Bullying at work

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Millymollymandy
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by Millymollymandy »

I'm super sensitive to people at work, in the sense I pick up on any faces they might pull, or get an idea how they feel about me. I tend to ignore this behaviour, as much as possible because it's a professional environment but if someone tried to bully me, I'd probably have to tell them, I'd like to talk to them in private. Then address my concerns with them and I think, it could be good to confront someone on their behaviour. They may deny it but it lays ground for whether this working environment, in this job is really for you. Don't compromise your happiness for anyone.
You might think outside the box but you can feel boxed in and isolated from everybody else. :boxedin:

Whilst everyone else is :bumps: :banana: sociable and busy.
strawberrysmoothie
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by strawberrysmoothie »

I had an issue at work with someone who recently started. This person would comment on all aspects of my work and comment negatively all the time and I'd always be the butt of all her jokes and she'd get other staff members involved. I have no time for her anymore,I just ignore her. if she has nothing nice to say to me why should I even be civil to her, I tried so hard to help her out when she first started and was really nice to her so I don't understand what I have done for her to be a horrible person towards me. I am professional at work towards her but I don't talk to her out with work talk and discussions.
pendragon
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by pendragon »

Bullying at work is sadly far more common than we'd like to think. For the first few years of my current job I was part of a very cliquey team where they had all started around the same time and had similar interests. I assumed I didn't fit in because I was the newcomer, but they accepted another girl in later on.

The whole process was extremely subtle. It started out being a matter of seating - I was sitting opposite my manager and the ringleader of the bullying, and couldn't often join in conversations going on at the next table. What may have begun as seating arrangements gradually worsened. My manager was the only person in the team who spoke to me - one time she was away and nobody spoke to me for a week. If I tried to join in they'd look disgusted, and make some kind of putdown. They were constantly commenting on what I was eating and my untidiness. If I went into the lunchroom, they'd go quiet and leave. It was awful.

The thing was, my team were only part of a larger department. The people we reported to were great: although they were mostly much older than me, they were really supportive and understanding. I went to the head of department and told her how I was feeling, and she said she had noticed the way the others treated me. The situation improved greatly after that; she must have spoken to my manager and got her to have a quiet word with the others.

As a dyspraxic I'm well aware I stand out, and certain characteristics - my lack of a volume control, my odd outlook, my hatred of sarcasm and "banter" - are frequently misunderstood and ridiculed. Bullies are quick to seize upon anything out of the ordinary. But as long as you don't rise to the bait and have good relationships with your other colleagues, you can overcome it.
space cadet
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by space cadet »

I've been shouted at by a lady i was supposed to manage (in her 50s at least), then another lady I'm supposed to be managing (hitting 60) tells me off. I quit this week. I can't believe people talk to eachother like that at work. Horrendous atmosphere - in a charity at that! They just didn't like the fact it took me a few tries to understand how things work.
Tom fod
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by Tom fod »

space cadet wrote:I've been shouted at by a lady i was supposed to manage (in her 50s at least), then another lady I'm supposed to be managing (hitting 60) tells me off. I quit this week. I can't believe people talk to eachother like that at work. Horrendous atmosphere - in a charity at that! They just didn't like the fact it took me a few tries to understand how things work.
It can be tricky. I work in an office but some of my managers are younger and newer than me, and if they aren't clear, that can be quite frustrating. That said, it is never acceptable if they are unable to treat you, or other colleagues, with due respect.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
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Briony
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by Briony »

This is my first real job out of uni, and I've been with the company three years. I've never been able to progress as I make mistakes. Lately I messed a whole report up as all numbers where written as 35.6K ect ect and I was unable to accurately add the total up. I admitted that I wasn't confident that I had done this correctly and that it was probably because of my Dyspraxia, but I still got disciplined. Not bullying, but definitely not understanding.
allesandro
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by allesandro »

yes, I've experienced that at many of the jobs I've had. I've recently been dealing with it at a new job I've had since September--the sighs the looks--the exasperated expressions, etc. It's been very painful.
allesandro
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by allesandro »

Absolutely, multiple times. I've had bosses who would just leave me daily nasty voicemails, one boss who would just scream at me for no reason because she wanted me to quit and I have one now who repeatedly says condescending things, sighs, and belittles me even for mistakes that are not my fault(because if there's a computer error it must be because of something I did) and now it's gotten to the point where other administrators don't even say hello to me when they pass me in the halls, which according to the literature I've read on bullying, is called passive bullying. Don't really have an answer or words of wisdom to relay, just my experiences
nyasha4529
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by nyasha4529 »

Every single work place I go to I’ve had to resign or quite due to lack of understanding and abuse from the manager,I get shouted at and made to feel smaller than small and they have this fake yeah I know about dyspraxia attitude but still get angry when I’ve forgotten something or can’t keep up with new routines funnily enough hits a nursery I wonder if they’d act the same if a child with dyspraxia attended the nursery, last night my manager shouted at me infront of everyone and I had a panic attack I also suffer with epilepsy so it also made me feel unwell,I’m anxious to go anywhere I havent slept I just want to hide in a hole somewhere 😢
FrankieSoup
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Re: Bullying at work

Post by FrankieSoup »

Oh, Nyasha, I'm so sorry. That sounds horrible! i hate when people insist on doing things in front of everyone else. So much solidarity for that.

How are you feeling now you've had a few days?
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