Dyspraxia ruined my life.

[DCDjake]

I was diagnosed as a kid because of my teachers concern with my handwriting and skills like using scissors. In school it was a problem but a manageable one. I was terrible at organization, had awful hand writing, and was mocked any time I tried to participate in physical activities. Comments like I run like a duck. When I was sixteen I got my first job at mcdonalds and that's when I realized this was much worse than I thought. I was incapable of performing any task they put me on except the register. Being a man though, they didn't want me on the register. Due to my performance my hours were cut and cut until I just quit. Fast forward a bit and I've had 4 other fast food jobs. It was the same story every time incapable of doing simple things like mopping or scooping frys in a fast manner. People around me were always baffled and just didn't understand. I remember some of the names my co workers gave me one sticking out more than others "can't get right." Besides fastfood I worked in a book warehouse where I did equally as terrible. Being unable to put a price sticker on a book or sweep a floor the way that's expected of me has dealt a great blow to my mind state.



I am now 27 and I haven't had a job in the last five years. I know that I would be capable of doing a job like customer service or working phones or a computer. The problem is I have absolutely no positive references or work experience. I've given up on jobs I know I can't do because it only causes me more self doubt and mental damage. I had a girlfriend for two and a half years and we had a child together. She left me because she found it clear I was never going to work and I was "a man child." I honestly don't blame her for leaving I actually understand totally.



Luckily my ex did see it fit to allow me to raise our daughter full time. This is the one thing I do that makes me feel I have a purpose in life. I tried to get disability about four years ago for my DCD. The letter I received that denied me benefits basically said I performed too well in highschool to receive benefits (dropped out never had good grades but performed well on tests). I'm not looking for sympathy it just feels good to tell my story. I'm hoping I can find some people that can relate in some ways to my struggles. As a dyspraxia person I've always felt totally alone and like no one gets it. I look like a capable strong man so that's what's expected of me. I've spoken to a psychiatrist she hadn't even heard of dyspraxia. She looked it up on her phone and said it seems that only effects kids. I have a friend who is a doctor and he had never heard of dyspraxia. Sometimes I wish I had a disability people could See so I could get just a little compassion and understanding. But as I said because of the way I look when someone sees me they expect me to be very physically capable.

[Tom fod]

Hi Jake and Welcome

Really sorry to hear you've had such a difficult time. You're certainly not the first or last to pitch up here with a similar story. Hopefully we can offer some ideas and inspiration to start clawing your way forwards. Sadly some peoples attitudes do a lot to make it a disability. Even people with visible disabilities often feel on the margins of society.

Dyspraxia awareness among medical professionals is sadly not as widespread as it should be and a lot of specific assistance where it is exists is geared towards children and young adults in full time education. You don'r grow out of it though it is possible to develop coping strategies though sometimes change and the associated stress can all too quickly seemingly render them obsolete. Because we often approach things differently in the way
I think many of us would struggle trying to work in the fast food industry. It certainly would not be for me, though I'm aware of members here who've given it a go. Having a decent boss and supportive team around you is critical and it sounds like you weren't lucky enough to find this. It's worthwhile having a look at the posts in our Work and Getting Help and Assessment sections.

The 'Man Child' description seems overly harsh and at best unhelpful. I know I would really struggle with the responsibility of caring for a child. You need to find ways to help boost your sense of self worth as this is so important as the vicious circle of fear about doing things wrong is a self fulfilling prophecy. Asking for and finding the right help is no easy feat and all too often a long and difficult journey.

We can't really comment on your failed claim for DLA? as we don't know you or your history. I believe it is the case that a lot of claims are rejected but granted on appeal.

Please consider yourself welcome here and don't be afraid to ask specific questions and/or contribute where you feel you can.

All the best