Tomorrow Is My Last Day At Work, Feeling Anxious

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allesandro
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Tomorrow Is My Last Day At Work, Feeling Anxious

Post by allesandro » Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:03 pm

The effective date of my resignation is at the close of day tomorrow. Feeling very anxious and heavy as I have to say goodbye to all of my clients and hope I make it through the day without any bull---t from my supervisor; heaven know she is a Godless woman. I've been anxious since last week and know that once it is all over with I will feel a whole lot better. the problem is my primary care physician is connected to the same health center so it's not like I can opt to never go back or anything like that. Fortunately, the medical dept. is on a different floor. I feel as though I've been scarred by the experience and have regressed significantly. Haven't been eating properly ( I bought nutritional meal replacement shakes and vitamins), sleep has been erratic, and my stomach has been a disaster area which only happens when I'm under inordinate stress. I'm struggling to get it together and restore equilibrium and balance but it's really difficult. I feel as though my dyspraxia related mistakes have made me an object of disdain and target for bullying which is not uncharacteristic of my history, going all the way back to elementary school.
I did start therapy myself several weeks ago, after being on a waiting list for months; however, I have to take a bus and a subway train to get there and the Center is on a University campus. I'm immunosupressed from diabetes, and I end up contracting a virus every time I go up there, as it is cold and flu season here, I imagine in the UK as well. I'm just feeling very dark and very blue right now and not motivated to do much at all. I know the decision to resign, was to avoid an inevitable termination and so it was not really much of a choice at all. I also know the humiliation and degradation I was suffering was not worth the little bit of money I was earning at that place. I suppose the loss includes a hit to my reputation ( I once served as a memebr of The Board of Directors of this agency) is part of the loss, but the majority of the disaster is the result of dyspraxia related errors. There's nothing I can do about that; it just feels like no matter how old I get I will never get used to this, never reach a point of acceptance with this. Thanks for reading this post

Tom fod
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Re: Tomorrow Is My Last Day At Work, Feeling Anxious

Post by Tom fod » Thu Feb 22, 2018 12:07 am

Sadly it’s not uncommon for us to feel like this and I know there’s little I can say to counter how you feel right now. For what it’s worth I think you made the right decision in resigning and I hope there’s a feedback questionnaire or other way to make it known to higher management why you have taken the decision to quit and that going forwards your supervisor,s attitude demeanour and conduct will likely have continuing implications for staff morale and retention.

A happy relaxed and supportive work environment is always going to be of paramount importance and an employer not prepared to make efforts to ensure this, is not worthy. I’m sure the place will be poorer for your absence but I fully acc that you can’t see it that way right now. Going forward be honest and think of ways that can help you mitigate against your difficulties in future but don’t ignore or forget the things you have contributed either.

Enjoy your last day for the relief you will feel saying farewell forever to your #£&* of a supervisor
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

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