Defining oneself as dyspraxic - or not?

[otis_b_flywheel]

I’m interested in the fact that some on this forum choose to define themselves (inwardly or to others) as dyspraxics whilst others do not. This of course is a matter of personal choice, but I would be pleased to learn peoples’ reasoning for plumping for one or the other option, and also what you consider to be the pros / cons either way.
I’ve recently been diagnosed as mildly dyspraxic and do choose to define myself this way – both to myself and to others – for the following reasons:
- It helps me to forgive myself for a lot of my past behavioural gaffs, that I now understand are largely owing to my dyspraxia. This is helpful for self-esteem and consequently for my mental health.
- Where I put myself in a situation where my dyspraxia may come to the fore, such as when I’m doing an outdoor activity as part of a group that requires co-ordination, forethought and not leaving key items of equipment behind, I can pre-warn the rest of the group / whoever is in charge that I may do unpredictable things. This I think is helpful to them as it makes management of the group easier, and from my point of view can save them from treating me as an imbecile and barking at me, that induces stress and is counter-productive.
- I personally find it helpful to have a label for the condition, though I know plenty of others do not.
- I am aware of the positive aspects of being dyspraxic and am now able to give myself credit for those positive traits that are relevant to me.
Cons might be:
- After the initial “honeymoon period” of relief that I now know that my brain is wired differently from neurotypical folk, I can now fall prey to moments of defeatism where I say to myself “how did you ever expect to be able to do x / y / z?”
- Dyspraxia is hard to explain to others. I try to pick out the bits of it that are relevant to the situation that prevails at the time.
Over to you ...

[Ram]

I’m interested in the fact that some on this forum choose to define themselves (inwardly or to others) as dyspraxics whilst others do not. This of course is a matter of personal choice, but I would be pleased to learn peoples’ reasoning for plumping for one or the other option, and also what you consider to be the pros / cons either way.
I’ve recently been diagnosed as mildly dyspraxic and do choose to define myself this way – both to myself and to others – for the following reasons:
- It helps me to forgive myself for a lot of my past behavioural gaffs, that I now understand are largely owing to my dyspraxia. This is helpful for self-esteem and consequently for my mental health.
- Where I put myself in a situation where my dyspraxia may come to the fore, such as when I’m doing an outdoor activity as part of a group that requires co-ordination, forethought and not leaving key items of equipment behind, I can pre-warn the rest of the group / whoever is in charge that I may do unpredictable things. This I think is helpful to them as it makes management of the group easier, and from my point of view can save them from treating me as an imbecile and barking at me, that induces stress and is counter-productive.
- I personally find it helpful to have a label for the condition, though I know plenty of others do not.
- I am aware of the positive aspects of being dyspraxic and am now able to give myself credit for those positive traits that are relevant to me.
Cons might be:
- After the initial “honeymoon period” of relief that I now know that my brain is wired differently from neurotypical folk, I can now fall prey to moments of defeatism where I say to myself “how did you ever expect to be able to do x / y / z?”
- Dyspraxia is hard to explain to others. I try to pick out the bits of it that are relevant to the situation that prevails at the time.
Over to you ...

This is an excellent post! You really do bring up some important issues.

I have definitely defined myself as dyspraxic internally since I was diagnosed for the first reason that you mention. A label helps us to make sense of thing and not beat ourselves up to an unreasonable degree when goes wrong. It also helps us to organise things, so they are less likely to go wrong, I think it would also be major denial for me not to at least admit to myself that I have this condition since a professional assessor has diagnosed me. And anyone who fails to embrace reality hampers their progress in life.

I do see your point about defeatism though, and I admit I am sometimes prone to this.
However, since joining this website, I have encountered a lot of people with a 'can do' attitude, especially (though not exclusively) among the younger folk, many of whom were diagnosed at a young age and hence were able to get the right input during their formative years. Therefore, thanks to this site my defeatism is much less than it was.

On the other hand, I have been rather shy (or perhaps cowardly) about defining myself as dyspraxic to other people for a few reasons even though you do mention some extremely good practical advantages.

First, for some subjective reason, I just don't like the sound of the word 'dyspraxia'. It just sounds so ickily subnormal and feeble even if it is a big improvement over the term 'Clumsy Child Syndrome.'

Second, as you mention in your post, it is extremely hard work to explain the condition to others.

Nevertheless, I really do need to think carefully about my current strategy.

[Tom fod]

Tim
Thanks for starting this thread. Personally I strongly believe that the 'label' is ours to own and it's a matter of personal choice as to how or whether we choose to disclose it to those around us. The 'How' is the difficult part because awareness is not what it could be, It's a nebulous (think mist/fog) condition to explain and the very nature of dyspraxia means that explaining ourselves/making ourselves understood is often fraught with difficulty which generally tends to make finding our way in life difficult.

Of course there's the argument that the more people declare it openly, the greater public awareness and acceptance will become. I think we need to guard against apologising ad-infinitum for everything as people need to accept that we aren't failing on purpose. I'm sure there are things that we're often reluctant to attempt and I know I've had times when I wished I hadn't bothered trying. However I do sometimes find that other peoples standards can fall short of what I expect and I do have to be careful to be diplomatic sometimes, as most people, non dyspraxics included, are honestly trying to do the best they can.

I sometimes find I can be happily defying my dyspraxia/dyspraxic tendencies then it/they trip me up, sometimes literally, to remind me they're still there.

We all have varying personal perspectives so right or wrong cannot be clearly defined. Feel free to chip in people as it would be nice to see some additional ideas and perspectives

[otis_b_flywheel]

First, for some subjective reason, I just don't like the sound of the word 'dyspraxia'. It just sounds so ickily subnormal and feeble even if it is a big improvement over the term 'Clumsy Child Syndrome.'

I totally agree with you, Ram - it's a really ugly word. Also it's easily confused with dyslexia and that makes it even harder to explain. Anything, however, is better than "Clumsy Child Syndrome".

I think we need to guard against apologising ad-infinitum for everything as people need to accept that we aren't failing on purpose.

Absolutely, Tom, and I think diagnosis / a label has really helped me to stop apologising or at least do it less often.

As you suggest, it'd be great to hear views from other forum members ...

[R1ch8rD]

At the moment I have chosen not to openly divine myself as Dyspraxic.
For me, just understanding the condition is really important to help me find workable solutions to the problems it causes.
But I can see how being open about it could really help take the pressure off, I suppose it would rely on the other person having at least heard of Dyspraxia? Or at least showing some empathy and patience.
I also experienced the defeatist period after the honeymoon period of accepting Dyspraxia, which is very unlike me.

[Dan]

I would never define myself alone by Dyspraxia, obviously, but it is a fact I have it so in some proportionate way I do. I understand that many may not want to do this, but I am bad at considering the emotional impact of my decisions even though being logically accurate is technically correct.