Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

A place to talk about your experience of living with Dyspraxia

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cricketman123
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Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby cricketman123 » Sat Feb 17, 2018 4:44 pm

Hello. I am 25 male. Does anyone on the forum have any Kids with their boyfriend or husband or want kids in the future

JessB90
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby JessB90 » Fri Feb 23, 2018 11:22 pm

Hey I am child free at present. Definitely would love to have children in the future. They are so weird and wonderful :bumps:

Davie232
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Davie232 » Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:45 pm

I'm male age 27. Never been in a relationship before. I know for sure I don't want any kids I rather not pass my Dyspraxia to the next gen.
Apparently so. But suppose you throw a coin enough times......suppose one day, it lands on its edge. (Said by Kain in Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver 2)

Tom fod
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Tom fod » Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:18 pm

Hi Davie

First of all welcome to our site and thank you for your directness on a very interesting and thought provoking point.

I'm older (43 next week) but very much in the same boat and often feel time is running out. That said, I'm not a big fan of children anyway but know I would want to feel I was in a stable and happy relationship and could meet the needs of caring for and bringing up a child before thinking about trying to start a family.

Recently there was a similar post on a Facebook-based Dyspraxia Group where a guy said he had elected not to have children and he was met with some seriously angry judgemental responses claiming it was totally wrong to make such a rash personal choice like that. I guess it will always be a very emotive subject and people will always have vastly different perspectives/points of view.

A couple of years a go someone started a thread on this site entitled Should Dyspraxic People Procreate (sorry since deleted). Naturally some found it quite offensive but personally I thought there were some very good counter arguments of 'if we want to and have the opportunity, why shouldn't we'. It actually gave me some moderating to do too and I can say that the original poster was very much enlightened by the responses posted.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Davie232
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Davie232 » Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:28 pm

Tom fod wrote:Hi Davie

First of all welcome to our site and thank you for your directness on a very interesting and thought provoking point.

I'm older (43 next week) but very much in the same boat and often feel time is running out. That said, I'm not a big fan of children anyway but know I would want to feel I was in a stable and happy relationship and could meet the needs of caring for and bringing up a child before thinking about trying to start a family.

Recently there was a similar post on a Facebook-based Dyspraxia Group where a guy said he had elected not to have children and he was met with some seriously angry judgemental responses claiming it was totally wrong to make such a rash personal choice like that. I guess it will always be a very emotive subject and people will always have vastly different perspectives/points of view.

A couple of years a go someone started a thread on this site entitled Should Dyspraxic People Procreate (sorry since deleted). Naturally some found it quite offensive but personally I thought there were some very good counter arguments of 'if we want to and have the opportunity, why shouldn't we'. It actually gave me some moderating to do too and I can say that the original poster was very much enlightened by the responses posted.


Hello Tom,

For me personally, I don't think we should procreate. Why give our own personal life struggles onto the next gen?
Apparently so. But suppose you throw a coin enough times......suppose one day, it lands on its edge. (Said by Kain in Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver 2)

Tom fod
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Tom fod » Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:35 pm

For me the question is, Is it a forgone conclusion that we would pass our difficulties on to our offspring?
Can we as Dyspraxic/neuro diverse types not make a useful and valid contribution to society or do we sit back and let others dare to see us/dismiss us as oxygen thieves?
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Davie232
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Davie232 » Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:44 pm

Tom fod wrote:For me the question is, Is it a forgone conclusion that we would pass our difficulties on to our offspring?
Can we as Dyspraxic/neuro diverse types not make a useful and valid contribution to society or do we sit back and let others dare to see us/dismiss us as oxygen thieves?


I understand that we might not pass our 'difficulties' to our offsprings. I rather not take the chance.

As for oxygen thieves? Look at Daniel Radcliffie, he is Dyspraxic and he played Harry Potter.
Apparently so. But suppose you throw a coin enough times......suppose one day, it lands on its edge. (Said by Kain in Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver 2)

Tom fod
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Tom fod » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:03 pm

I'd be equally hesitant on same basis, if I were in a relationship with a femalewho could tolerate me.

I don't know if either of Daniels parents were affected and would they have abstained had they known he would struggle? Who's to say we don't have untapped potential that can't be nurtured into something great that we can pass on to any offspring?
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Davie232
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Davie232 » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:10 pm

Tom fod wrote:I'd be equally hesitant on same basis, if I were in a relationship with a femalewho could tolerate me.


I hear you. I doubt that I would find a female who that I like who be able to put up with me.
Apparently so. But suppose you throw a coin enough times......suppose one day, it lands on its edge. (Said by Kain in Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver 2)

Tom fod
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Tom fod » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:37 pm

Please let's not give up on ourselves just yet 8-)
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

allesandro
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby allesandro » Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:28 pm

don't have them, never wanted them

Tom fod
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Tom fod » Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:57 pm

Kids are young goats and I have a bit of dislike for goats as I was bunted in the behind at a Circus when I was young. They make an OK curry but it is totally wrong to do that with human children!

Not sure I'm particularly enamoured by the idea of children either, but guess if the little monster (he/she) was mine I would of course feel differently.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

RedRevolver
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby RedRevolver » Tue May 08, 2018 11:37 am

I just don't want to pass on depression/be a depressive parent.

Hey ho...if you want to, why not?

Dan
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Dan » Tue May 08, 2018 6:47 pm

Tom fod wrote:For me the question is, Is it a forgone conclusion that we would pass our difficulties on to our offspring?
Can we as Dyspraxic/neuro diverse types not make a useful and valid contribution to society or do we sit back and let others dare to see us/dismiss us as oxygen thieves?


Whilst learning disabilities do have a hereditary factor, Dyspraxia is definitely not a dominant gene, so the chances are likely 25% or under. Also, it has been argued before that ASD may have been useful for evolution due to discoveries being made by high functioning autistic people.

I've always wanted kids, so I find the idea that we shouldn't have them due to the chances of our condition being passed on sad and I totally disagree with the notion. Still, I respect anybody's decision on whether or not they would like to have children, of course.

Ram
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Re: Does Anyone have Kids or want Kids

Postby Ram » Wed May 09, 2018 12:42 pm

allesandro wrote:don't have them, never wanted them


Me neither. I never liked kids much even when I was one myself. Still I respect each person's right to make their own decision on the matter.


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