Feel so trapped and ill

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invisible2014
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Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:27 pm

Feel so trapped and ill

Postby invisible2014 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 4:40 pm

Hi I haven't been on for a while because I felt so much better and happier and healthy until this week.I had been doing cover work at preschool and they've asked me to do a lerment jib which is split hours 7-9 and 3-6 everyday and in the holidays 7-6 everyday. I feel so trapped because I hate these sort off hours and I hate this sort of job as I live working with preschool children not older children,I feel.more confident working with preschool age as I know preschool activities feel more confident leading groups and and communicating.I do.not feel confident with older children I'm.not very creative and making myself so sick with worry I can see myself actually getting sick again I'm feeling suicidal trapped like I will have no life and that I will getsignex off sick again. I'm feeling so mean as I'm taking things out on my poor puply and family. Manager doesnt understand that my dysprqxia makes me time management in xafe poor and playdi skills makim poor

Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: Feel so trapped and ill

Postby Tom fod » Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:19 pm

invisible2014 wrote:Hi I haven't been on for a while because I felt so much better and happier and healthy until this week.I had been doing cover work at preschool and they've asked me to do a lerment jib (permanent job?) which is split hours 7-9 and 3-6 everyday and in the holidays 7-6 everyday. I feel so trapped because I hate these sort of hours and I hate this sort of job as I like working with preschool children not older children,I feel.more confident working with preschool age as I know preschool activities feel more confident leading groups and and communicating.I do.not feel confident with older children I'm.not very creative and making myself so sick with worry I can see myself actually getting sick again I'm feeling suicidal trapped like I will have no life and that I will get signed off sick again. I'm feeling so mean as I'm taking things out on my poor puply (puppy?) and family. Manager doesnt understand that my dyspraxia makes me [struggle with?] time management in xafe poor and playdi skills makim poor ??


Hi again and sorry not to see you here in better circumstances, but the forum is here when things are not so good.

So are you still at the same place? What has improved and what can you congratulate yourself on coping with?

I don't think we're always very good at standing up for (asserting) ourselves. For your own health and sanity you need to be honest with them (or get someone you trust to help you communicate) about how you feel, so they are aware and can help you to perform the role they want/need you to perform. I can appreciate you feel backed into a corner but aside from the stress and how that affects you and those around you, there may be some perfectly legitimate reasons to decline that role/those hours? I'm happy where I am right now and I fear that I will struggle to cope, [especially given your track record in supporting and valuing the health and wellbeing of your employees!]

Equally the fact that are asking you to become permanent can be seen as indication that they have more confidence in you, than you do yourself and maybe you can say I will accept on condition that somebody supports me properly?

Maybe you being signed off as sick again might make your employer wake up to their duty of care?
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

invisible2014
Regular Poster
Posts: 70
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:27 pm

Re: Feel so trapped and ill

Postby invisible2014 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:09 am

Hi tom thank you think will have to put own health first, stuff the rude director and decline,I've woken up.crying yet again.they've not offered me this because they want me its because there's desperate.the previous person left and worked four week notice that gave them four weeks ri.find someone I USD to love going in working preschool i hare these hours and older children.my health had to.come first as yo said.ice taken this role on forvan entirely different reason to make them happy and the rude director not me or own health. I can't stop crying I'm.so.il

Tom fod
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Posts: 1797
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Feel so trapped and ill

Postby Tom fod » Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:05 pm

You're welcome

It might be an idea to see if there is a job with another employer who are better able to balance the safety and needs of the children whilst having a happy safe and relaxed environment for staff too. Appreciate I may be a bit over idealistic there?

In the right environment, with the right level of staffing and support I'm sure you could gain the confidence to manage/cope with looking after older children.if you wanted to.

With low self-esteem I'm certain there's quite a few of us here, who are rather too inclined to say yes out of fear when we don't really want to and more importantly should be saying no for our own sakes.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

invisible2014
Regular Poster
Posts: 70
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:27 pm

Re: Feel so trapped and ill

Postby invisible2014 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:51 pm

Tom fod wrote:You're welcome

It might be an idea to see if there is a job with another employer who are better able to balance the safety and needs of the children whilst having a happy safe and relaxed environment for staff too. Appreciate I may be a bit over idealistic there?

In the right environment, with the right level of staffing and support I'm sure you could gain the confidence to manage/cope with looking after older children.if you wanted to.

With low self-esteem I'm certain there's quite a few of us here, who are rather too inclined to say yes out of fear when we don't really want to and more importantly should be saying no for our own sakes.

Thank you tom,you're right my dream is preschool or nursery assistant/lunch time cover not older children or these hours

allesandro
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Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:38 pm

Re: Feel so trapped and ill

Postby allesandro » Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:06 am

I'm so sorry you're in this position. I know exactly what it feels like to feel 'trapped and ill' by a work situation. The hours do sound awful so I can't really blame you. I sincerely hope you are able to work this out.


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