Dyspraxia and depression

[thedarkrose]

Hi all

am new here.
My boyfriend has dyspraxia ad he has been doing well for a while. He helps with the cleaning, makes lunch or tea, shaves and things though its still difficult but lately he has been really miserable. He has been up and down and also gets angry or think he isn't good enough. He goes off on one and tries to start fights. Is this normal and do you think he should see the doctor? I hate seeing him so sad.

[gherkin001]

I cant speak for all of us, but I know that I have many of the same issues, I find myself regularly trying to pick fights for no particular reason. Seeing the doctor did me no good at all (I got a referral to the psychiatrist), but it seems that it was a blip. I am now happy and fine, but of course there are months when i go back to stage one. I think its the frustration of knowing people find things so easy that require so much more effort from me to be able to manage.

Kirsty

[Charlotte]

Hi, I'm new here as well!

I think you are a very caring partner and your boyfriend is lucky to have you

Your boyfriend sounds like he's trying to do the things that he finds difficult. It sounds as if his mood has suddenly been going up and down, the way you say he seemed to be doing well before. It might be a good idea for him to see a doctor. Is there anything you can think of that's happened recently to trigger this? Have you tried talking to him about his moods and how he is feeling? I would suggest talking to him about seeing the doctor together if you're really worried. Also, it sounds really boring, but eating a good diet and exercising can help.

And yes, my moods are very up and down, although not as much as they used to be.

Hope my advice has helped

[Lithium_joe]

My mood has been all over the place since I failed the PGCE - going on holiday helped* lighten my mood but it didn;t solve the problems so it's farir to say I'm still stuck in a rut.


*just to get out, change scenery, have a different experience.

[Liz944]

Failing something can bring about many emotions and lots of painful soul searching. Hopefully "something" will turn up that will brighten your mood!

[becky]

I think any form of illness or disability has the potential to be a cause for depression. When you feel like there is something holding you back from what you really want to do, it's definitely difficult. Especially when you feel that this "causes" failure. However, if you failed your PGCE, although it's really unpleasant and heart breaking, it might have been for the best. Maybe teaching wasn't the career path for you and there is something out there that will truly make you happy. Or maybe you'll be more determined to succeed the next time round if you give your PGCE another go. Because when you find something that makes you happy and that you genuinely enjoy, you want to do the work, it isn't a chore. I know that post was a while a go, but I hope you're feeling better about things now.

[thedarkrose]

hi all

thanks for replying to my post. Things have gotten worse for him. He has been suffering with a lot of stress, causing panic attacks and many other emotional problems. To top it all he has been told he has to go for a medical. Is gets very nervous around doctors so this is causing him a lot of stress. We requested that they push the day forward because he just wants it over with.

The good news (at least i hope it will be) is that a doctor at the clinic is going to finally look at his file (seems no one has since we moved here so they were not aware of what help he may need). We went to get help as he has been getting stomache pains and chest pains and we were worried. He seems to be struggling a lot more with everyday life.

May i ask, do any of you have days where you ache a lot or feel weak and don't really want to do much? I was not aware how common this is with some people.

[becky]

One common trait with dyspraxia is a tendency to have a low pain tolerance. I also have problems getting out of bed and getting ready to do things. I'm not sure if this is because of dyspraxia. I have suffered from bouts of depression in the past, but even when i'm feeling okay, i still have days when I don't have enough energy to push myself. Though, whether this is a dyspraxic thing, I wouldn't be able to say.

Has your boyfriend considered cognitive behaviour therapy?

[bunnylover]

Hi,your boyfriends depression sounds like it may stem from his feelings of inadequecy and feeling like he has failed or even let you down somehow?I believe I have dyspraxia and he sounds very similar to me.He probably feels like he has tried so hard and yet he feels a failure.This may make him very angry and he has to vent his feelings by picking a fight,as maybe he cant explain how or why hes feeling the emotions he does.It can be incredibly frustrating to know you are intelligent and yet to find things such a struggle.It can also be very wearing emotionally and physically.I too often have days when I feel so tired and lethargic I cant find the energy to do anything.I would suggest maybe sitting him down and getting him to either try and explore how hes feeling with you,or maybe making a list of his problems and trying to find possible solutions to each one together.Having someone who is supportive and patient,willing to listen can be a great help.Dyspraxia is a hard thing to live with but bottling up your feelings will make things worse and the more stressed he gets,the more frustrated,depressed and angry hel become.He really does need to talk to someone,if not a proffesional,then you.I think maybe the stomach pains and panic attacks are down to stress,meditation is something you have to practice at first but is really good for stress. Hope this helps

[sanabituranima]

*hugs* It is hard to know how to help him, as I don't know him personally. All you can do is love him, listen to him and make home as safe a place as possible.

[rainbow501]

Perhaps something is worrying him and it's not to do the Dyspraxia, like financial problems or work issues

[hollypop18]

hey sorry to hear about you boyfriend! I have dyspraxia with depresion. The depression comes from frustration of not doing normal things first time, and paranoia. A lot of dyspraxics have paranoia. With regards to the low pain threshold, im often in agony when i wake up mainly n my legs. Has he got in contact with the dyspraxia foundtion? they help alot.

[krackerz1590]

heya i have dyspraxia and aspergers i have panic attacks does your boyfriend suffer with anxiety as chest pains and stomach pains are common in that and also depression the two feed into eachother just like low self esteem and dyspraxia it complicates everything . low self-esteem also increases the likelyhood/possibilty of having MH probs . i think addressing his unmet needs outstanding would give him some predictable stability foundation of help and support so reviewing his notes and case would help decrease stress anger etc

the lack of energy is probably the depression this reduces the levels of motivation so feel tired all time

have you heard of dyspraxia foundation???

i found reading useful gain information /knowledge ,advice/tips:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Caged-Chaos-Dys ... 140&sr=8-2

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Dyspraxi ... =8-1-fkmr1

i would go to your local library and ask in there if they have any adult dyspraxia books that would come in useful and helpful


http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/s ... upport.php


http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/s ... living.php

take care
good luck
XKLX

[leirihtmin]

I'm not sure if this is pertaining to my dyspraxia, however based on my research this is the most likely outcome: most of my life I've struggled with emotional problems. Severe mood swings and began recovering from clinical depression at age 21. I was very stable for a long time, however recently, over a year later, I find myself going from elated, content and fully depressed, like suicidally depressed in the space of a day. I don't see professional help as necessary, as I've dealt with worse before by myself, however I think this is normal for somebody with dyspraxia. I did a bit of research a while ago, and a constant that I found with non-neurotypicals or those who suffer from mental illnesses is that, as you surely know, humans have a right and left hemisphere of their brain, normally, how it should work, is those hemispheres will cohesively communicate, work in tandem, however with most mental illnesses, from my research, it seems that this doesn't happen; the hemispheres suffer from a sort of "miscommunication" if you will. Meaning that often-times their actions, thoughts or words won't be understood by "neurotypicals" (a word to describe those without mental disabilities or illnesses), leaving them to feel rather isolated, despite how much support they may receive, this isolation can incite frustration, anger, violence, reclusive behaviour or self-deprivating behaviour (speaking from experience). Recently I began struggling with mental stability and my partner had no idea how to react, having never dealt with anybody in that situation before. The most helpful thing you can do is prove that you're on their side, that you're trying to understand and that they have you to comfort them, even if they're getting angry over something that seems trivial to you, almost always, they'll know it's trivial, they'll be aware that they shouldn't be getting upset about it, so you trying to point this out will make things worse. I can't speak for everybody, but I find myself mostly unable to moderate my emotions; I get myself so worked up in a vicious circle of internal conflicts that I end up breaking down completely, and being incapable of differentiating between reality and imagination. I don't hallucinate (as far as I know), but I get blank spots in my memory, or my memory feeds me false information, so when I believe I understand what has happened recently or in the past to be true, sometimes it isn't, however in my mind it's the most definite image I have so I get really confused, I don't know what to trust and it's really, REALLY scary. Moodswings, aggrivating behaviour, depression, all these things are highly common with those suffering from dyspraxia, today for example, I woke up feeling wonderful, by midday I was a bit put-out, tired, uncomfortable, irratable, by evening I just didn't want to be around anybody, I just wanted to cry, and then I got really upset and frustrated because I had no idea why I felt like that; I was so happy this morning and by the end of a normal day I'd lost that happiness and just wanted to die a little. I was so angry at myself for allowing that happiness to slip away, it doesn't matter how many good things you tell yourself, you just feel numb and a little ache inside.

[morgank82]

I'm scared and ashamed everyday now, and yes mostly every day or second i brake down in tears.I lost my social life although I peak my head up once awhile to try to be social; my apitite is going like a roller coaster , right now I'm not eating as not so good maybe 1 big meal a day this couple of weeks. I do too have emotion mood swings one moment I am happy, then like u said; I just feel really down and it's so scary how fast it can be to feel that way.

I wrote similar posts on hear before , and this forum does help a bit, but my Dr does not know of dyspraxia or there are no groups around to understand. They said they want to just take care of my depression first with out looking into dyspraxia also; it might just be that they don't want to or there busy with other clients, for its a metal centre I go too for help.
This pills are not helping at all, I just feel more down taking them, the failure they don't kick in to at least stable my emotions of anxiety.

I'm just wasting my life away, and its scaring me up pretty bad . I finally reached out for help just under to years ago. And nothing changed, I have my insurence benifits agent for my work, breathing down my kneck, which I am lucky to have actually ; but they don't understand ,and keep calling to see if I am better to be able to go back to work.

I just feel in the next life it would be better for me, not to feel this nomore , it really sucks cuz of my family and such , but its like, I know the outcome and I know my mind is going to be the same, so I accept I'm broken and try to help others so i push them ahead of me cuz they have that chance . And it sucks to feel or to think that way. Actually right now I'm tearing up posting this.

There going to get me to take another drug cuz this one I am on ,is not working . So hopefully next prescription does the trick or at least meet me in the middle.