Feeling overly confident

[unknownpleasures]

So when I was a youth i was diagnosed Dispraxic, I spent most of my childhood struggling to understand people and being able to speak myself.

I had speech therapy until i was about 14 years old and struggled in school till roughly 16 years old. As soon as I learnt general communication skills my parents (and teachers) believed my issues had past.

I am now 31 and was only made aware my dyspraxia is still a major part of my life around 2 years ago. I generally get by in life with no major issues but have since been made aware that there is a reason for previous anxiety and struggles (the usual thing of clumbsiness, struggle with learning new things, processing too much at once)

Part of me is very frustrated that a lot of my growing up would have been a lot simpler if I could understand that there was a reason for feeling a bit separate and I would have been able to come to terms with how I act and how I perceive things. But overall when i describe to people how it is to have this condition I talk proudly of the fact that I was never aware of this growing up and it has made me think differently on the way I act.

For instance, I am easily the most welcoming and understanding person I know and take a lot of positivity from this. I generally seek to be happy in my day to day life and don't look to far into the future. I treat every situation very 'matter of fact' and make sure I come out of it the best I can.

I feel i am better off as a person because of how I have trained myself to go through life with a different outlook to other people.

I have always been getting myself into bad situations... for example i used to cycle in london and have had some severe injuries due to crashes. likewise in sport. I am used to out of the ordinary things happening to me. I have always built my positivity of thinking what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I am an overly confident and positive person because of this, yet I am still a mess when it comes to unique and new scenarios.. for example I have never been very good with the opposite sex unless it is at a friendship level (most of my best friends are females who I have been in love with at one time or another)

I feel my main ambition in life is to be happy every morning when i wake up and use this practically to base my career prospects and social life. It has served me well but also I am very aware that it is by no means an idyllic life.

I would love to know if anyone has read this far and can let me know if it is either

A_ a dyspraxia thing that means you have a different outlook on how to treat yourself, almost in a protection sense

B_ a way of myself learning to deal with my obvious issues before i was made fully aware of how my brain operates differently to others- for example not being able to deal with too much at once and simplifying life into what i should do to keep my stress down

C_ nothing to do with my condition but more to do with other things going on in my life at different stages

If you have anything to add or similar experiences, or would like to chat more with me. I would honestly love it

If you have made it this far, thank you so much for reading my ramble.

[Ram]

Firstly, you don't sound overly confident to me. I was expecting this post to be about someone who regularly bites off more than he can chew and is always getting himself into trouble.

Actually, on second thoughts, someone who describes him/herself as overly confident can't be overly confident. A genuinely overly confident person would sinply not be aware of having too much confidence.

Anyway, back to your original question, it sounds as if you've adapted pretty well to life. I really can't tell whether it's down to dyspraxia or not. Even on this forum we have all had different kinds of dyspraxia, and differing life experiences, so we all have distinctive attitudes and philosophies to life.

I don't think I've given you the answer you were looking for.

[Tom fod]

So when I was a youth i was diagnosed Dispraxic, I spent most of my childhood struggling to understand people and being able to speak myself.

I had speech therapy until i was about 14 years old and struggled in school till roughly 16 years old. As soon as I learnt general communication skills my parents (and teachers) believed my issues had past.

I am now 31 and was only made aware my dyspraxia is still a major part of my life around 2 years ago. I generally get by in life with no major issues but have since been made aware that there is a reason for previous anxiety and struggles (the usual thing of clumbsiness, struggle with learning new things, processing too much at once)

Part of me is very frustrated that a lot of my growing up would have been a lot simpler if I could understand that there was a reason for feeling a bit separate and I would have been able to come to terms with how I act and how I perceive things. But overall when i describe to people how it is to have this condition I talk proudly of the fact that I was never aware of this growing up and it has made me think differently on the way I act.

For instance, I am easily the most welcoming and understanding person I know and take a lot of positivity from this. I generally seek to be happy in my day to day life and don't look to far into the future. I treat every situation very 'matter of fact' and make sure I come out of it the best I can.

I feel i am better off as a person because of how I have trained myself to go through life with a different outlook to other people.

I have always been getting myself into bad situations... for example i used to cycle in london and have had some severe injuries due to crashes. likewise in sport. I am used to out of the ordinary things happening to me. I have always built my positivity of thinking what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I am an overly confident and positive person because of this, yet I am still a mess when it comes to unique and new scenarios.. for example I have never been very good with the opposite sex unless it is at a friendship level (most of my best friends are females who I have been in love with at one time or another)

I feel my main ambition in life is to be happy every morning when i wake up and use this practically to base my career prospects and social life. It has served me well but also I am very aware that it is by no means an idyllic life.

I would love to know if anyone has read this far and can let me know if it is either

A_ a dyspraxia thing that means you have a different outlook on how to treat yourself, almost in a protection sense

B_ a way of myself learning to deal with my obvious issues before i was made fully aware of how my brain operates differently to others- for example not being able to deal with too much at once and simplifying life into what i should do to keep my stress down

C_ nothing to do with my condition but more to do with other things going on in my life at different stages

If you have anything to add or similar experiences, or would like to chat more with me. I would honestly love it

If you have made it this far, thank you so much for reading my ramble.

Hi and welcome

Generally speaking I think we do have a slightly different outlook but as Ram says we vary in how the condition affects us personally and our different strategies for getting by. If I was ever told about Dyspraxia when I was younger it didn't register in my mind and I sadly formed the opinion I was lazy/stupid and beyond help. I've only really begun to understand in the last six years or so. Whilst awareness is improving, general understanding of the condition is still lagging behind.

I guess I could describe myself as a frustrated perfectionist and a pessimistic realist rather than an optimist. While Dyspraxia is part of who I am, I take pains not to let it define me absolutely. I admire that you've been able to maintain a positive outlook but would caution that such a thing may be difficult and tiring to sustain. The other thing I believe can happen is that on occasion we can find that coping strategies that have served us well suddenly don't seem to work as well due to changes that we've not been able to keep in step with.

My love life too has at best been uneventful. I've got some great female friends but I sadly don't think they see me as boyfriend material. What you've written does resonate in some respects. I guess you've been taught/trained yourself to tackle difficulties head on but that something(s) have now caused you to question that strategy?

[Jim]

While Dyspraxia is part of who I am, I take pains not to let it define me absolutely.

Perfect summary.

[unknownpleasures]

Thanks I appreciated the feedback. I guess I don't let it define me. My life has been 1000 percent better since my diagnosis and it has purely been personal. Most of my friends are still not aware of my diagnosis and have all commented how in recent years I have been a much more open and positive person. This is why I entitled the post... Overly confident... I now feel I have a reason for anything that has caused my doubt and anxiety in the past and don't feel this anymore. My main aim now in day to day life is to make myself happy. This normally means keeping myself active and social but also treating others with an element of sympathy.

If I went 20 years not being aware of what was making me act the way I do then anyone can be experiencing the same if not worse. I feel confident in speaking with anyone even if they are appearing an arse. I don't see it as their fault. I should add that this is also making me bored of peoples mundane actions.

Thanks for listening y'all

[Tom fod]

Can you please clarify what you mean by "treating others with an element of sympathy"?

I find I can exhibit both extremes, in some situations I find myself unable to say boo to a goose, but at other times I can be a tad overbearing because I'm confident I'm right. This might not actually be the case and sometimes it pays to humour people a little if you want to leave them with a positive impression and get them to do your bidding.

Diplomacy is the art of being able to tell someone to go to hell in such a way as they're actually quite looking forward to the trip.

[Yossarian]

I noticed that you describe yourself as an understanding person. I think that being understanding comes from having struggled oneself.

Over the years, I have experienced a great deal of harsh criticisms in the gym halls of school and in the workplace. Knowing the effect this has had on me, I am reluctant to subject others to this treatment.

As a result, I would also describe myself as understanding. I tend to be very patient and I have a "don't worry about it" attitude whenever a colleague makes a mistake or I am instructing someone less experienced.

I would not describe your confidence as a bad thing either. It's far better to be a little cocky than to suffer from low self esteem.