I need an explanation for the way I am

A place to talk about your experience of living with Dyspraxia

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hmmm007
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I need an explanation for the way I am

Post by hmmm007 »

I posted this problem on the health and relationship section of another board:

"I'm not a touchy-feely person and it annoys me so much when people touch me without asking. I know it may sound odd, but I just get really upset when someone touches my face without asking or gets too close to me. Someone was reading something over my shoulder the other day and it was driving me crazy, I was reading the newspaper and it felt like he was invading my personal space; I could feel his face too close to me and it made me so uncomfortable. This has nothing to do with the fact that he's male or anything, it was just actually feeling a presence there. I didn't like it.

I also hate spending time with people for too long. I really love my personal space and prefer to do things on my own and people don't seem to understand this. I'm not a social recluse or anything but I find that even after spending a few hours with the same people I have to go spend some time on my own because I start to feel panicky and depressed if I don't."


I then got a reply suggesting dyspraxia:

"this may help your situation, and anyone else who finds they suffer from these issues..

i found out a couple of months ago that i have dyspraxia (DCD) the problem with it is i dont really know how to explain it. ita such a new thing aswell, that people dont really know how to diagnose it.

a few of the symptoms i have..

i find it aggrovating when in extremely busy places, or when there is ALOT of very bright light..
i find that if sum1 brushes past me, i'll jump, however, a firm touch is fine.
people approaching from behind, wont even be noticed untill they specifically get your atttention.

some other things are if you have issues with fiddly things, eg. buttons, or having a very tight grip on a pencil/pen which causes cramp in the hand and arm after only a short time..

i dunno if its this you may have, but if you find you suffer from any of the above symptoms, or anything similar, its prolly worth looking into. i have quite an extreme form of it, however you could just have a very small issue with it..

hopefully that may help"


I was actually shocked when reading this because I do identify with some of the symptoms this girl has listed. This was my response:

"I'm actually a bit nervous reading that because I seem to have most of those symptoms. Like many people I hate crowds but I actually get really angry and a bit panicky when there are too many people around me. I also HATE bright light, even normal daylight is a struggle for me to go out in most of the time because I just can't stand it, I have to wear sunglasses. I'm not sure about people coming up from behind me not getting my attention, I don't think that happens very often. I do get cramp in my hand and arm really easily, which I've always put down to holding my pen in a different way to other people.

I've just looked up other symptoms for dyspraxia though and I don't think I'm particularly clumsy or poor at dressing, but I have noticed recently that I often stumble over my words and stutter a bit and sometimes I forget things easily and seem to lose my balance for no reason. I don't know if all this is worth going to the doctor about or not."



A couple of the replies after that are a bit unhelpful and are basically suggesting I'm some sort of weirdo for being this way. I'm good at English and I'm going to be studying it at university soon but I'm noticing even when typing this that I'm getting words mixed up and typing the wrong thing (e.g. I wrote "unhealthy" instead of "unhelpful" and added an "s" on to the end of the word "are" because I was already thinking of the next word.) Do you guys think that I have symptoms of dyspraxia? I don't think I'm majorally clumsy, it's just having trouble with touching and being in crowds that really bothers me. I have clumsy moments where I accidentally kick things over but I don't think I'm any worse than other people in that respect.

Oh and another thing, do dyspraxics often hold their pen in a different way to the norm? Most people seem to have their thumb and three fingers at the bottom of the pen but I've always gripped it in between my index and middle finger and used my thumb as support at the top. This gives me hand and arm ache but it's the only way I can actually write with a pen.

Also, I don't know if this sounds typical or not, but I'm a cashier at work and the other day I had to read a number off the till screen. It was something like "248" and my brain went blank and I couldn't say it. I ended up saying: "Errr 2....4...." and then a co-worker had to butt in and read it out for me. It's one of the weirdest things that has happened to me.

Any advice or opinions would greatly appreciated, thank you. :)
eoakley
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Post by eoakley »

Hello
First of all I supose i should introduce myself My name is Emma and I am 20.

Reading your post reminded me of myself about a year ago but i want to tell you you are not wierd you are you a wonderful unique and special person.

in feb 05 i found out for my self I am severly dydpraxic and dyslexic i say for myself because my mum, dad and secondary school teacher knew i am dyspraxic from when i was 13 and they just let me do thing my way and didt help me when i was strugling i felt angered but c an completely understand why my parents did this now they thought i would be better for me to do everything at school the same. I did actually do that bad I got Bs and Cs for my Gcses although English took me 3 goes to get a c

My alevels were a complete battle because I was badly organised my work came out all muddled up like it is in my head i knew exactly what I wanted to write but just couldn't I did 2 years at a school sixth for which was no good for me the teaching methods sucked my geography teacher would tell us what to write insted of using the board but i endered up with huge gaps in my work. so my notes were no good at this sixth form I got a DE for travel and tourism and and as level at grde E for geography. but i Like geography so much and this dod not match up to what I am capable of so I went to a proper college to complete my alevel in geography it was here where my geography teacher thought I was dyslexic because my bad spelling and being unable to read properly so he pointed me to the special ed department where i was told i am probably dyslexic and dyspraxic

I started my geography degree a year ago things are going really well my teachers and lecturers all know about my difficulties and are always willing to help me.

I have made some of the most wonderful friends who I can definately call true friend because they would do anything for me they know abuut my dyspraxia I go out at uni but not as much because it takes me longer to do my work but i dont mind.

I did scare my friends a few times when we have gone out because due to the noise and ligst in clubs, i have panic attacks and when i am angry I rock myslef and headbang but they are quite used to this now and calm
me down

I also hold a pen the way you describe because if i hold it the normal way two fingers and a thumb i dont seem to have enough control over it. I use a rubber grip on my pen it seems to reduce the writers cramp because i dont hold the pen as tight

Good lUck at university and let us know how you get on and rember to get help if you need it dont be sceard.

Emma
hmmm007
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Post by hmmm007 »

Thank you for such a supportive reply Emma, you're really lovely. :)

I had so much trouble trying to get motivated for A-levels. I just couldn't organise myself the way other people seemed to be able to and I was unmotivated and tired all the time. As you know, studying takes a lot of reading and even though I read things the actual facts on the page don't seem to register in my brain unless I concentrate really really really hard and re-read it several times.

The one aspect I'm worried about when going to uni is all the noise and lights in clubs. Especially the noise, I really can't stand loud noise, it makes me panic and really unsettles me!

I've never actually met anyone else who holds their pen the same way as I do, so this is quite a special moment...lol It is awkward because the thumb restricts the movement but the other way is just too difficult!

Anyway, thanks for understanding. :)
donnaf
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Post by donnaf »

Hiya, u sound very much like me n most dyspraxics I have been in contact with. I'm sure everyone on here can identify with what u said to some degree or another. Everyone has different degrees of difficulty with dyspraxia, you dont sound overly clumsy (lucky u lol) but u definately sound dyspraxic to me.
Check out the dyspraxia foundation website if u haven't already
http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/
That really helped me when I first realised I was dyspraxic, before this place existed to help me out!
The only advice I can offer about clubs is the not very responsible get drunk asap, which I cant recommend, but its the only thing that helped me! These days I just dont go to those places, I'm older n happier to see my mates elsewhere!
Good luck, u will learn to get your head round havin this. It took me over 2 years to fully accept I had dyspraxia n it was a long, hard road. Don't let the 2 year thing be the voice of doom to u. Good support will make it much easier. Once I found decent support, I accepted it really quickly. Just get good people around you, and don't let anyone tell u that u are making things up. With good support u will come out the other side feeling a much stronger person.
:D
I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never ever gonna keep me down :D

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Daniel
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Post by Daniel »

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing your experiences and I'm sorry you've encountered unhelpful responses elsewhere. Certainly the symptoms you describe are all shared by dyspraxics I know and/or myself.

It's important to understand that dyspraxia is a varied creature and presents itself in a variety of ways and severities depending on the individual so you shouldn't expect to exhibit all the symptoms mentioned by others but there are always a certain number of common features.

Heightened sensitivity of the senses are quite often highlighted as symptoms especially in regard to touch, light and sound. I normally demand a plentiful area of personal space and I've often had problems with proximity to people here in Asia where I'm currently travelling as the concept of personal space seems not to exist. It's something you can learn to tolerate to an extent I've found or otherwise you can take your mind off being in a scrum through focusing on something such as music.

Likewise with being in the company of others; aside from a few good friends I find I have a limited tolerance for social interaction. Often I find the process draining and I'll zone out at some point in the evening. I am perfectly happy with my own company too which I'd always put down to being an only child and while this likely plays a role it's only part of the picture which dyspraxia completes.

As others have suggested there are resources on the net to help you look into the symptoms of dyspraxia further. Certainly what you've said so far fits the bill pretty well. If you're in education you may well find getting an assessment through your uni is the easiest way to procede assuming that's what your looking for.

Congratulations also on being the 100th member of the forum! Ferrero Rocher all round!
donnaf
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Post by donnaf »

Yay, the Ferrero Rocher are on Dan!!
Oh damn that's Milky Bars aint it.... :rolleyes:
I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never ever gonna keep me down :D

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Daniel
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Post by Daniel »

donnaf wrote:Yay, the Ferrero Rocher are on Dan!!
Oh damn that's milky bars aint it.... :rolleyes:
Remind me to arrange one of my Ambassadorial receptions when I get back.
eoakley
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Post by eoakley »

Hello Again
I have found it help full to have a little piece of paper when reading a book and everytime i have read somthing that is important i write it down
at at the end of a page i try to write a little summary of it.

About the night clubs There are some which are more lighty and noisey It took me a while after i started at uni to actually go any whereelse but our su bar because if id had enough i could just go back to my halls. anyway I have found that some of the clubs have quiet rooms/ bars so when I feel like going i can just go and have a sit down with a mate.

during the first term I found the noise in my halls quite difficult to deal with at times but i would go off to the libary for a bit of peace and quiet.
but at 3am when people come home the libary could not help me my ear plugs were a very good investment.

I havent met anyone else who holds the pen in the same way as myself either. I also hold a knife a folk funney which the girls at uni took great pleasure in point out at most mealtimes, but if we all did everything the same the world would be very boring.

Good Luck
Emma
david456
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Post by david456 »

Hi I'm David, aged 19.

I can relate to many things in your post. I must say that only in the past few weeks people have tried to get me to go clubbing, which I really hate.

I gave in the other week, It was crowded smokey and I felt really uncomfortable, yet people I know insist on goign, but I hate it. Really don't know what to do about it.
donnaf
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Post by donnaf »

Daniel wrote: Remind me to arrange one of my Ambassadorial receptions when I get back.
Lol I will. I don't let anyone forget Ferrero Rocher promises!
I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never ever gonna keep me down :D

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Ruth
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Post by Ruth »

hello , good afternoon. and welcome to our 100th member! :bumps: :rofl:

I'm 32 and have just finished my 2nd year at Reading Uni.

I too am very protective about my personal spaceand oftem find I'm backing away from people etc. I'm a fairly uotgoing sort of gal but to long with others just drains me and I have to go and be quiet - this place ias fab for that!

Dans word as ever or true and insightful! Dyspraxia is complicated and different bits effect different people in differnt ways.

I got my diagnosis at uni - woyd yu be interested in doing that?

David - I hate 'real' night clubs and no longer go - I too used to get dragged against my better judgement occasionally. I do like some alternative clubs though where they do things differently and play my kind of tunes. So my advise would be don't go!! and look for alternative venues instead with some live music or something!

Daniel - Hooray for ferrero Rocher!!
josiejo31
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Post by josiejo31 »

i like frerre rosher! but anyway, im starting uni soon too and i hate night clubs and tht kinda thing which is one of my main reasons why im going to Lampeter uni because it is way out in the country and they have a nigthclub that is only open 3 nights a week. im quite worried though that all my new friends will want to go and wont understand that i dont want to. so your not the only one dreading this, i guess we just have to stay firm and not be pressured!
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