No job at 26, feel like a failure and that the lack of support I've had for dyspraxia is partially to blame.

Discussions relating to jobs and working, including finding work, interviews, the work place etc.

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Tom fod
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Re: No job at 26, feel like a failure and that the lack of support I've had for dyspraxia is partially to blame.

Post by Tom fod » Thu May 17, 2018 12:30 am

Hi Goggzy and welcome.

You’re not your typical dyspraxic but is these such a thing? The system is stupid not us and sometimes we have to be a bit canny to navigate to the help we deserve and need so we can make a positive difference and convince both ourselves and others of this fact. Asking for help is difficult as we see that as admitting weakness when it could equally be seen as being the other way around.

Like many, You’ve been brought up to have traditional views on the role of the man and I completely understand why you feel you have failed,but you’re there for them in person, even if you’re currently having to look to the state for help. That’s what they’re meant to do. I might be a nerdy single 40 something non driving office type, but it’s clear to me that Plan A regrettably didn’t work out and now your struggling to find purpose and recognition, as are many here, currently or in the past. I hope we can offer some comfort and inspiration.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Goggzy60
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Re: No job at 26, feel like a failure and that the lack of support I've had for dyspraxia is partially to blame.

Post by Goggzy60 » Thu May 17, 2018 12:45 am

Yeah for me it's more actually just having people who go through or even just being able to help people. For me if I can personally make someone's life just a little bit better I will. It was a former coach of mine who mentioned about this so I think some one else he knows must have dyspraxia.

Tom fod
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Re: No job at 26, feel like a failure and that the lack of support I've had for dyspraxia is partially to blame.

Post by Tom fod » Thu May 17, 2018 1:03 am

To be fair, there are many guys who would run a mile from your situation but you’re there and you care and I think society could all do better to remember recognise and appreciate unpaid carers.

I unofficially support a friend with anxiety and also do my best to offer some comfort and hopefuĺy, on occasion, some useful advice here too. I'm a perfectionist and worrier and perhaps lose sight of the value others see in me and my contribution. It can be hard to see/recognise the positives sometimes.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Goggzy60
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Re: No job at 26, feel like a failure and that the lack of support I've had for dyspraxia is partially to blame.

Post by Goggzy60 » Thu May 17, 2018 12:33 pm

I'm a perfectionist myself. I actually thought it had something to do with my dyspraxia as I was actually diagnosed with dyspraxia at 5.

Tom fod
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Re: No job at 26, feel like a failure and that the lack of support I've had for dyspraxia is partially to blame.

Post by Tom fod » Thu May 17, 2018 12:58 pm

I think it is a bit of a flawed coping strategy, in that if we have really high standards we can protect ourselves from painful criticism. Problem is, we are usually far harder on ourselves than anyone and overlook many of our positives that others actually appreciate and admire.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

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Re: No job at 26, feel like a failure and that the lack of support I've had for dyspraxia is partially to blame.

Post by allesandro » Mon May 28, 2018 4:04 am

hang in there!!

SusanS
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Re: No job at 26, feel like a failure and that the lack of support I've had for dyspraxia is partially to blame.

Post by SusanS » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:02 am

:ghug: :ghug: :ghug: My counsellor suggested trying hugging myself. I didn't really get that till I read your post. I've only just realised my dyspraxia is a thing. I'm seeing if maybe starting a better relationship with myself (starting with self acceptance) will help with my interaction with the wider world. A friend of mine who works in a place where there have been some very upsetting rows going on says everyone has something to bring to the table, ie everyone has something to offer. :whistle: So I guess looking for what we do have going for us and learning to love ourselves for that sets a good example to others who might be our employers, colleagues etc. Hope this helps. XXX
ps If this makes you cry, then that's how it often is when I write like this. Better out than in as they say.

SusanS
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Re: No job at 26, feel like a failure and that the lack of support I've had for dyspraxia is partially to blame.

Post by SusanS » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:12 am

Have you been to "evenbreak" ? It is a job site for employers that are positive about disability. I just found a job advertised that I'm qualified for and the employer says they will make reasonable adjustments. I have only just realised I have dyspraxia so haven't yet come to terms with it. I was offered extra time for the online assessment but didn't take it. Maybe next time??? Reading your post has upped my confidence to maybe try to get some voice recognition software, wrist rests for typing etc so my hands don't ache (which they do!-of course-and now I know it's not just me, thank you)

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