Just found this forum. Hi.

Introduce yourself here, a bit about you and your interests.

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crlok
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2017 8:26 am

Just found this forum. Hi.

Post by crlok » Tue Oct 17, 2017 8:49 am

Hi.
I had a particularly frustrating day at university today. One of those days where nothing I say seems to come out in a way that makes sense, and that's when I managed to talk at all. I started googling advice for dyspraxiacs and socializing when I found this. It's nice to see a place where people seem to have similar experiences to mine.

Im from Canada (Edmonton) and am going to school to be a teacher, after many years of aimless wandering without a direction in life, and having difficulties holding down jobs. I am excited as I think that hopefully this new path will work out for me.

I was diagnosed with dyspraxia when I was quite young, but I was never allowed to really acknowledge it as a huge part of my childhood was about overcoming dyspraxia. I'm not blaming my parents here, if it wasn't for my mum I wouldn't be where I am. I had occupational, physio, and speech therapy and worked incredibly hard to be where I am. For a long time I barely acknowledged my disability as the narrative in my family was that I had overcome it, but as an adult I've started to acknowledge that I lot of the things I don't like about myself are from this and that I need to accept that I am dyspraxic and that I can't very well just remove it. I still have terrible spatial awareness, I seem to be incapable of eating or drinking without making a mess, I mentioned my huge social anxieties (I'm 30 and I've never dated and I've found forming those kinds of relationships very difficult), I have a terrible memory, and have a lot of trouble staying organised and remembering deadlines. I feel like I'm blaming my personal problems on the disability, but I think that somewhat comes from my upbringing in that I read taught that it was something I could defeat with hard work, and I'm no longer sure if that is even a good attitude.

I'm not sure how to wrap up here. I've been looking around the board here and it is nice just to see that I'm not alone.

Tom fod
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Posts: 1890
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Just found this forum. Hi.

Post by Tom fod » Tue Oct 17, 2017 10:18 pm

Hi and welcome. Glad you've found us

I think it is to an extent possible to 'defy' the condition and treat/consider it as a difference, not necessarily a disability. We have a wide range of members here from all corners of the globe and there's quite a variance in the degree to which we're affected and our self-developed coping strategies. Yes we have to work harder, unfortunately hard work is not always enough. I think it's important to not for get to be careful with regards looking after our emotional wellbeing by not being too hard on ourselves and taking things, as much as possible, at our own pace. There's always a temptation to try and compare ourselves to others, but it's never objective and sometimes we have to accept sometimes certain things/people are not worth the energy fighting against. It can be hard to determine what they are and we forget there may be another way that achieves the same or even a better result.

I too struggle with the social side, especially dating and I find I have a tendency to put too much pressure on myself.

Please feel free to contribute and don't be shy about reopening dormant threads if you have something to add that might reignite debate or potentially help the original or new reader who happens across the topic.
Last edited by Tom fod on Tue Oct 17, 2017 10:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: I am a frustrated perfectionist
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

nickye
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Posts: 158
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:16 pm

Re: Just found this forum. Hi.

Post by nickye » Wed Oct 18, 2017 7:40 am

Hi

I can really relate to this, even though I wasn't diagnosed with dyspraxia until the age of 44! I think it is a balance - it can be hard to find a balance between being resigned to the condition and trying to change yourself too much. Dys[raxia is a hard thing to explain because it affects people differently - I had a lot of difficulty learning to drive, riding a bike, catching a ball (the last two I have never really mastered!), trouble with organising myself and yet I have a good long term memory, neat handwriting, and play the piano.

If you met me know you would probably say I'm quite sociable, I talk a lot but as a child I was very quiet, a bit in my own world, certainly lots of what you might call autistic traits. I find that although I'm confident outwardly, inwardly I still struggle and often feel overloaded with information.

One of the main strengths I think is that we often have a lot of empathy for other people, and as a teacher this will be a great asset. I work with young people and am able to break things down for them and explain them in detail.

I think a lot of us on here are very hard on ourselves - me included! I am trying to think I need to be as kind to myself as I am to other people who are struggling, and just understand my brain works differently in some ways. It doesn't mean you can't improve on things, but on the other hand you have to accept certain differences.

Some things have both a good and a bad side. I have/had sensory kind of issues - as a child I ate only dry food and hated fruit and vegetables, couldn't bear the textures. And yet that sensitivity also means I can lose myself in paintings and music and really feel the joy of life just like I did as a child.

I'm glad you've found this forum and hope it helps.

Nicky

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