hi feeling sad and ashamed

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invisible2014
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Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:27 pm

hi feeling sad and ashamed

Postby invisible2014 » Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:40 pm

Hi I feel so sad and ashamed for having dyspraxia.I have handed in my resignation at work working in a preschool due to being ill ,dyspraxia has caused me to have anxiety,depression,low self esteem I feel really week.i struggled with tying my own personal prtective apron when I was preparing cafe,and i struggled with time management due to being told we would have to ensure 30 children had finished there lunch and the whole room was vacumed by one and I was told I would have to do that everyday I found lunch club very stressful I did disclose this but there was nothing that could be done.I also never did nappies as my manager said as I have dyspraxia I don't have to do nappies.i feel so stupid and ashamed for having dyspraxia due to managers comment which was I disclosed I had dyspraxia which was causing me a lot off problems and she tried to support but couldn't all the time and doesn't know what else she could do.i feel so stupid for This because I personally didn't think dyspraxia was causing me that much issues just lowvsepf esteem anxiety depression and not being able to.tie aprons.I feel so stupid and immature and ashamed to be me that I've has to resign

Tom fod
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Posts: 1798
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: hi feeling sad and ashamed

Postby Tom fod » Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:26 pm

Hi and welcome

Really sorry to hear you've had such a nightmarish experience. Am I correct in assuming this was a first job that initially very excited about? You're not alone. As you know Dyspraxia is not an easy condition for employers to understand/support and understanding and explaining ones own limitations and needs and handle disclosure is frighteningly difficult. Lack of confidence is all too often incorrectly viewed by some employers as laziness or lack of initiative. Employers need to recognise how to get the best from their employees as they have a duty of care to them too.

I suspect you feel very differently but it could perhaps be argued that your decision to resign was the right decision for you at this current time. There's no reason why you can't work with pre school children for another employer with a better working environment once you've realised your strengths and gained confidence and developed task management strategies that work for you.

I sometimes feel exclusions from certain tasks/responsibilities can be a double edged sword as we think we should be able to do then and feel bad, worry that we are then being resented/looked down upon by our colleagues?

I can only imagine the difficulty involved in getting 30 tots to sit down and eat their lunch and then have all the tables and chairs wiped down and the floor spotless in an hour. I think many jobs can feel like an endless slog to deal with similar difficulties presented in wildly different seeming ways. Developing the skill and experience to not be reduced to a quivering jelly is not as easy as one might think and building the necessary resilience does take time so please try not to beat yourself up.

We're caring people and quite a number of people have worked in the caring/educational sectors. It's worth having a look through previous posts as it will help you see you aren't alone in experiencing difficulties.

Here are some quick examples:
Keyword search for Aprons:
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4554&p=28022&hilit=Apron#p28022

Keyword search for Childcare
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=5307&p=29835&hilit=Childcare#p29835

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4469&p=26654&hilit=Childcare#p26654

May also be of interest
viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2321&p=17101&hilit=Childcare#p17101
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

invisible2014
Regular Poster
Posts: 70
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:27 pm

Re: hi feeling sad and ashamed

Postby invisible2014 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:28 am

Hi thankyou for your reply,I have had other jobs before 3 two retail and one care assistant for the elderly ,this preschool job I had been at for three years,one year an asssistand ,next completing apprenticeship and than I was asked to do lunch time cover and after school club,no one ever told me I would have to do lunch club everyday I got told I wouldn't be but I am and have now got told would have to do this every single day and have everything cleaned with in an hour,I imagine so I'm currently off sick but have a job interview for a new job tommorow might ,cant face going back to job ,when I told my first line manager about dyspraxia she was so supportive and brilliant but my second line manager has used dyspraxia to make me feel stupid

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 1798
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: hi feeling sad and ashamed

Postby Tom fod » Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:08 am

Some line managers should be dragged out and shot! (ok maybe a bit extreme and hardly moderate!).

I suspect you made the right choice for you. How was your resignation received? I hope your next employer/managers are more supportive, appreciative and deserving of your hard work and loyalty.

All the Best
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

invisible2014
Regular Poster
Posts: 70
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:27 pm

Re: hi feeling sad and ashamed

Postby invisible2014 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:15 am

Lol totally true tho,well I put it in an email,my line manager phoned me quite rydely said dyspraxia had been affecting me loads,she tried to support me as much as possible but honestly don't know what else she can do to support me and if i came back I would still have to do lunch club and afternoon cafe still apparabtley its four weeks notice tho I won't be going back at all.

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 1798
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: hi feeling sad and ashamed

Postby Tom fod » Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:31 am

I do wonder if you might have a case against her for victimisation. Have you heard from/spoken to any other managers/HR people? it may be better just to draw a line under it and take your services elsewhere.

Take care and try not to blame yourself.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

invisible2014
Regular Poster
Posts: 70
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:27 pm

Re: hi feeling sad and ashamed

Postby invisible2014 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:13 pm

Thankyou tom I was wondering that but think it's best I just leave tbh ,I've got a job interview tonight so nervous hope no one sees me as I've signed off sick xx


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