Just need some help please?

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Samantha
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Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 8:38 am

Just need some help please?

Post by Samantha »

Hi people who use this website. I am now 45, diagnosed with Dyspraxia about 9 years ago, have IBS, haven't worked since my dad died 7 years ago. I have along with my husband tried for children for over 6 years with no luck, so asked to see my hospital notes since we were told we couldn't have children 3.5 years ago, apparently due to hormone levels. Asked for the truth, insisted on seeing my hospital notes. Didn't see those until 12th October this year. Then I discovered the truth... My notes say I have something called Narcissistic personality disorder. Never heard of it, not able to sleep at night due to what I read and made my IBS dreadful. What the heck??? What is it? Why me? Haven't I had enough to cope with? I have Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, IBS, possible coeliac disease. Never harmed a soul, would give someone else my last penny and misunderstand people. A fertility counsellor wrote this in my notes. What do I do? No children due to being raped twice, very overly cautious of men because of this, but levels of trust are now shattered. How do I continue living, do i just jump? I feel I have no reason to live any more. It's devastated me, I have only just discovered this and don't know what to do. Please help, no-body has ever said anything like this to me including doctors, consultants etc. Gutted.
Andrew_S_Hatton
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Re: Just need some help please?

Post by Andrew_S_Hatton »

Thanks for posting Samantha - news about being able to have children is always very stressful and you have it on top of loads of other issues, some of which I recognise.

I cannot give complete answers and can only offer thoughts.

I am 69 - and a retired qualified social worker/probation officer with thirty years experience of dealing with families under a variety of stressful situations.

I suspected I was dyspraxic aged 50 and later had it confirmed. I found most help came via The Dyspraxia Foundation and particularly face to face engagement with others who identify as dyspraxic or with related conditions - sharing experiences and avoiding giving or receiving advice.

I first dealt with a person diagnosed by NHS consultants as having some sort of personality disorder in the mid 1970s - it seemed meaningless nonsense then but I lacked the experience and professional credibility to challenge such thinking but now I am certain it is illogical nonsense to describe another person (of whom one can only have partial knowledge about) as having any sort of personality disorder.

To infer that someone's personality is flawed is to suggest that there is an ideal personality and that we were born flawed - which cannot be so - we are who we are and that is all there is to it - some of us have brains and emotions that function differently to the majority - who can be described as neurotypicals meaning I am neurodiverse. I believe that is all there is to it but sadly that is not what is taught in medical schools where the medical model of disability prevails - we know better than the folk living with the condition and they need to change to fit into the world as it is - seems to be what they foolishly teach,

The alternative view point to which I subscribe is The Social Model of Disability, which you might find useful to explore.

I am curious about where you live and how your husband is taking all this, I do hope you are able to support each other. Sometimes although my wife and I are exceptionally loyal to one another - we have been together since meeting as teenagers in 1964 - we are not very good at supporting each other emotionally.

I wonder whether you are a member of The Dyspraxia Foundation - they are not so good with us adults but nonetheless are a way of contacting others.

Have you seen their website or contacted their helpline?

I have more I could say but will see how you respond and whether others have contributions to make.

Also - you have great life axperience already & I suspect - to even be able to post coherently - have considerable skills at adapting to this neurotypical world.

I hope you have a look at other posts and make contributions - they are not all emotionally difficult - I have even contributed to one this morning realising that I am not alone in struggling with packaging - see
The Just juicy chicken fiasco
Meanwhile that helpline may also be useful - please let us know what you think about it and these comments.

https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/abou ... a/finding/
Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: Just need some help please?

Post by Tom fod »

Samantha wrote: Tue Oct 30, 2018 9:11 am Hi people who use this website. I am now 45, diagnosed with Dyspraxia about 9 years ago, have IBS, haven't worked since my dad died 7 years ago. I have along with my husband tried for children for over 6 years with no luck, so asked to see my hospital notes since we were told we couldn't have children 3.5 years ago, apparently due to hormone levels. Asked for the truth, insisted on seeing my hospital notes. Didn't see those until 12th October this year. Then I discovered the truth... My notes say I have something called Narcissistic personality disorder. Never heard of it, not able to sleep at night due to what I read and made my IBS dreadful. What the heck??? What is it? Why me? Haven't I had enough to cope with? I have Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, IBS, possible coeliac disease. Never harmed a soul, would give someone else my last penny and misunderstand people. A fertility counsellor wrote this in my notes. What do I do? No children due to being raped twice, very overly cautious of men because of this, but levels of trust are now shattered. How do I continue living, do i just jump? I feel I have no reason to live any more. It's devastated me, I have only just discovered this and don't know what to do. Please help, no-body has ever said anything like this to me including doctors, consultants etc. Gutted.
Hi Samantha

Sorry we cannot welcome you under better circumstances.

So is a Fertility Counsellor a Mental Health Professional who can diagnose NPD? Or is it some sort of personal hunch that he/she had from counselling you? From how you describe it it does sound like an highly inappropriate personal opinion rather than a professional qualified opinion?

In the first instance you need to speak to someone given your thoughts about harming yourself. You may then wish to consider whether you ask to ask for a formal explanation of the comments and consider a formal complaint and to ask for it to be removed from your records.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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