Talking to people in my head

[soufflette]

Does anyone else here find that they talk to people in their head excessively? I find that I talk constantly to people in my head whom I know in real life or don't know but want to know better, or used to know. It wouldn't be problematic except that it gets in the way of my studying and my general functioning and has an adverse effect on my relationships. I usually just talk to one of a small number of people - often people I'd like to be closer to but for some reason feel I can't, because there's some social boundary in the way, or because we used to be friends and they went off me for some reason unbeknownst to myself, or because we get along fine and they can't be in my life more because I don't get to see them very often, or because it's just not that sort of friendship. Ultimately, they're just people I want to reach out to and connect with but can't. I talk to them a lot when I'm stressed; confiding in them has a relaxing effect. Sometimes I can spend hours or days in a sort of trance world, sharing my favourite pet subjects with them.

Because I wish so badly that they could be a greater part of my real life I tend to Facebook stalk and act ostentatiously around them. I just got unfriended on Facebook by one of the people in question and I realised that this had to stop. Before I was diagnosed dyspraxic I had counselling about this, but my counsellor didn't know any more about it than I do. I've seen people on autism forums talk about this and I was wondering if any other dyspraxics experience it. Does anyone here talk to people in their head (i.e. to representations of people they know in real life)?

[minniemoo]

I'm not sure if it is the same at all. But I daydream a lot. The more stressed and unhappy I am, the more I do it. Sometimes the daydreams involve people I know, sometimes not, just made up people and a place /life I'd rather be in /have. Thankfully it doesn't affect the way I treat others though, other than perhaps paying more attention to daydreams than reality....

[soufflette]

Sounds like it. It's escapism - as you've said, daydreaming, and being more in touch with the daydreams than with the reality. It only affects my relationships with people when I try to take real life action as a result of what I've dreamt up, though deep down I always know I'm acting on what is only a daydream. I might post something on Facebook intended to get the person's attention, or try to make a conversation that I've rehearsed happen in real life, our of 'curiosity'. And then they seem to detect that something's not quite on and think I'm weird. It all wastes so much time...

[Jim]

Strange topic, I suppose I've rehearsed conversations with other real people in my head, but I've managed to not confuse it with reality.

I do day dream a heck of a lot though, it's escapism. But again I don't confuse day dreams with reality.

[Captain_Ludd]

Hi Soufflette,

Dunno if this is exactly the same but I do tend to loose myself in day dreams and in them I am analyzing situations in my head often running them over and over gain to try and work out the possible out comes to the point where it can become obsessive and it drives me a bit mad.
For me at least I think its kind of a control thing, its normally to do with situations where things haven't gone to well or that I'm nervous about so I run them through my head as a way of trying sort of own or control the situation.
Does that make any sense ?
Could it be that that because for what ever reason you feel you cant talk to them in real life you talk to them in your head instead?
This might give you the sense of control you feel you lack in the real world thus alleviating your anixities a bit.

[minniemoo]

It seems like we all have similar things - escaping into fantasy for one reason or another. I read some where that 80% of dyspraxics say they daydream, which is a lot higher than the percentage for the general public I guess our real difference is how much it spills into/takes over reality.

[Jim]

Pfffft then the general public are probably lying. Day-dreams are often far better than reality

[PhilB]

Pfffft then the general public are probably lying. Day-dreams are often far better than reality

To be honest I always assumed that everyone day dreamed... can't imagine not doing it myself, and it never even occured to me that other people don't. Can't imagine how I'd get through some of my runs/rides without day dreams to keep the mind busy!

[Tim G]

I day dream and talk to myself - talking my thoughts without thinking as such is nothing new to me and is a massivee issue (thats another matter)
I feel that talking to myself helps to organise my thoughts better when i can commumace them to myself raver then it just being a massive mess in my head

When I can I spend time out walking thinking about things and talking about it to myself - it helps me organise it better I also do day dream and create experances in my mind.

[minniemoo]

I agree! Can't believe that most people don't daydream and/or talk to themselves!

Came as a great shock to find out they don't! How the heck do they get through???

Anyway this is why I love all of you...you, unlike the rest of the bloody planet, get me!!!

[Captain_Ludd]

I agree! Can't believe that most people don't daydream and/or talk to themse

Yeah, find this quite hard to believe, I can even think that the term itself was made up by dyspraxics for dyspraxics seems to widely used besides which I know several people who aren’t dyspraxic (as far as I know) that day dream.
I think it may just be the sheer amount we tend to do it, in fact I’m starting to think it may be a major part of the way I process information.
May have something to do with the fact that dyspraxic are supposed to be highly imaginative and tend to sort of "think sideways" round things.
Things not necessarily a bad thing and probably about the only creative or imaginative thing I can do .

[joy]

I think that this role acting out of talking to people in your head is part of Dyspraxia is all about.When you are in a situation that you have to voice a opinion or make several comments regarding a subject,we have difficulty in describing and remembering several points on whatever the topic may be ,so we may tend to act out the scenario in your head over and over again so it makes sense and sounds like you know what your talking about and that you are just as intelligent as the next person and hopefully gives you a bit more confidence.
Although when you actually confront the person , whether its because we maybe slightly nervous,or because of poor memory it doesn't come out the same as the scenario you have played out in your head,and half of the points that you have gone over in your head you have forgotten to mention,and nearly always say I should have mentioned this or I should have mentioned that,because of the difficulty you have with planning ,organising ,and remembering thoughts.
When I go over things in my head I even impress myself sometimes but it doesn't always come out the way I am thinking it.People who dont have Dyspraxia would not have any trouble with remembering if they had to give a speech from memory,people with Dyspraxia would have to take notes to jog your memory because your mind can just go blank and you end up forgetting half the things that you wanted to mention.
So for some it may be constant repetitive thinking and organising which can in turn lead to more stress.

[Tim G]

I had no idea the term was made up by dyspraxics for dyspraxics but it does make sence that its probably the case

[Peculiar]

I do talk to people in my head, as you say, because I want them to be more in my life. Sometimes I talk to myself to work out problems or to organize a thought, or to just try and figure out how something works. But for the most part of me talking to myself, I'm in a constant "interview" with an invisible, nameless person, and I'm relaying my life as it happens, but talking about it as if it's in the past tense. Like I'm in an interview in the future reflecting on my past, except it's in the present, and currently happening... If that makes any sense. Once in a while I'll hear a voice in my head, not my own, but it answers a question or predicament I've been contemplating. I like to pretend they are ghosts

[Jim]

Wow... I think my head just exploded.

I don't think I've ever actually interacted with other people 'in my head' just rehearsed my part of a discussions based on how well I know a person and hence am able to pre empt their reactions. Almost like a simulation if you like.

If general people say that they don't day dream or occasionally talk to themselves then they are talking utter tosh, or are simply embarrassed to admit so.