Interviews and nerves. I'm better on paper.

[bookish]

Does anyone have any advice on coping with interviews and dealing with nerves?

I've been looking for work for a while and I'm finally getting interviews but not getting any further.

I've had 6 interviews in close succession that I've been unsuccessful with. Part of that is because of lack of experience etc. but a lot is due to me being ridiculously nervous. I sweat and fidget, say ridiculous things I can't recover from, I talk far too quickly and un-clearly. I've researched companies and planned answers but it's just not cutting it. I've always felt a bit like I'm a walking disaster zone and I think that comes across.

I'm living back at home with my parents at the moment and I know its really annoying them, my mum seems to be under the impression that I'm just not trying hard enough. She keeps giving me advice like "you need to shine more in an interview" "be more confident" "smile" or "show people you can get along with them". But I'm obviously trying to do all these things.

I'm just not good at appearing calm and collected or confident however hard I try. I have trouble socializing with people I've known all my life let alone people who are there specifically to judge me and decide my future, and I am so hyper aware of my weaknesses, poor answers, my slurred speech and nervous laugh.

I'm not sure I can take judgmental family and friends for much longer. Every time I get a rejection letter I just feel more and more useless, like there just isn't a job out there I'm capable of doing.

[AlleyCat]

I'm living back at home with my parents at the moment and I know its really annoying them, my mum seems to be under the impression that I'm just not trying hard enough. She keeps giving me advice like "you need to shine more in an interview" "be more confident" "smile" or "show people you can get along with them". But I'm obviously trying to do all these things.

If your mum is saying things like this, then she is not being helpful and, I am sorry to say, does not understand dyspraxia. I know exactly what you mean when it comes to interviews- it is for this reason that I am of the opinion that interviews are not a very fair selection procedure to use with people who have dyspraxia (or other things such as adhd and asperger syndrome). The way our brains function is not going to change within the space of an interview, so it really can lead to us not doing ourselves justice. My dyspraxia has some impact on the way my brain processes speech, so I feel that I am at a clear disadvantage in an interview situation.

I remember reading somewhere that the only fair way to interview someone with dyslexia or dyspraxia is actually if they are given the questions beforehand, so they can prepare their answers and even read them out if necessary! Sorry if this isn't of that much use but I just wanted to say that I have experienced exactly the same kind of thing, and wish that employers were more aware of how conditions such as dyspraxia can impact on someone's interview performance. Perhaps other people who post on here will have some useful tips they could share?

[Jim]

The first thing to appreciate is that people in general struggle with interviews because it's stressful and it's natural to be nervous about it.

There probably isn't a lot you can do to eliminate nerves, except prepare for your interview as well as you can;

Find out something about the company
Research the kind of questions they are likely to ask, (this helps to think of answer material before hand)
Find out where the interview is, (maybe even do a demo run before to reduce risk of getting lost and being late)
Accept offers of a drink, (I find this helps)

Also, consider making yourself an "interview pack" I do this and it'll contain;

A copy of my interview invitation
A copy of my application form (or covering letter)
A copy of my CV (& a summary of my qualifications and work experience)
Any relevant certificates to prove qualifications
Prepared topics to use in my answers
A list of references
A list of questions I want to ask the panel

This gives you something to focus on whilst waiting in reception, something to revise and something to refer to. It also gives the impression preparation and methodologically.

[cj254]

hi bookish,

I struggle a lot myself with interviews. Nerves are natural, but my mind just sometimes goes completely blank and I struggle with giving examples, articulating and I possibly look like a nervous wreck.

I also can empathise with your situation as before I got my current job I was getting all kinds of additional pressure from my parents who believe that I was either not trying hard enough or just doing the wrong things. I couldn't handle that critcism and whilst I knew that they were good people, I just quite simply stopped listening to them. In the end, I kept having so many failed interviews that I just kind of became so negative I took an approach of "I have nothing as it stands, but if things go right I may have something". I took the same pessimistic approach in my driving test and it did calm my nerves then too. An interview can be an enjoyable experience, if nothing else you may learn a bit more about yourself and the way that the world works. Place your trust in fate, if you're really meant to get a job, I'm sure you will.

[screengreen]

Hi bookish,
I am quite nervous at interviews, the key is preparation generally what I do is get the person spec and job descriptions and look at how you meet what they are looking for then guess the questions, prepare answers then practice saying the answers out loud, I find this step really important as it gives me the opportunity to rewind and have another go.
I think that if you have dyslexia, dyspraxia then you have to over know your stuff in order to impress, sadly we are not as good at blagging as other people (or at least I'm not).
Then afterwards if you didn't get the job ask for feed back as this may give you ideas on how you can improve your performance. You could also try telephone interviews and having notes in front of you.... hope this helps and doesn't sound too much like your mums advice good luck

[guygaulin]

hi.. firend...
Use the process of visualization. Visualization involves imagining what it would be like working for the company. This is possible if you invest time in researching the company. Thanks to the Internet, all it takes is a few hours to get an accurate picture of what the company is all about.
List several reasons why you should get the job. This is a standard question that’s likely to be asked.
Think carefully about the clothes your wear. It ought to meet the company’s standard and fit the corporate culture. Conservative attire is always the best bet.
During the interview, Siegel suggests:

Asking a lot of questions.It helps manage anxiety and focus on the mission at hand, which is impressing the interviewer with your knowledge.
Seals’ tips for controlling stress during the interview are:

Avoid caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) prior to the interview because it exacerbates tension and stress.
Maintain eye contact. It focuses attention on the interviewer rather than yourself. It gives you a certain amount of control over the interview because your attention is riveted on the interviewer. You are also displaying confidence, which is impressive.