Can't go on like this..

A place to talk about your experience of living with Dyspraxia

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shisu
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Can't go on like this..

Post by shisu » Mon Nov 25, 2013 1:29 am

Hi,

I'm really struggling to not feel suicidal, life in every respect is making me feel down, work is a nightmare - I am in a managerial role but can't manage, some of this down to my dyspraxia, some down to the stupid way things are done anyway but I can't see a way out because if I give up this job which I've had for 6 years I don't know what I'll do, I don't have any meaningful qualifications.

Lack of social life outside of work - I know a lot of this is down to 'not putting myself out there' but I'm sure as many of you are aware this is not easy when you feel so uncomfortable in large groups and/or meeting new people.

I really envy people who have a plan, or some idea at least of what to do with their life, I just feel so trapped and can't see a way out, I hate everything about myself and just feel like going to sleep and not waking up.

I guess I need to see my GP and may need anti-depressants... sorry to be a misreable sod.

paulo
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Re: Can't go on like this..

Post by paulo » Mon Nov 25, 2013 3:52 pm

shame that your feeling so down, i thgnk we all understand how you feel, when i felt like this in the past i started to do yoga, and meditation. this helped as i started to enjoy me own company whihc relaxed my anxiety and then i began to find it easier to be socail (still dont find it easy but "easier").
dylexic/ dyspraxic is ofetn from a lack of balance and causes extreme reactions (like maountains out of mole hills).
st Johns wart is a herbal extract and is a natural anti depressant if your not keen to take chemical remedies as they just mask symptoms not get to the root.
be still and hope you feel better soon :ghug:

Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: Can't go on like this..

Post by Tom fod » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:27 pm

Hi Shisu

Sorry to hear you're feeling down about work and life in general too. I went through quite a bad patch myself a couple of years ago when it seemed I'd hit a glass ceiling as a result of my dyspraxic ways and the strain I was under due to workplace change and trying to deal with too much myself. This was pre my discovering dyspraxia but I was luckily able to speak to someone in welfare where I worked and I received a bit of cognitive behavioural therapy. Must admit I was and still am a bit sceptical but it did seem to help me refocus.

Have you or are you able to ask for support from your employer or fellow employees in comparable management positions? What about the awkward way things are done could be changed to provide benefits across your team/workplace? I know there is a temptation to try and plough through when you have piles to do but sometimes you need to take time to take a step back and reassess what needs doing and how it is getting done, which is very hard.

I've never really had a plan as I'm not really sure it would work and mine always seem to go out of control. Are there any activities you enjoy that might enable you to meet people. I've met some new friends through going to a pub quiz. They're sadly not my own age or female but I can't have everything.

It is worth speaking to your GP he or she has a duty to try and help and I probably should have gone myself.

Don't be afraid that you will drag people down. I'm quite happy and try to revel in being a miserable so and so but I do like to try and help others as a way of escaping my own reality.

Hope something in my above ramblings gives you some comfort or a germ of an idea to enable you to gain a better foothold and that the light at the end of the tunnel is not an idiot with a torch bringing more work!
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Mopps
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Re: Can't go on like this..

Post by Mopps » Fri Dec 13, 2013 2:21 am

So sorry you are finding life so difficult at the moment.But I want to reassure you that there are lots of people out there who really care about you,and want the best for you. First of all I think you need to find a good sympathetic Doctor, ask for a double appointment which will give you more time to explain your feelings to your Doctor, then take it from there. Unfortunately even a good carling Doctor, may not understand all about dyspraxia and the symptoms people with it can get but hopefully they will listen and try to come up with some ideas.Sadly depression is one of the symptoms.i have it but I call mine the black dog that was what Sir Winston Churchill, called his depression. Actually he had bipolar, that is what he named his depression. There are a lot of different Antidepressants out there Doggy tablets as I call mine. If your Doctor, was in agreement and though this was what you needed, he or she would find the right one that suited you. They may take about two weeks before they start to kick In but I know the ones I have help me a lot. There is also the Dyspraxia Foundation, which could send you out an information pack and I think they have a help line for people too if you are feeling very down. Remember, Samaritans,and Breathing space , are there to listen to you at night when everyone else is asleep if you need someone to talk to they will be happy to listen to you. Don't know if I have been any help at all but just want you to know I am thinking of you and routing for you

shisu
Getting settled in
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:37 am

Re: Can't go on like this..

Post by shisu » Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:36 am

Thanks for replying everyone it does help to know I am not alone out there, I still feel very down especially this time of year when others are celebrating the new year I just feel so alone but your advice does help. I don't think bottling things up helps and is something I must address, I just wish I knew what I could do with my life, I feel like I'm so limited because of my invisible disability, there are things I would like to do but I know I would be worse at because of the dyspraxia and make everything seem so pointless, I hope you all find happiness in 2014.

Tom fod
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Posts: 1949
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Can't go on like this..

Post by Tom fod » Wed Jan 01, 2014 7:01 pm

Hi Shisu

New Year can feel very challenging when you're a glass half empty person. To me it seems merely another day with the same ongoing challenges but added pressure to feel happy about them.

Feel free to vent your troubles on here if it helps you. The feeling of pointlessness is a real disabler but don't forget we can still develop our own unconventional ways of getting things done.

Wishing you a better 2014
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

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