Problem at new job, help?

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Aizawa
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Problem at new job, help?

Post by Aizawa » Mon Oct 22, 2018 1:01 am

So briefly about me: I’m 27 and I have Dyslexia, Visual Stress and Dyspraxia. I was diagnosed at 22. So I’m new at my current job which is at a cinema. My manager scheduled me to work at a different area which is serving food/drinks to customers. I was meant to work alone but I kept on leaving the area to ask for help - even though I was previously given a group training with colleagues who had already been trained in the area. Anyways my mind went blank and I noticed some of my colleagues direct a crowd of people towards me, as I was serving other customers. I kept on making incorrect orders, I messed up food and drinks several times and had to deal with rude costumers on my own. I Became an absolute nervous wreck and I kept holding back my tears but I kept on trembling. I didn’t remember important tasks, I kept dropping things and all sorts of clumsiness happened.

I actually cried in front of EVERYONE! and a kind customer told me not worry.

It was a lot to take in, I felt overwhelmed. I left the area after asking colleague to cover for me. Afterwards, I had a 1-2-1 with the manager, I apologised and said how I felt. Now I can’t face my colleagues of my job. The problem was I didn’t speak up beforehand to notify my manager that I wasn’t confident in working in that area and I hadn’t disclosed my dyspraxia or dyslexia at interview stage. I really want to quit my job even though I started recently. because all the colleagues were staring at me as if I was a nutter. I’m a loner, I only speak to a few people in my work place.

I’ve spoken to my mum about it but she doesn’t seem to understand the level of embarrassment and anxiety I feel. I don’t want to go back even though I agreed to go to the next shift. I want to quit my job? The job and pay isn’t great, I’m currently on benefits as well.

Tom fod
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by Tom fod » Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:38 pm

Sounds like an absolute nightmare and feels like you were very much dropped in at deep end to deal with multiple customers all intent on getting what they want. Anyone would be overwhelmed if they'd not had to do it before.

So how was your manager in the 1to1? Did he /she recognise that serving food had placed you well outside of your comfort zone? Is that normally a single handed role anw what do you usually do?

It's hard not to worry about what your colleagues think but should their opinion matter? It's a hard one to weigh up as whilst the role is causing you pain and misery are there areas there that you could be happy working in whilst you look for something more suited to you?
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Aizawa
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by Aizawa » Tue Oct 23, 2018 1:08 am

Thank you for your response.

During the 1-2-1 he apologised and he said that I could work in different areas like before, general cleaning, stocking up, screen checks etc. although he doesn’t know much about dyspraxia he did understand my needs by placing me behind the scenes at work today, mostly away from colleagues.
So the cafe/till area is only for one staff member per shift.

It seemed as though he told the other duty managers about the incident (or they might’ve replayed the cctv footage), they kept on checking up on me and what not.

For now I’m more comfortable working on screen checks, stocking up and I think the manager gathered that hence why I was put behind the scenes today.

allesandro
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by allesandro » Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:13 am

Well, I can't tell you what to do; that's up to you. However, if they have made an accommodation for you that works, I would take it. People forget about stuff very quickly, mostly because everyone is self-involved. They all worry about their own issues and just getting through the shift. At least they had the decency to have people keep an eye out, and to put you behind the scenes. If this change works, give it a chance.

Helenjohanna
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by Helenjohanna » Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:13 am

I would stick with it. I actually think it's good that you broke down and talked to the manager. I have never done that and it's been to my detriment. Now you can be accommodated and your problems are out in the open.

hoogie
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by hoogie » Fri Oct 26, 2018 1:49 am

Its always horrible starting a new job, my first real job was working behind a bar and to be honest it took me a almost a good year to get used to things and to feel comfortable. I went through a similar situation at the time we had 2 bar areas in the pub and i was left to do the main lounge and it started to get busy I struggled with serving at the bar and running food in the restaurant, because of the stress I got too nervous to ask people waiting at the bar if they could wait a few minuets while i quickly took out a meal for a table which then resulted in a customer getting angry at me. I completely broke down in tears, I had a shift the next day and i wanted to avoid it and bury my head under the sand but i went in. One of the biggest things i have learnt is whenever I have any anxiety over something silly e.g. being worried to help out a customer. I always found that allowing my anxiety to control me caused more harm then good and would always make me feel worse. I now force myself to push past the anxiety and just go for it. The one thing I can promise you is if you really push yourself and take the time to learn every aspect of your job from knowing the hygiene aspect such as chemicals to product knowledge it will pay off! Don't be afraid to ask questions about everything and if you do mess up talk to your manager about have you could try and improve those situations, A good manager will appreciate your willingness to learn and improve no matter how many mistakes you can make.

Kocken86
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by Kocken86 » Mon Sep 23, 2019 6:05 pm

Hello i'm new from Sweden so my english may not be that good. Sometimes the work can be overwalming and you want to do to much to show your self and your work colleges that you can do this.

But one thing that i learnd at my job in a school kitchen is you can't do everything no one can. A tips is to make a system that works for you and in time you will learn in with order you chould do someting. Plus explain yoiur problems for the colleges or print out a shourt explanation of Dyspraxia.

Tom fod
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by Tom fod » Wed Sep 25, 2019 8:56 pm

Hej Kocken. Welcome.

I believe you're our first member to come from Sweden. Your English is fine. There are a few minor spelling errors but it is easy to understand what you mean and as some here are dyslexic too we are relaxed about spelling.

I'd be happy to go over these in a private message if that would be helpful to you?

I definitely agree that we have a tendency to try to take on more than we can easily handle as we compare ourselves to others and feel obliged to keep up with them in an effort to try to prove ourselves. This is not always possible to keep up especially if we're still learning the way to do something well in our own way.

Curious to know how much or how little recognition you feel there is of Dyspraxia and Neurodiversity in Sweden?

Het de bra, vi ses
(I had to google that! For the benefit of non Swedish speakers translates that means - Be well see you soon.)
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

RenegadeDyspraxic
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by RenegadeDyspraxic » Sat Nov 02, 2019 2:21 pm

Hope my answer does not reach you too late.
First off, I am sorry to hear what has happened – you certainly don’t deserve to have what happened to you happen. To be honest it is completely understandable that you mentally froze up. Most people when faced under stressful situations would freeze up. The reason for this is because adrenaline (the hormone which flows through our brains and bodies) causes one’s mind to shut down from absorbing in new information.
This is an evolutionary benefit when you think about it. Thousands of years ago when your ancestors were walking through the jungle and saw a man-eating lion running towards them, they didn’t have time to absorb in all the information, process it and decide on the best course of action. Instead the adrenaline causes us to reduce our thinking capacity and instead run like mad (or fight like mad). Yet if neither option is available, then the next outcome is to freeze on the spot.
Now with regards to your job, your colleagues were either being one of two things, this being –
1. A group of bullies (unlikely as it was your first day and they don’t really have time to suss you out and decide whether you are a target for bullying).
2. Your colleagues were just a bit uncaring and perhaps stressed out, hence thoughtlessly didn’t see you were struggling and sent customers over to you when you were having difficulties.
I recommend you personally speak to your manager and inform them that you have Dyspraxia and struggle in new situations. By doing so, they will hopefully help you out; give you a little extra time to learn or perhaps help out by giving you a mentor to look over for you. If the company doesn’t want to do such, than I would recommend you leave and find a kinder place to work in.
Are you on Facebook? If so then why not sign up to the Dyspraxia Support Group, where you can chat with fellow Dyspraxics at https://www.facebook.com/groups/294976028092912/

Wookie998
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by Wookie998 » Tue Jan 07, 2020 12:34 am

I'd really have a speak with your manager if you wwent hired for sustomer service I'd ask to not be put in customer service since that's not your skill set. Rude customers is unfortunately a part working in retail or hospitality I work in a bar and you can get the rudest people around but honestly its best to just a knowledgeable anything you have done wrong and say sorry and if they continue to be rude after that it'd abuse and that is 100% theie fault most companies have a no tolerance policy to abuse of customers I've seen many customers kicked out for being abusive to staff and making them cry if any customer is abusive your best bet is to day would you like to talk to a man her because they are self absorbed they will say yes thinking that arguing with a manager is better, people in service make mistakes I can't tell you the amount of times I've accidently knocked drinks over on customers most arecent understanding but you get the few dickheads who want to argue I'm which case you tell a mangers it was an accident they happen and let them deal with it its no your repsosibilty to deal with the karens who expect there to never be accidents or mistakes

Stacey
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Re: Problem at new job, help?

Post by Stacey » Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:23 am

Hey don't mind me being here. I just wanted to say im 33 years old and I have just sussed out why I break down at work all the time. I get over whelmed too and the tears are like relief valve that will not close. Just to add I'm the only female worker and the rest are all older blokes. I've done it in awkward meetings with manager and I just can't calm myself back down. Just thought I would share to say your not alone. Its generally a lot worse for me when I'm tired or it's the wrong time of the month. The dream now is to live on an warm island with my hubby and 3 dogs. Hope your coping better at work now and if not feel free to reply and vent. Lol x

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