Just venting i guess
Moderator: Moderator Team
Just venting i guess
Im a 19 year old male and ive always known i had dyspraxia since i was diagnosed around 9 years old. Its only been a year that ive fully read up researched and understand what we all have. So much about myself makes so much sense now but at the same time i dont uderstand it, ive always struggled with my emotions and have always bottled them up until they all come put angrily and then the crying starts and then just a blank feeling. Some days i just feel so lonely like im lost in space its just so confusing. A champion boxer undefeated and fight on tv witch all of people including myself dont understand how, I'm not the most skilled but i push and push an push myself when i train and every fight i fight like im fighting for my life in there its a way to let ally demons out and in that ring trading blows is honestly when im truly at peace with myself but at the same time i feel like a failure and a nobody. I jump to conclusions with everything always asume the worst and blame myself. I have a son and a girlfriend who i love both more then anything and a loving family who i know loves me. I dot think its them its just me sometimes i just dont understand anything from time to time like nothing makes sense or im staring at a puzzle that dont fit its just so hard when the people around you dont fully understand you the real you and you struggle day in and day out. Just needed to get this out there as i know i wont be judged here just need to know im not the only one
Re: Just venting i guess
Hi Danny
No harm in venting. This place is useful for that and we're a sympathetic bunch. You've certainly achieved in an area most dyspraxics would shy away from. It seems all of have our own ways of coping usually by working extra hard to achieve stuff that people would say he/she has no chance and thus prove them wrong.
Do you find that because you are a boxer you aren't so able to publicly discuss your emotions due to peoples expectations? I've been lucky in that my dyspraxia is comparatively minor and I too have achievements I can be proud of, although I still suffer from the lack of confidence in myself due to some aspects of my life where I feel I too have not achieved as much as I should have.
Could you talk to your girlfriend, doctor trainer or someone else? Perhaps a bit of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) would help you to rationalise and deal with these feelings. Please don't be ashamed about these feelings. Asking for help is not always easy but it can work wonders. Do you have a mentor of any sort or could acting as a mentor to others help you restore a bit of faith in yourself?
Hope this response has helped in some measure. Feel free to vent/read up on other peoples experiences here and elsewhere. The feeling of loneliness of less uncommon than you think.
No harm in venting. This place is useful for that and we're a sympathetic bunch. You've certainly achieved in an area most dyspraxics would shy away from. It seems all of have our own ways of coping usually by working extra hard to achieve stuff that people would say he/she has no chance and thus prove them wrong.
Do you find that because you are a boxer you aren't so able to publicly discuss your emotions due to peoples expectations? I've been lucky in that my dyspraxia is comparatively minor and I too have achievements I can be proud of, although I still suffer from the lack of confidence in myself due to some aspects of my life where I feel I too have not achieved as much as I should have.
Could you talk to your girlfriend, doctor trainer or someone else? Perhaps a bit of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) would help you to rationalise and deal with these feelings. Please don't be ashamed about these feelings. Asking for help is not always easy but it can work wonders. Do you have a mentor of any sort or could acting as a mentor to others help you restore a bit of faith in yourself?
Hope this response has helped in some measure. Feel free to vent/read up on other peoples experiences here and elsewhere. The feeling of loneliness of less uncommon than you think.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Re: Just venting i guess
Its not so much because i box, like everyone that knows me know im emotional on all levels. It just feels like noone understands because i dont know anyone with dyspraxia everyone laughs at me for stuff i do cant do or dont do. I cant sit next to anyone eating crisps it drives me crazy the smell and te texture it drives me crazy. And because people dont understand that they laugh at it and take the mick to wind me up and evan call me dyspraxic dan, like i know they dont mean it in hurtfull way but it does hurt and its just hard carrying it and bottlying it up all the time. I gues its rant part 2 now lol