Paranoia

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Desert Rose
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Paranoia

Post by Desert Rose »

Yet another question, I seem to have this habit of getting rather paranoid, particularly as to what other people think of me, I sense that I'm being judged by others, and they may well be doing so, and then my mind arrives at all sorts of conclusions as to what people are actually thinking. This causes me frustration as during these times I don't like it that people judge me without actually getting to know me, and I feel quite angry towards people I barely even know. I know I keep churning out questions of this style, but this is my first opportunity to actually connect and communicate with other people who live with dyspraxia, I would like to come to a better understanding of it all.
Tom fod
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Re: Paranoia

Post by Tom fod »

I know it sounds like a cliche but a great many people struggle with this fear and are often preoccupied with what others' opinion of them might be, rather than thinking of forming an opinion about you. Of course for those of us with Dyspraxia, we're already hyper conscious of our awkwardness and errors so the feeling of being under scrutiny is very much magnified and it's completely understandable that we might have these feelings. Also I think we remember and store up the negative things that are said about ourselves and compare ourselves to others which makes it very difficult, nigh impossible, for ourselves to make an objective assessment.

Some people will form negative opinions of us and that's their misguided prerogative. We're not deliberately trying to mess stuff up to spoil their day! That said there will be other people who can see we are trying and will be at very least amenable to helping if we ask. Remembering this when we're having a rubbish day is sadly rarely easy.

What are other people's thoughts on this common experience?
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Desert Rose
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Re: Paranoia

Post by Desert Rose »

Tom fod wrote:I know it sounds like a cliche but a great many people struggle with this fear and are often preoccupied with what others' opinion of them might be, rather than thinking of forming an opinion about you. Of course for those of us with Dyspraxia, we're already hyper conscious of our awkwardness and errors so the feeling of being under scrutiny is very much magnified and it's completely understandable that we might have these feelings. Also I think we remember and store up the negative things that are said about ourselves and compare ourselves to others which makes it very difficult, nigh impossible, for ourselves to make an objective assessment.

Some people will form negative opinions of us and that's their misguided prerogative. We're not deliberately trying to mess stuff up to spoil their day! That said there will be other people who can see we are trying and will be at very least amenable to helping if we ask. Remembering this when we're having a rubbish day is sadly rarely easy.

What are other people's thoughts on this common experience?
I do get a very strong impression sometimes that people think I can help the way I behave, and that I'm just messing around or trying to make their lives difficult. If for 1 day other people could see life from my perspective, they might show more empathy that I have very limited control over these things that I do. Funnily enough though, when I'm around the few people that actually understand me to any extent, then I can totally relax and really not give a crap about what others think, I guess because I'm in the presence of someone I'm not judged by.

One of my other struggles is that I'm not always aware as to what I've done that's earned me a reputation, or gets other peoples attention, it's something I notice but I can never figure out what I've done wrong. The fact that people don't tell me is another one of my bugbears, I think it's kind of cruel because they want me to continue behaving in a particular way for their own entertainment, but maybe that's going too far.
Tom fod
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Re: Paranoia

Post by Tom fod »

Sadly there are a some people who are like this and we either have to find a way to work around or limit or best of all avoid them altogether. Where their 'toxic' attitude causes us to enter a highly emotional state it might be better to walk away or find allies unless we feel able to assert ourselves calmly and effectively.

Sometimes there is no choice but to hope that in time they realise their opinion is incorrect, sadly some people are complete idiots and are unable to accept they could be wrong. Sometimes for all our determination it's not a battle we can win and it's not worth wasting our time and effort.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Desert Rose
Regular Poster
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 12:10 pm

Re: Paranoia

Post by Desert Rose »

Tom fod wrote:Sadly there are a some people who are like this and we either have to find a way to work around or limit or best of all avoid them altogether. Where their 'toxic' attitude causes us to enter a highly emotional state it might be better to walk away or find allies unless we feel able to assert ourselves calmly and effectively.

Sometimes there is no choice but to hope that in time they realise their opinion is incorrect, sadly some people are complete idiots and are unable to accept they could be wrong. Sometimes for all our determination it's not a battle we can win and it's not worth wasting our time and effort.
Indeed, I think you hit the nail on the head there, I think it's a matter of avoiding the wrong people, sticking to the right ones and generally letting of worrying about it and keeping your fingers crossed that some will have the intelligence to see past it all.
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