 pm

My mom has told me from a young age that I've been a burden and she wished I wasn't born because I trapped her here in South Africa.................

I got offered a job like yesterday travelling and creating curriculums for schools world wide and it seems like an amazing opportunity so I'm thinking of taking it.
I am truly appalled to hear that your mother has been doing this to you from a young age. I am going to have to bluntly say that she sounds like a thoroughly toxic human being!

Anyway, it is good that you've moved in with your boy-friend as an escape route.

I can certainly see the attraction of the job offer that you mentioned. As well as escaping from your mother, it may be good for you to get out of South Africa. I have met a fair number of South Africans over the past few years (from all the main ethnic groups and political beliefs). All of them have one thing in common though. Thorough despair at the way the country has gone. It's a great shame because with the decent governing, it has all the ingredients of being a paradise!
I actually like it here. I know there's crime and corruption but I don't necessarily think its all going downhill. I don't know if governing alone would help though... its this defeated and powerless mindset that is a real problem. Lots of potential and hard working people all torn apart by political narratives... that's upsetting to me. Media wise everything has been black vs white and bemoaning white monopoly capital when its actually more foreign corporates exploiting the country... its a shame more people aren't aware of the actual threats.

I need to be away from my mom. She was getting better at a certain stage but now she just picks on me and her boyfriend joins in... Telling me I'm not responsible, that I take no initiative and I'm always making excuses. I'm done with it...

allesandro
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Re: Finding a job

Post by allesandro » Sun Jan 27, 2019 12:50 am

EnigmaticLila wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:30 pm
Ram wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:19 pm
EnigmaticLila wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:45 pm

My mom has told me from a young age that I've been a burden and she wished I wasn't born because I trapped her here in South Africa.................

I got offered a job like yesterday travelling and creating curriculums for schools world wide and it seems like an amazing opportunity so I'm thinking of taking it.
I am truly appalled to hear that your mother has been doing this to you from a young age. I am going to have to bluntly say that she sounds like a thoroughly toxic human being!

Anyway, it is good that you've moved in with your boy-friend as an escape route.

I can certainly see the attraction of the job offer that you mentioned. As well as escaping from your mother, it may be good for you to get out of South Africa. I have met a fair number of South Africans over the past few years (from all the main ethnic groups and political beliefs). All of them have one thing in common though. Thorough despair at the way the country has gone. It's a great shame because with the decent governing, it has all the ingredients of being a paradise!
I actually like it here. I know there's crime and corruption but I don't necessarily think its all going downhill. I don't know if governing alone would help though... its this defeated and powerless mindset that is a real problem. Lots of potential and hard working people all torn apart by political narratives... that's upsetting to me. Media wise everything has been black vs white and bemoaning white monopoly capital when its actually more foreign corporates exploiting the country... its a shame more people aren't aware of the actual threats.

I need to be away from my mom. She was getting better at a certain stage but now she just picks on me and her boyfriend joins in... Telling me I'm not responsible, that I take no initiative and I'm always making excuses. I'm done with it...
I agree that your mom seems to be bullying you and you need to stay away; it sounds to me that the things she says actually say far more about her than they do about you. You trapped her in South Africa? Excuse me but is she the Immaculate Conception? If so, call The Vatican because we have a saint. Oh, that's right, your conception was her choice, not yours. Shame that South Africa is so exploited by foreigners, let me guess, the British and the Americans? We're both famous for exploitation, only my English neighbor keeps reminding me that the Brits have been doing it for much longer than we Americans.
Accounting and psychology is a great recipe for success for a psychologist in private practice. Also, the best psychologists are those drawn to help people with issues that they themselves have risen above. You can practice online independently or through an agency when you've completed your clinical hours of supervision, so driving doesn't have to be an issue. Keep your eye on the prize. I wish you all the best in all of your endeavors. I'm always willing to answer any questions about professional practice, so don't hesitate should the need arise. Best, Allesandro

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