Lost in Dyspraxia

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Poppy91
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Lost in Dyspraxia

Post by Poppy91 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 10:56 am

Hello!

So I have just recently really accepted that I have dyspraxia, I haven't been diagnosed but I have known for many years that something wasn't right. I heard about Dyspraxia a few years ago and everything started to make sense. I was working full time and was always quite hard on myself when I made a mistake, took a while to grasp an idea etc. I somehow got along anyway and was able to avoid things I wasn't so confident at. I left my job to look for something better as I really believed I could succeed in anything and that my difficulties were normal and that I was just full of negativity towards myself. When I started my new job I REALLY struggled, it was completely different and everyone else was so much quicker at understanding everything, I fell so behind in the first few weeks I just had to leave, I couldn't handle going in and embarrassing myself anymore! I was making myself ill with stress and worry and also the feeling of being so confident in my previous job to being an anxious mess. I feel like that experience has made me really take a step back and now every time I make a mistake or drop something, get lost etc I beat myself up about it so much!! I am thinking about it all the time and just don't know where to go from here. I almost wish I hadn't found out about it because I obsess over every little thing now that I feel because of my Dyspraxia. All the careers I had envisaged are so far out of reach because of it, I wanted to join the police but I have zero sense of direction (to the point I can't find my car in the car park sometimes) and I find it very difficult processing information quickly, especially sequences etc. It was my dream but now that I feel like I know these aren't just slight weaknesses, I feel like there's no point in trying to find a career in this field.

Sorry for the long post!

Desert Rose
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Re: Lost in Dyspraxia

Post by Desert Rose » Thu Nov 16, 2017 2:24 pm

I was diagnosed around age 4 and I've always known that I have dyspraxia, but I only actually read into it a few years ago and my life started making more sense, all the **** I beat myself up for was largely out of my control, which funily enough makes me happier and more able to accept myself.

I can't offer you any in depth advice about work etc but I'm aware that if you are so passionate and motivated by something then it's possible to overcome ones difficulties.

Tom fod
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Re: Lost in Dyspraxia

Post by Tom fod » Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:01 am

Poppy91 wrote:Hello!

So I have just recently really accepted that I have dyspraxia, I haven't been diagnosed but I have known for many years that something wasn't right. I heard about Dyspraxia a few years ago and everything started to make sense. I was working full time and was always quite hard on myself when I made a mistake, took a while to grasp an idea etc. I somehow got along anyway and was able to avoid things I wasn't so confident at. I left my job to look for something better as I really believed I could succeed in anything and that my difficulties were normal and that I was just full of negativity towards myself.

When I started my new job I REALLY struggled, it was completely different and everyone else was so much quicker at understanding everything, I fell so behind in the first few weeks I just had to leave, I couldn't handle going in and embarrassing myself anymore! I was making myself ill with stress and worry and also the feeling of being so confident in my previous job to being an anxious mess. I feel like that experience has made me really take a step back and now every time I make a mistake or drop something, get lost etc I beat myself up about it so much!! I am thinking about it all the time and just don't know where to go from here.

I almost wish I hadn't found out about it because I obsess over every little thing now that I feel because of my Dyspraxia. All the careers I had envisaged are so far out of reach because of it, I wanted to join the police but I have zero sense of direction (to the point I can't find my car in the car park sometimes) and I find it very difficult processing information quickly, especially sequences etc. It was my dream but now that I feel like I know these aren't just slight weaknesses, I feel like there's no point in trying to find a career in this field.

Sorry for the long post!
This isn't particularly long at all and if it's long, so what. It's not an easy thing to try to put into words and if the detail is important it's necessary.

Personally I think we often make for good analysts as we are often very persistent and are capable of seeing the big picture and connecting disparate facts even if we do it in a way that is not logical or easily discernible, the result is still valid!. You're clearly intelligent but think differently when compared to most. Finding a suitable niche for oneself where you can start to feel more confident in yourself is all too often a difficult process. My paraphrasing might be a little off but I believe Albert Einstein said that if a fish is judged by it's ability to ride a bicycle it will grow up thinking it is stupid!

Welcome to the forum and I hope this is of some comfort. Feel free to ask more 8:)
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

LizzyD
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Re: Lost in Dyspraxia

Post by LizzyD » Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:09 am

Hi Poppy,
Without sounding dismissive and condescending, I can relate to so much of what you wrote, including being concerned about writing too much. At 63 y/o and learning about "this" has truthfully devastated me. I am actually going through the stages of grief I believe. I too have learned to compensate and have just come to believe certain truths about myself, I am: stupid, clueless, clumsy etc. People in my life are perfectly happy with me being "clueless" I believe. Opening Pandora's box has been painful for me and a major inconvenience for the people I thought I could trust the most. Truly, nothing has been a surprise, I have always felt that something was just not right.
Regarding work, I am a Registered Nurse, and have been one for 40 years. I learned and still do work small, no matter how intense, rather than large. For example, I hated working on the floors, yet working in specialty units such as ICU or CCU did not bother me.
Perhaps being a policeman is not in your future, (I have dysgeographia as well) however being a 911 dispatcher may be.
It gets frustrating and discouraging when jobs don't work out. I retired after 19 yrs. from one position as a supervisor. I tried to work at 3 different nursing homes and quit within 1 wk, I could not do the work. I was expected among other things to pass multiple meds to 40 patients and I could not get it. After the third failure I thought my nursing career was over. I was mistaken, I was working "large" again. I was blessed to find the perfect position as a research nurse. I would never ever have imagined I would be doing this.
One thing I have learned about working with others, they lie! They are masters of the game, we are not.

Poppy91
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Re: Lost in Dyspraxia

Post by Poppy91 » Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:51 am

Thank you for your replies guys!

LizzyD, your story is exactly what I needed to hear, I too feel like along as I find a specific area of the job that I can get good at I will be able to succeed. I am currently a daytime manager at a restaurant, I manage all events and bookings and although this is very stressful and not ideal for someone with Dyspraxia (arranging table layouts, coordinating bookings etc) if I make sure I give myself extra time and because I have a very good work ethic, I seem to get through. On the other hand, I love training the staff.. this part makes it all worth while.

I think I just need to learn to be easier on myself and to try and push through the difficult stages that appear at the start of a new job. The office experience really shook me up and made me realise that I am different from everyone else! I'm glad that it has come to light and this forum has helped me a lot too.

I hope one day I can have complete independence, at the moment I think because I have been between jobs I have gotten away with excuses like "not being able to afford a car" therefore not driving anywhere and so avoiding my 'dysgeographia' from being so obvious. Any tips on how to improve this problem whatsoever would be greatly appreciated!!

Lots of love x

LizzyD
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Re: Lost in Dyspraxia

Post by LizzyD » Tue Nov 21, 2017 5:48 pm

Poppy,
I am so proud of you. Every success "one" of us has feels like a personal success. As I said at 63 I could write a book on dos and dont's. We are extremely fortunate to be able to honestly express ourselves here. It sounds like you have found your niche at your present job, although it does involve multitasking. I believe we compartmentalize to compensate. In other words, some how or another in multitask situations we are able to quickly place them into their own compartment to deal with them. I had to learn this when working in the ER. My son admitted he had to learn to compartmentalize during the training to become a Green Beret and continues to do so on active duty especially when deployed.
As far as the dysgeographia(not a diagnosis rather a term used to describe us on the internet) it can be so damn frustrating and irritating.Use Google Maps on your phone, write down everything, anything that helps.
The other thing, please be careful who you tell about your diagnosis. Somethings may be obvious (like you can't tell your l from R). Never give others ammunition, especially "friends". I never lie on applications etc. (which are confidential) but I do not offer anything. This is extremely hard for me as a person and as a nurse. Although our brains work differently, you have the ability and right to live a full rewarding life just like everyone else. No one has the right to interfere with that.
I never want to sound like I am lecturing you, I detest that you feel the way you do about yourself. Knowledge from this site and other sources will bring enlightenment and freedom.
Wishing You the Best

Jim
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Re: Lost in Dyspraxia

Post by Jim » Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:25 pm

Multitasking is a challenge.

Sometimes because we know.. We can be better at it. I work in an NHS call centre and believe it or not I'm using processing multiple phone calls at once as well as managing paperwork and other interruptions.

It's as about as undyspraxic a task as you could want yet as long as you know how to break things down and micro manage then you can do it. Others may get frustrated if you have to ask them to repeat themselves but ya know? Stuff them.
Jim is back ... Jim is J i m and J i m is Jim.

Confused? I'd be.

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